global news: debunking the shady misho pt 1

Day 5,609, 15:39 • Published in Sweden Ireland • by chris jonadicus

Dear friends, hello.

I was looking at the newsfeeds of e-sweden, and things were as slow as usual.
thats alright.

then, as promised, i saw a fantastic political article by our party president, mr turnbeutel :
link :
https://www.erepublik.com/en/article/-nobel-hello-again--2765237

It emphasizes on the importance of being active, helpful and energetic for the improvement of our e-community, and in turn, for our e-nation in general.

thats fantastic!
but then, i look at misho's article about nobel, which can be found in here:
link :
https://www.erepublik.com/en/article/debunking-the-mysterious-nobel-part-1--2765233

Upon seeing such high levels of fiction, low-level prose and high levels of cringe, i decided to take it to myself, and to reply back to misho's fascinating novel with a new novel of my own.
Its a remix made out of facts, poetry, prose and a nice dash of humour that would bring a smile to him, despite his ill intentions against us.

Here we go :

A few months ago, misho, the mercenary leader of the SOG MU group, decided to join Nobel, on the orders that he received from his superiors, along with his buddy jimcar.

The e-swedish government official was clear : ''misho, you must join the nobel party, infiltrate them, sabotage them, or at the very least, to keep track on their actions and to damage their morale. Complain about things on a daily basis, ask too many questions, and tell them that you will help them, while you will not''.

-''i will do all of those things, boss.'' misho said. ''but on one condition''.

whats your condition? asked the shady government official.

-''i will always be polite to them, and i will get a piece from the ''statskassan'' treasury for my services. i think its only fair, dont you think?''

done. the official said to him.

misho left the army vehicle and tried to enter the Nobel HQ building. the air was wild, and the atmosphere was cold.

misho knew that he would enter an honourable party. A democratic party. And he knew that he would meet interesting characters and that he would have plenty of space for himself in the lunch room.

The corrupt government officials would label Nobel as traitors.
Others, would call them resistance fighters, heroes, a democratic group thats intent on making e-sweden more open, more transparent and more active than before.

Are they really traitors? misho asked to himself.
These guys are not traitors. They are heroes, more than anything else. Guided by a heroic thought, passionate to believe and to fight for what was right. Backed up by justice and not by the bait of ultimate power.

The most heroic ones had already emptied their reserves, sold their belongings and invested in the heroic hope that they would soon be rewarded with freedom, progress and a better system for the e-swedish government.

Some corrupt government officials would indulge in taking funds from the ''statskassan'', the state treasury, where it would be divided between a few ''elite'' players and their buddies.

Not for Nobel tho. Nobel would seek to stop any acts of corruption, any acts of secrecy against the citizens of e-sweden, and to help get things more progressive, more open and better organized for the public.

It would be by the people, for the people.

...Suddenly, misho calls my name.

-yes? i answer back to him.

''can you give me some food and answers, my good sir?'' misho said, always polite, always stern.

-why yes, i can. also what answers do you want? i asked him.

''I WANT SOME FOOD AND ANSWERS NOW!!!'' misho screamed at me, while i tried to stay calm.

-Are you okay? I asked the pale man sitting on the side walk in the shady lit alley.

I recognized the despair in misho's eyes when I saw it. He looked at me and his eyes narrowed angrily.

''chris'', he said. And then with a sudden strike he throwed himself up against me, his attack caught me by surprise and i almost lost my balance.

''YOU EVIL NOBEL GUY CHRIS!'' he screamed at me, while trying to prepare for another attack.
Meanwhile, his friend jimcars was starting to scream random words constantly, mixing his words with insults, random letters and with cookie recipes, which shocked me.

misho could talk nicely, and he was coherent, despite his shady business within Nobel.

But jimcars? he was completely hopeless and lost, a truly lost troll who would fight really hard for redemption, although we all knew for whom he was working for.

Faced with those two dangerous people, I quickly backed off to create a safe zone.

''Look, Im here to help Nobel'', I said while I left two food packs and took a few more steps back.
He crawled forward and took the food while mumbling ''evil naughty chris, multi PTO chris''.

He tore open the food packet with his thin fingers and began to eat. First cautiously, then with increasing zeal.
He gave a food pack to jimcars too. ''We should not eat chris food.. but the food tastes good.., bacon and beef, sausages and meat..'' he mumbled to himself while eating the food pack, while his friend jimcars, was banging his head on a wall, ecstastic by the newfound blessing of a food pack.

I walked away while he was busy eating, and i left the scene.

i realized, that perhaps misho's bravado, his typical mannerisms, his confident behaviour, and the way he kept calling e-pakistan as ''pigs'' in thinly veiled articles, all those things were signs of insecurity.

Perhaps.

Some people called misho and jimcars as government agents, or as traitors.
These guys are not just traitors. Maybe they are victims, more than anythings else. Seduced by naive thoughts, seduced to believe they fought for what was right. Backed up by Asteria and the promises of true power.

The most naive ones had already emptied their reserves, sold their belongings and invested in the belief they would soon be rewarded from this amazing treasury called ''Statskassan''.

But the ''Statskassan'' treasury was reserved only for a select few members of the government, and not for lowly spies such as them.

Such was their fate, and such was their path in e-sweden.

The pigs article. The army car. the SOG MU. All drums and trumpets. The campaigns. It was all just a facade.
The truth was painfully clear. misho is suffering. misho needs help.

I picked up my phone and i tried to call david.

''david, have you seen misho's latest article?''

-no, what is it about?

''i cant tell you right now, but all i can tell you is that its very cringey.''.

-is he presenting himself as a hero again? my friend asked.

''yes.''

-typical of him.

''hmmm. and the cringe level is over 9000 for him''.

-ofcourse it is.

i looked to the window near me and i observed the evening sky.
i left a big sigh and i walked back into my room.
It was a long day, and tomorrow i would have to face misho and jimcars in a lengthy debate about chairs.
I had to be ready.

-end of the story-


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-chris j. an irish player.