[ZW] 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐘 [UPDATE]

Day 583, 08:33 • Published in Pakistan Pakistan • by AgentChieftain


ISLAMABAD, Pakistan - Good morning, gentlemen and furry abominations. I'm going to be blunt; horrible things happened yesterday that must be addressed. Yesterday was a very big day for us, and we now have a very serious problem on our hands. Something completely unexpected came to a head yesterday at around 15:00 eRepublik Time. Brace yourselves, this is a big one.

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It pains me to inform you all that one of Saturn's moons might contain liquid water.

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I didn't want to be the one to tell you, but there is a strong possibility that there are pigs in space. The Pakistani Space Program's managers are currently in a brainstorming session intended to guide Dio's hand in dealing with the unforeseen space pig menace and calculating the creatures' chance of attacking Pakistan. I'll spare you the details, but salts similar in composition to those used to cure pork were detected in frothy water-ice jets on the surface of Enceladus. Salt in the ice-jets means that water erosion could be taking place under the moon's cold surface, which means that there is a vast saltwater ocean under this moon's crust.

I need not remind you that pigs evolved from creatures that came from the ocean, known to us as the striped pig sharks. Thing is, we do not know how long they have existed, and thus they could have evolved past the all-too-common swine. However, armed with this information and the greatest space program in all of the world, the hypothetical space pigs are no match for us.

Oh, and one more thing: the problem with the Furry Party has been solved, and the main conspirator has received a permanent solution. Congratulations to our fine boys in Diamond is Unbreakable for quickly answering the Furry Question!

PRIDE, POWER, PAKISTAN!