[ZW 2/2] DIOISM, OR THE WAR ON PIGS
Day 460, 00:47
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Published in Pakistan 
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by
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by AgentChieftain
BERN, Switzerland - Welcome back, comrades and swine. As promised, this is my second article for tonight. I want to discuss our religion with you in the presence of those who are pig-like in appearance. As your supreme priest, I am urged to shout our triumphs and shortfalls. I'll try to be more brief than in my previous article.
Our article in the eRepublik Wiki is currently in need of your assistance. The Wigs are asking for the article to be restructured to follow a standard applied to all religions, due to the emergence of wimpy, fledgling religions on the Wiki. I've been busy fixing everything that is broken and ugly on the Wiki, and I am usually sidetracked every time I attempt to get started (By running our glorious country, for instance). Congressman and gentleman BGBW is on the case, but I would like to humbly ask you to assist him and I in improving the article.
The headquarters of our religion shall be in Switzerland, where our god resides. Although Jesus Christ was (Supposedly) born in Jerusalem, his religion has been based in Vatican City. This is nothing new in the world of religions, though I have an uncomfortable feeling that some of you may disagree with this action.
BurningFinger and Preganziol are founding two colleges in Switzerland, the Dioist Institute of Creative Knowledge in Diesselhofen and the Bellinzoa University of Theocratic Teachings in Bellinzoa. The two colleges shall be BRO SCHOOLS (Compare to sister schools), and all applicants will be eligible for dual enrollment.
Of course, those of us that remain in the holy land have a university already open. The Falcon University of Creative Knowledge has long since opened it's doors in Islamabad, and has been teaching new Dioists left and right since it's foundation. marquis.esoteric wrote a letter to me stating how he was overjoyed to have graduated with his Masters in Porcine Science and how Kurotsuchi's unconventional teaching has given him the skill needed to convert the citizens of Canada into ammunition for the Pakistani war machine.
In other news, I am going to begin knighting Non-Dioists. The first to receive the honor will be Sir Michael Lewis of Oregon for his notable contributions in the pacification of the United States of America. In addition, I am considering expatriating Non-Dioists that have proven to be exceptionally pig disgusting, but I want to discuss this privilege with Grand Prophet Altnabla before bestowing the dishonor onto deserving swine.
Irrelevantly, Voltare, "Pope" of the First Church and honorary dunce, has returned from beyond the grave to lead his "church". In spite of the Bible decrying his revival as an abomination, he doesn't stand a ghost of a chance. Perhaps if he revived on Halloween, the Churchists' get some cookies.
In closing, I would like to say that it's an honor serving as your Supreme Priest. I've written around fifty articles documenting our outstanding religion, all of them with love and respect. I know that the love is mutual from the constant titles, positions, friend requests, BRO FISTS, marriage proposals, tattoos, and semen-stained photographs you all have given to me, including the presidency for the fourth time. Thank you.
Sorry about not holding to my promise in keeping the article brief.
PRIDE,
POWER,
PAKISTAN!
________________________________________ _______________________
Copyright © 2008 ZA WARUDO. All rights reserved.
Our article in the eRepublik Wiki is currently in need of your assistance. The Wigs are asking for the article to be restructured to follow a standard applied to all religions, due to the emergence of wimpy, fledgling religions on the Wiki. I've been busy fixing everything that is broken and ugly on the Wiki, and I am usually sidetracked every time I attempt to get started (By running our glorious country, for instance). Congressman and gentleman BGBW is on the case, but I would like to humbly ask you to assist him and I in improving the article.
The headquarters of our religion shall be in Switzerland, where our god resides. Although Jesus Christ was (Supposedly) born in Jerusalem, his religion has been based in Vatican City. This is nothing new in the world of religions, though I have an uncomfortable feeling that some of you may disagree with this action.
BurningFinger and Preganziol are founding two colleges in Switzerland, the Dioist Institute of Creative Knowledge in Diesselhofen and the Bellinzoa University of Theocratic Teachings in Bellinzoa. The two colleges shall be BRO SCHOOLS (Compare to sister schools), and all applicants will be eligible for dual enrollment.
Of course, those of us that remain in the holy land have a university already open. The Falcon University of Creative Knowledge has long since opened it's doors in Islamabad, and has been teaching new Dioists left and right since it's foundation. marquis.esoteric wrote a letter to me stating how he was overjoyed to have graduated with his Masters in Porcine Science and how Kurotsuchi's unconventional teaching has given him the skill needed to convert the citizens of Canada into ammunition for the Pakistani war machine.
In other news, I am going to begin knighting Non-Dioists. The first to receive the honor will be Sir Michael Lewis of Oregon for his notable contributions in the pacification of the United States of America. In addition, I am considering expatriating Non-Dioists that have proven to be exceptionally pig disgusting, but I want to discuss this privilege with Grand Prophet Altnabla before bestowing the dishonor onto deserving swine.
Irrelevantly, Voltare, "Pope" of the First Church and honorary dunce, has returned from beyond the grave to lead his "church". In spite of the Bible decrying his revival as an abomination, he doesn't stand a ghost of a chance. Perhaps if he revived on Halloween, the Churchists' get some cookies.
In closing, I would like to say that it's an honor serving as your Supreme Priest. I've written around fifty articles documenting our outstanding religion, all of them with love and respect. I know that the love is mutual from the constant titles, positions, friend requests, BRO FISTS, marriage proposals, tattoos, and semen-stained photographs you all have given to me, including the presidency for the fourth time. Thank you.
Sorry about not holding to my promise in keeping the article brief.
PRIDE,
POWER,
PAKISTAN!
________________________________________ _______________________
Copyright © 2008 ZA WARUDO. All rights reserved.
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Agent, thank you for everything
Voted, unsubscribed and subscribed again
o/
Reporting in from the land of snow and swine.
It seems the biggest trouble up here is that I am decried right and left by confirmed pig disgusting capitalists, who try to convince the newbies (who already have a hard time understanding Dio's awesome powers for some reason) that Dio is a force of evil in this eworld.
However, I have in my travels encountered a few honorable souls in my travels across this land, Dioists who are also doing their best to live amid the moral decrepitude of capitalistic society. And with Dio in my heart and bros to lead me on there is always hope.
“ A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. ”
Book of Dio, Chapter 7(WeeYakk)
\o
NEW WORLD WAR
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/new-world-war--739784/1/20
10/10
11/10 I read that 3 times in a row.
I had the same trouble in AmeriKKKa, marquis.esoteric. I eventually became frustrated and left for a less pig-like country, Japan. I still try to teach them on their disgusting forum, and I'm making some progress, but the pigs are disgusting in their moderating abilities. However, I am diligent still.
Indeed I have also encountered pig disgusting moderating to some extent. Still, I must continue fighting the good fight.