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An Interview with the Cobra Commander himself, Augustus Baldwin

47 Day 577, 19:20 Canada
Derek Harland: Today I am with Augustus Baldwin, who is the Cobra Commander and is currently launching a mass-terrorist attack on eCanada and its secrets. Tell me Augustus, what motivated you to start this?

COBRA_AB: Well Chuck, COBRA originally formed as a way to combat the corrupt government currently in power, but has spawned in many ways into a more lucrative business venture. Its now a mix of political ideology, and for many of our members, simply pure greed.

DerekHarland: I see. Why do you believe the government is corrupt and do you believe that trying to corrupt it will benefit eCanada?

COBRA_AB: Well if the government wasn't already so completely corrupt and greedy then how could COBRA so thoroughly penetrate every aspect of it within 3 days? The thing about authoritarian regimes is that each member that makes up that regime is only looking out for their own power. COBRA has simply provided them with a better offer than Jacobi.

DerekHarland: A better offer by publicly exposing secrets from the eCanadian government that any of our allies or worse, our enemies could see?

COBRA_AB: Well you see we aren't just exposing them. COBRA has given the government 48 hours to agree to a monthly payment to COBRA of 1,000 CAD. Should they decline our ultimatium then we will be forced to sell their secrets to foreign interests. Speaking of which, here is Canada's confidential CAF budget for this month. (There is a link to an eCanadian forum post that has been screenshotted but I will not post it for security reasons.) errr wait, no that one is an outline of our strategic military stockpiles. So you see, they pay, or someone else will

DerekHarland: So by making the eCanadian government pay money out of their budget, you think that this will help the country?

COBRA_AB: We believe it will help COBRA, as I said, this regime is so thoroughly corrupt that it is willing to hand COBRA information so that we can then ransom it back to them in exchange for money. Its genius really.

DerekHarland: Do you believe that people will buy your secrets?

COBRA_AB: we have already recieved several offers

DerekHarland: What is the current rate for some of these secrets if you don't mind disclosing that?

COBRA_AB: We obviously cannot demand as much as we do from the Canadian government, but anything will do really, if the government wont pay our ransom. They are being negotiated. They will be announced afterwards by the purchasing party as part of a verification of our power

DerekHarland: Around how many people do you have working on this with you? And how have you managed to pull off these infiltrations of eCanadian government secrets?

COBRA_AB: Now I can't tell you that Chuck, can I? Maybe you should interview CSIS Director Thordan on that one. If he isn't already a COBRA agent, that is.

DerekHarland: If you have managed to get the CSIS director on your side then it is safe to say eCanada is in trouble then. How far do you plan on taking this, does COBRA have any limits?

COBRA_AB: COBRA has no limits. Soon every aspect of Canada will be controlled by agents of COBRA through one way or another. There is nothing anyone can do to stop us.

DerekHarland: You do know that you can be banned from eCanada based on what you are doing right?

COBRA_AB: Well if thats the limits of the governments power then I don't feel concerned at all. They can ban me, but what am I? Im just a man. Its the COBRA agents lurking in every level of government that hand me my information. banning me would do little but upset me, nothing would change. COBRA is bigger than me. COBRA is an idea, you can't ban an idea.

DerekHarland: You don't think that anything can be done to stop COBRA? Things can be done and they WILL be done to stop it. Let me ask you this, do you care for eCanada? Are you loyal to your country?

COBRA_AB: We are loyal to COBRA, and Canada belongs to COBRA. COBRA is unstoppable.

DerekHarland: You may think so but at the rate you are publicly exposing important and confidential notes for eCanada, our enemies will eventually gain wind of it and it is possible that eCanada can be caught by an attack based on the secrets exposed to the global public. COBRA is not unstoppable. You may think so but it will be stopped. There are too many people in eCanada who are against your evil deed to put up with it for much longer.

COBRA_AB: Then you can blame the government for not paying the ransom. This is only the begining, in one week COBRA will launch OPERATION MENACE and the face of Canada will never again be the same. ONE WEEK! Pay now, or else!

DerekHarland: Care to give us any hints as to what OPERATION MENACE might include?

COBRA_AB: Well that would spoil the suprise, now wouldn't it? Lets just say that should the government agree to our current demands then COBRA will take that into consideration.

DerekHarland: I am personally demanding that the government doesn't give into your demands and I don't expect that they will. Will this operation criticially damage eCanada?

COBRA_AB: Well that depends on if our demands are met, now doesn't it? The only thing standing between Canada and complete anarchy is your governments willingness to meet our demands.

DerekHarland: Complete anarchy? No matter what you or COBRA does, you won't achieve your goals. I suspect in the near future that you will be banned and although you think COBRA will be upheld, I think without you to lead them it won't last very long. What about you?

COBRA_AB: Well COBRA is run through the game, not through the forums, how would losing the forums hinder my leadership of COBRA? I don't have any access on the forums, its COBRA's spies who are in cabinet, congress, the military, and the supreme court. How will you stop the ones who NEED the forums? You see, your governments counter-measures are weak and ineffectual. While COBRA turns its more influential and powerful officals, incapacitates its defensive capabilities, and auctions its secrets the government responds with slaps on the wrist. The government does not have the capacity to fight COBRA.

DerekHarland: Eventually people will figure out who is in COBRA and when that day comes, COBRA's reign is over. I have been curious for awhile, and were you serious when you claimed COBRA was going to PTO the DAL party?

COBRA_AB: With every passing day a new batch of recruits join COBRA. Every generation will bring new agents. So long as the Jacobi regime continues to rule outside the law, continues to attempt to purge its opponents, continues to employ criminals like then there will all be those so disillusioned, or so greedy and desperate, that they will join COBRA. And yes, COBRA has committed to taking over DAL

DerekHarland: I am curious as to why the DAL party is being targeted. Why are you going to "attempt" to make other people pay for what you think is someone else's mistake?

COBRA_AB: The members of DAL will collectively purchase their party back from COBRA

DerekHarland: The day that happens is the day you are not an asshole AB, which will be never. I don't think COBRA will do 1/4 of the things you think it will. Is there anything else that you would like to say before we wrap up this interview?

COBRA_AB: Yes, Cobra has produced a video message for Jacobi. (AB then showed me a link to a video which can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxmUuR8yn0c) You have 48 hours, starting now.

DerekHarland: Who has 48 hours and before what happens?

COBRA_AB: In 48 hours COBRA will sell all of Canada's military and political secrets to the highest bidder unless the Jacobi regime transfers 1000 CAD a month to the COBRA Organization. How many bidders do you have so far? Two? You and maybe someone else that is curious?

DerekHarland: How many bidders do you have so far? Two? You and maybe someone else that is curious?

COBRA_AB: Can't say until afterwards when it will be publicly announced as a requirement of the sale. All bidders and bids are private until then, so that failed bidders are not exposed.

DerekHarland: I think this is what you are going for, but who do you think you are, the Joker?

COBRA_AB: No, I'm COBRA Commander. Watch our video

DerekHarland: I will consider it when I am on a computer with sound. Before I officially close off this interview, what more does your diabolical mind have to say?

COBRA_AB: Remember, 48 hours.

DerekHarland: Ok I am sure your demands will be met, everything will turn out ok for you and you will be rich along with everyone else in COBRA. As I conclude this interview, I must say that I am disgusted and outraged by your behaviour that you think will succeed. If you do succeed you will have possibly wrecked eCanada and the problem is, I don't think you care.

COBRA_AB: 48 hours.

As you can see, Augustus Baldwin thinks that his COBRA organization is serious and they are going to do some serious damage in eCanada. Whether he can or not, I ask everyone vote this article up and get it into the top 5 so everyone could see what he is planning to do and we can all try and stop him and the whole COBRA organization.

Vote this article up!

This is Derek Harland signing off.

 
Report comments
 
BelatedDeath
32
BelatedDeath Day 577, 19:27

lol, AB...

 
Xeis
18
Xeis Day 577, 20:14

Even though I'm still new to DAL all I can say s this... BRING IT!

 
Duke Leto
31
Duke Leto Day 577, 20:56

Damn! I guess AB found out about the company picnic "incident"

 
Joe Wood
24
Joe Wood Day 577, 21:00

see, thats why we gotta bring GI JOE into this.

i volenteer to be Joe. ^^

 
Bill Forder
25
Bill Forder Day 577, 22:02

Is this a joke or something? Serious question.

 
Derek Harland
24
Derek Harland Day 577, 22:05

Unfortunately, it's real Bill.

 
Eldorino
29
Eldorino Day 577, 22:15

Yes, it is. And we can see that even sarcasm and irony cannot stop the determination in COBRA's will or answers, which is totally... abnormal. This transcend the zone of nromality, now. This is just... surreal. I'm missing words. How can it be sanely intended... i just don't get it...

 
Sonny Chiba
23
Sonny Chiba Day 577, 22:23

Cobra antivenom = full transparency.

 
UltraDyne Systems
Or
UltraDyne Systems Day 577, 23:15

Sonny Chiba is right, if there are no secrets, then what will COBRA steal?

 
Joe Wood
24
Joe Wood Day 578, 00:14

our pride?

heyhey, i just thought of somthing. instead of paying them for our own secrets, we pay them to discover the secrets of other counties. they become canada's spies, leading up to a eWorld war of wits, with countries trying to infillitrate another country to find their secrets, and to protect their own.

how wonderfull. spy novels are awesome

 
Pmzqonxw
24
Pmzqonxw Day 578, 00:34

With AB always sticking his nose into government business, I don't think we ever had any to begin with. Plus this whole "COBRA" thing is probably half the reason it's so easy, people in their late 20's feeling old and having a ... early-mid-life crisis trying to relive their childhood?

 
Moffington
24
Moffington Day 578, 00:35

So everyone knows AB is RAMDONLY donating money to government members so he can say he has agents when he really doesn't.

 
cujo8400
24
cujo8400 Day 578, 01:05

I just want to say to anybody that reads this, please note: I have talked to Thordan and I do not believe he would join COBRA like AB insinuates he might have. Thordan is neutral. CSIS is neutral. Anybody that does not agree with me, stop by the eCan IRC room and have a chat with Thordan. He believes in the security of eCan more than anything else in this game.

 
TheTones
20
TheTones Day 578, 01:10

It is a long standing defense of the scoundrel that the wrongs of others justify wrongdoing on ones own part. While there is no doubt that there are certain wrongs which cannot be addressed,confronted or rectified while adhering to perfect morality, only a complete and total A$$hole would try to justify willful sabotage, destruction and the weakening of ones own country with the excuse of combating "wrongs" and "corruption", and the fact that baldwin is a much accused co-conspirator to many scandals within our country completely strips him of any just credibility. I beg Jacobi and our congress to banish this prick and his cronies from our country: it is undeniable now that Augustus and his associates care little if at all for Canada (E- or RL), and seek glory and profit only for themselves (It's admitted clearly and frankly here and elsewhere, both in word and action). F you augustus, your boy burk, and any other jagoff who would put themselves above the greater good of the people,
Tones

 
TaiwanPanda
25
TaiwanPanda Day 578, 03:27

Hes doing a good thing for Canada! He's allowing all Canadian citizen to unite under one common goal: To destory Cobra Organization and their lackeys. Lol to the new generation, evil never wins. Face the light, bask in honour. For glory and dignity. That is what defines a true Canadian. WE ARE CANADIAN!

 
Joe Wood
24
Joe Wood Day 578, 04:24

and im also GI JOE! canadian joe FTW!!!!!!!!!

ah im kidding, but baldwin really is getting annoying, with his whole betraying canada thing.

your hurting my feelings :'(

 
Andy Goolahee
18
Andy Goolahee Day 578, 06:04

Well at least the CEP party is finally showing it's true colors!

You rotten bunch of douche bags. Sour grapes much? Thanks for officially confirming what many eCanadians were on the fence about.

I put forth that all eCanadians do everything they can to bring down the CEP not COBRA. COBRA is just the lawless arm of the CEP so that they can pretend to still be legit.

F*uck this. These CEP jack offs have gone too far this time...and to think, this comes after weeks of them trying to appear high and mighty...above such childish tactics my ass!

And these are the same folks who said Dean22 was a threat?

I notice Bruck seems to be absent from all these conversations as well...douche.

 
Dr.Pain
35
Dr.Pain Day 578, 06:53

Now where is Mountie Joe to protect us, eh?

 
Stephen Zhukov
24
Stephen Zhukov Day 578, 07:55

Fire all members of Cobra why the government paying Cobra's salary?

 
Funky Hum24n
38
Funky Hum24n Day 578, 07:56

Aieeee! Fleee! Ruuun!

*Hides in bomb bunker*

 
Plugson
35
Plugson Day 578, 08:45

Good point TaiwanPanda. There is a silver lining to this storm of paranoia:
"Only under attack can we learn to be as one. “There is no such thing as an external enemy” so the only way can unite is to project one outward. A scapegoat is needed as sacrifice to quell the unrest."
-Maybe AB is giving himself up for the good of the country:
<a href="http://www.ispso.org/Symposia/Melbourne/Michael.htm" target="_blank">http://www.ispso.org/Symposia/Melbourne/[..]l.htm</a>

 
BenMartin
24
BenMartin Day 578, 09:32

@Stephen Zhukov.... and while were at it lets just kill Osama Bin Ladin

 
jbdivinus
24
jbdivinus Day 578, 10:16

How dare any of you pin this on the CEP? While you may have problems with the party, I find it disgusting to think that anyone would believe that the CEP would be simply stealing information and becoming a terrorist group like this. The official stance of the CEP is that any member who is found to be in COBRA will be immediately banished. We are compeltely and utterly against such an organisation.

In my opinion, anyone who would accuse one of the greatest parties in eCanada of such treachery should themselves be banned.
Associating Bruck with this, and by extension the CEP as an entire party, with this behavious is outrageous,and frankly, pathetic.
So TheTones, Andy, get some respect for this country and fight the problem. Trying to attack Bruck or the CEP because of political problems by calling us terrorists is horrifying. I certainly hope that Jacobi, all of the cabinet, and all of congress do not share your views, or Canada isnt the Canada Ive valued for so long and wish to fight to protect.
Shame on all of you who would blame this on an entire party, simpyl because you do not like them...

 
Tamas Dzsudzsak
26
Tamas Dzsudzsak Day 578, 10:43

eCanada is sadly descending into the realms of the eUK, when the ruling elite (who laughably) where communists and political hobos)started losing their power.

The chances are that ho ever is doing it is doing because they are a member of eCanada's former ruling circle, it shows the total sum of their patriotism when they would rather screw eCanada to make themselves feel needed.
If they are found out, make sure they are thrown out of eCanada and what ever company they own in eCan is blacklisted and driven into nothing.

 
Andy Goolahee
18
Andy Goolahee Day 578, 10:48

jbdivnus
"In my opinion, anyone who would accuse one of the greatest parties in eCanada of such treachery should themselves be banned. "

So you would ban free speech now?!?! Classic CEP crap.

FACTS:
1. The CEP spoke about taking over DAL. This somehow became a COBRA initiative.
2. All the "big talking" CEP members that usually light up these message boards with their opinions...where are they now? They are staying quiet because they know what you won't admit.
3. The day COBRA came out...CEP attacks against Jacobi stopped. Odd eh?
3. Not 1 CEP member has spoken out about this DISGRACE. Yeah I know your official party stance "Anyone caught, blah, blah" but I ask you this: When the CEP was going on and ON about "doing the right thing" for the past few weeks(Bruck and AB being most vocal)how would they have responded if someone else did this?

Shame on you for trying to fool the Canadian people.

 
Andy Goolahee
18
Andy Goolahee Day 578, 10:55

Also, if AB is on your friends list...I am not going to even consider what you say to be truthful.

Terrorist.

 
Sakiel
17
Sakiel Day 578, 11:13

hmmmm.
military secrets? the element of surprise is important and so is planning. unfortunately if the plan takes to long to initiate some little fool or agent will sell your secrets. Planning, preparing, and initiation of all military activity within 24 hours will insure less of this selling of information, due to the fact information can only be spread so quickly. Fu-Rin-Ka-Zan is a chinese military strategy and could possibly keep canada or where ever out of this information buisness. That is if the government doesn't want to become transparent.

Now that I say that, the government has to become more transparent unless it wants its inhabitants to know that their are many secrets going around under there noses.

 
COBRA Organization
Or
COBRA Organization Day 578, 11:23

HAHAHA

Fight amongst yourselves my pets.

 
Rylde
50
Rylde Day 578, 11:52

this is pathetic i think i'm going to move countries. way to much childless drama in ecanada. I had hopes of us being a factor in the scheme of things when it comes to world affairs. Going to head somewhere with some actual leadership and goals. We may be enemies of PEACE but atleast there united and accomplish things. Today I was actually going to join the CAF as I hit 4.50. But this country is a joke and seems like it will continue to be.

 
Rylde
50
Rylde Day 578, 11:52

this is pathetic i think i'm going to move countries. way to much childless drama in ecanada. I had hopes of us being a factor in the scheme of things when it comes to world affairs. Going to head somewhere with some actual leadership and goals. We may be enemies of PEACE but atleast there united and accomplish things. Today I was actually going to join the CAF as I hit 4.50. But this country is a joke and seems like it will continue to be.

 
Rylde
50
Rylde Day 578, 11:52

This is pathetic i think i'm going to move countries. way to much childless drama in ecanada. I had hopes of us being a factor in the scheme of things when it comes to world affairs. Going to head somewhere with some actual leadership and goals. We may be enemies of PEACE but atleast there united and accomplish things. Today I was actually going to join the CAF as I hit 4.50. But this country is a joke and seems like it will continue to be.

 
Rylde
50
Rylde Day 578, 11:55

This is pathetic i think i'm going to move countries. way to much childless drama in ecanada. I had hopes of us being a factor in the scheme of things when it comes to world affairs. Going to head somewhere with some actual leadership and goals. We may be enemies of PEACE but atleast there united and accomplish things. Today I was actually going to join the CAF as I hit 4.50. But this country is a joke and seems like it will continue to be.

 
Rylde
50
Rylde Day 578, 11:57

This is pathetic i think i'm going to move countries. way to much childless drama in ecanada. I had hopes of us being a factor in the scheme of things when it comes to world affairs. Going to head somewhere with some actual leadership and goals. We may be enemies of PEACE but atleast there united and accomplish things. Today I was actually going to join the CAF as I hit 4.50. But this country is a joke and seems like it will continue to be.

 
Tyler F. Durden
19
Tyler F. Durden Day 578, 13:55

By the way, what military secrets is he purporting to sell?

Been to war lately?

 
WolfeCanada
23
WolfeCanada Day 578, 13:56

This isn't drama....it's too comedic. Drama + Comedy = Dramedy

 
Soulscode
27
Soulscode Day 578, 14:37

LOL Auggie.. he thinks he's people.

 
Keith Teeple
20
Keith Teeple Day 578, 14:45

AB you're an idiot! Get out of eCanada, you're not benefitting us in anyway, you're going to destroy the nation you crazy terrorist.

 
koolmanjack
23
koolmanjack Day 578, 14:58

The fact that secrets leaked form congress has everything to do with the loose mouths in congress and nothing to do with AB. A newborn child could have learned those things. I hope that AB attempts to TO DAL, because it would be a nice challenge and a great recruitment device. Although from everything i have seen from AB in the past, i doubt he is up to the challenge. btw derek, good interview.

 
fighter4114
12
fighter4114 Day 578, 15:09

This is kinda sad. Im pretty sure this sounds like a crappy disney cartoon where a bad guy says he is going to take over the world. Then fails.

 
Jochris Witness
29
Jochris Witness Day 578, 15:42

cobra sucks. destro was better. youre only good until cobra-la comes with golobulus. But maybe ill still join your party. I like far-rightists.

 
Tyler F. Durden
19
Tyler F. Durden Day 578, 15:48

Yeah, but usually that crappy disney cartoon bad guy kicks a lot of sand into people's eyes before he fails.

Looks like we gonna have ourselves a good ole fashioned dust up.

 
Joe Wood
24
Joe Wood Day 578, 20:10

"3. Not 1 CEP member has spoken out about this DISGRACE. Yeah I know your official party stance "Anyone caught, blah, blah" but I ask you this: When the CEP was going on and ON about "doing the right thing" for the past few weeks(Bruck and AB being most vocal)how would they have responded if someone else did this?"

i'm a CEP member, and i officially speak out against this disgrace.

there.

 
Petz Inc
Or
Petz Inc Day 578, 23:25

it's like watching an over the hill politician make one final grasp at getting some media coverage....so sad lmao

 
jpat911
20
jpat911 Day 579, 01:34

screw this guy. Dont give into their demands. I would rather have our "secrets" sold out to some other morally backward eCountry then give in to their demands. Lets get the current political power out by some sort of vote of non-confidence and then mess COBRA up.

 
Derek Harland
24
Derek Harland Day 579, 09:59

Glad to see I started such a big discussion .

 
AegisChozo
20
AegisChozo Day 579, 15:45

Ban for Baldwin.

 
Dominik
26
Dominik Day 579, 16:23

It is so gratifying watching Augustus, stripped of all power, positions and influence, vying for attention. Can't say I'm satisfied with the rest of you morons giving it to him, but hey, it's still funny.... in a pathetic kind of why.