Join the new world

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year,
English scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the British, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet.

Shortly after, a story published in the New York Times sai😛
"American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire,
have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the British".

One week later, the Irish Times reported the following:

"After digging as deep as 30 feet in his farm yard near Buncrana Co Donegal, Seamus Maloney, a self-taught archaeologist reported that he found absolutely bugger-all.

Seamus has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Ireland had already gone wireless."

...Makes ya feckin proud to be Irish!



A couple was Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve and the whole place was heaving, packed with other last-minute shoppers.

Walking through the shopping centre, the surprised wife looked up from a window display and noticed her husband was nowhere to be seen. She knew they had lots still to do and she became very upset.

She rummaged in her handbag and found her mobile phoned and then used it to call her husband to ask him where he was.

The husband in a calm voice replie😛 "Darling, you remember the jewellery shop we went into five years ago, where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that one day I would get it for you...?"

His wife's eyes filled with tears of emotion and she began to cry softly and stifling a sob she whispere😛"Yes, I remember that jewellery shop..."
.
.
"Well," he said, "I'm in the pub next door to it."



The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.



The Indian Chief proclaims,

"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger" ...



"In honour of the Harvest Festival,
YOU will be executed in three days.."

"Before I kill you, I grant you three requests"

"What is your FIRST request???'

The Lone Ranger responds,
"I'd like to speak to my horse."

The Chief nods and Silver is brought
before the Lone Ranger who whispers in
Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.

Later that evening, Silver returns with
a beautiful blonde woman on his back.
As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

The next morning the Indian Chief admits
he's impressed..
"You have a very fine and loyal horse",

"But I will still kill you in two days."

"What is your SECOND request???"


The Lone Ranger again asks to speak
to his horse.
Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.

As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.
Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde.

She enters the Lone Rangers tent
and spends the night.

The following morning the Indian Chief
is again impressed.
"You are indeed a man of many talents,"

"But I will still kill you tomorrow."

"What is your LAST request ???"

The Lone Ranger responds,
"I'd like to speak to my horse, .... alone."

The Chief is curious, but he agrees,
and Silver is brought to
the Lone Ranger's tent.

Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,

"READ MY LIPS!!!!"

FOR... THE.... LAST... TIME...



"BRING POSSE