A Candidacy for the Crown of eBelgium.

Day 1,078, 22:55 • Published in Belgium Belgium • by T3SS Finance
From our headquarters in the Royal Autonomous Region of Wallonia, this is a report from The Institution.

Come and gather 'round children.


Good morning, afternoon, or night citizens of eBelgium,

And I do emphasize good because this is a special announcement for all of you, eBelgium; one that will see this country into a Greater light. Yes, the time has come to announce my candidacy for the crown of eBelgium. [open in new window for best results]

But wait a minute. Did I just say crown of eBelgium and not Presidency?

Why yes I did. Allow me to explain myself: We have been observing eBelgium for a while now. We have been sitting among your citizens, listening in on your conversations, buying your affordable merchandise, and using your public facilities all for our master plan:

To reinstate the monarchy in eBelgium. To be more precise, the Tsardom of ancient eBelgium. I want to be your Tsar.

There are many reasons that made us come to this decision. Unfortunately for you, we don't feel like sharing. You know why? Of course not. So, we're going to be nice and tell you why we won't tell you our reasons for making a decision that we are not about to tell you. You're not worth it. I know, I know. A little blunt, but I think you can think for yourself why you rank so low list of people who get to know our reasoning. However, you can redeem yourself, eBelgium. It's not too late to get the approval of a group of people who probably don't speak the same language as you for everyday situations in RL.

Vote for me, M.Leviathin, on the elections on November 5th and you can show us that you, the people of eBelgium, agree to bring back the Tsardom and its former glory to the plains of eBelgium.

For those of you questioning why you should vote for me instead of that other guy (P.S. I hear that he thinks he's better than you), shame on you. My word alone should be enough to ensure your vote. Don't you love this country after all? Anyway, just to please you and show my generosity, I will list some of my goals I hope to accomplish in my lifelong term as your Tsar.

* Get rid of Congress and just give me absolute rule without considering the consequences.
* Conquer a few countries; quite possibly a country(or more) that you want to see conquered.
* To not run off with the national treasury.
* You're pretty, you know that? Much prettier than that other hussy. You know who.

There, if my previous statements were not enough to convince to vote for me, this should quell any opposition nonsense floating around in your head. And don't let the fact that I wrestle lumberjack bears in my time off make you think any more highly of me. Nor the fact that I once managed to beat a narwhal into submission using only my fists should influence your opinion of me. I want to be as modest as possible during this campaign.

I love eBelgium and I know that most of you do too. As we all know, every eBelgium loving citizen wants to see this country rise. Every eBelgium loving citizen wants to see the Tsar reinstated and lead this country into Greatness. Every eBelgium loving citizen is voting M.Leviathin this November 5th.
Are you?



Dio save the Tsar,

M.Leviathin