[ZW] THE END OF NAZI AMERICA [PK]

Day 629, 02:03 • Published in Pakistan Pakistan • by AgentChieftain
WASHINGTON, DC, Portugal - I have received an email directly from the office of President Emerick of the USA stating that he, his husband PigInZen, and his wife Rhane (As well as his boy Elroy, daughter Judy, and their dog Astro) have committed suicide in an underground bunker twenty-four miles from the former capital of the United States. However, his death remains inconclusive due to the methods he had used so the evidence is currently incomplete.

Rumors stemming from the Executive branch say that he had suffered from a nervous breakdown after inheriting the presidency from Harrison Richardson due to America's inevitable collapse. During a meeting with his officially sponsored Field Marshals, he had asked Secretary of State Ajay Bruno on how he should end his own life to avoid being anally destroyed by Euphonix and thus ending his virginity and invalidating his marriage to Dio Brando. Ajay recommended cyanide capsules, but Emerick knew that Big Boss could revive from cyanide poisoning whilst drowning and thus decided to shoot himself as well.

According to our department of intelligence, Emerick married well-known bimbo Rhane while underground in a ceremony carried out in secret by vice president and life partner PigInZen, bringing him to a total of three marriages. The three of them proceeded to tongue kiss each other in an event that could only be described as utterly disgusting.

Immediately after the aforementioned 'Freedom kissing' (as opposed to French kissing), the three of them ingested cyanide capsules. As both his husband and his wife foamed at the mouth from the poison they ingested, Emerick managed to grab his Evoker and summon his Persona, leaving his body comatose and his mind evacuating his body and becoming it's own Stand. Rhane and PigInZen died while kissing each other and foaming poison into each other's mouths.

Below is a picture of what might be his final moments, received by the Pakistani Special Forces via email:



Dio Brando, God Emperor of Pakistan and Stand user, is naturally very curious of the events that took place. "I wonder," he pondered while sipping tea and thumbing through the Quran, "does this mean that Emerick is essentially Jean-Pierre Polnareff? Or, since he could have survived cyanide ingestion by biting his tooth, does this make him Big Boss?"

We at ZA WARUDO believe that his death will accelerate der Untergang and lead to America being divided into the peaceful West America and the rebellious Eastern Colonies. Our editor-in-chief, AgentChieftain, believes that Emerick is not comparable to Big Boss and that his Stand/Persona is likely a "more homosexual Requiem."

More information on this matter will be published as the news develops.


EDITOR'S NOTE: This article was proofread and approved by Emerick himself and is thus inoffensive to him.
PRIDE, POWER, PAKISTAN!