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WHBR 2138 - Evolución de los Changos
Dateline: Friday, September 27, 2013 (Day 2,138 minus 1/2)
Location: Edward R. Murrow Back Room, The White House

Today’s Startling Agenda:
: 1: The results of the whispering campaign
: 2: French Letters
: 3: More about Phoenix Quinn!

Editor: OnMeds Phoenix Quinn
Contributors: DipsoMedsDispenser Phoenix Quinn (again)

Just over a year ago, then-President Palestine Stevens appointed a clever if somewhat untested noobster as Secretary of Media. After two snooze-inducing editions of the WHPR, three old farts seized control of the Official US Media. A "communist" media Clampdown ensued.

Over the next nine editions of WHPR, they kept up their stream of revisionist and social-imperialist propaganda, using nicknames, photos and stories heavily slanted from a Stalinist angle. Only through the self-sacrifice of the widely-loved, enormously talented and ever-humble Phoenix "el Profesor" Quinn, who bravely stood against them to expose their dastardly crimes and prove time and again that, when it comes to socialist freedom, "sisters are doing it for themselves", was a Free Press able to survive at the very epicenter of e-Power, in the form of this alternative: WHBR.

Today, according to sooper-seekrit sources, it seems that PQ must once again call the hyper-vigilant revolutionary masses to take up the challenge and come to the defense of FREEDOM and all that is DECENT! Yes, rumor has it that like a bad pile of pennies the uncle of Mariela Castro, the brother of Juanita Castro and the father of Celia Guevara March are once again emerging from their musty corners of the Internetz where they've been collecting dust-bunnies and stuff.

Forewarned is forearmed dear readers! To the barricades! Reliable spies tell me that the revisionist "media revolutionaries" are once again getting set to torment the innocent proletarian e-masses with their drab fashion choices.



Luckily I AM STILL STANDING! (OK, wobbling a bit, but NOT FALLING DOWN godammit!)







_{The results of the whispering campaign}

The whispering campaign unleashed by me, Comrade Phoenix "Guey" Quinn nearly a year ago, which was supposed to only undermine the so-called "media revolution" instead succeeded well beyond my intentions, much to my chagrin.

The original intention of publishing this alternative to WHPR was simply to get people gossiping about important questions like...

Is Civ really a girl? How very, very old is Custer, really? And isn't John Killah actually a French name? Jonquille... it's so obvious, isn't it? Also, by the way, that's a girl's name. So there you go.

Anyway. Since that time, to my horror, not a single interesting change has taken place at the top of the merry-go-round of elitism that passes for politics in the eUSA. Instead, the country has remained effectively freeze-dried in the collective gorilla-glue of a social quagmire brought on by the sticky-deadly embrace of the RGR entity and his swarm of Servo-bots and other bootlickers, who just won't let go of their dream of messing up the USA from within.

Indeed, since the initiation of my whispering campaign against Civil Anarchy, which -- I repeat -- was intended merely as a fairly insipid joke, in fact any and all attempts at thorough-going revolutionary practice have been eliminated from the game at any level. This has left eRepublic as a mere shell of social simulation, with less pizzazz to it than Bing -- a search engine so boring that the NSA doesn't even bother to monitor it, since it's only used by very old people searching endlessly for pie recipes.


On the plus side, I did manage to finally quit smoking shortly after initiating the whispering campaign. So at least some good came of it.

But really. Harumph.



Get off my lawn.











_{French Letters}

Is there any need to expatiate on the abandonment of the revolutionary workers project by every variety of present-day socialist revolutionary? The Soviet Union, China, Cuba, Vietnam, Venezuela, the Super-Commune, Revolutionary New Zealand, the Glorious Czech Peoples Stalinoid e-Republic: what is there left of the project for the construction of the "whole player"? The material poverty which fed the revolutionary desire for transcendence and radical change has been attenuated, but a new poverty has emerged, a poverty born of renunciation and compromise.

The renunciation of poverty has led only to the poverty of renunciation. Was it not the feeling that he had allowed his initial project to be fragmented and effected in a piece-meal fashion that occasioned Osmany Ramon's disgusted remark, "I am not a Ramonist"? Or that led Sub-Comandante Marcos to say, "I crap on all the revolutionary vanguards of the e-world"?

Even the obscenity of fascism springs from a will to play -- but a will to play denied, turned against itself like an ingrown toenail. A will to play becomes a will to power, a will to power becomes a will to passive obedience, a will to passive obedience becomes a death wish.

When it comes to the qualitative sphere, my little hamsters, to concede a fraction is to give up everything.

By all means, let us destroy fascism, but let the same destructive flame consume all ideologies, and all their lackeys to boot.











_{More about Phoenix Quinn!}


Read more, more, more! from Phoenix Quinn in his own newspaper, Players Quarterly, including these quick-witted, awe-inspiring and snappy little articles:

The Deontological Republik, Act One: A Re-telling of Coriolanus where the Poles are the Fash and... and... ummm... err.. Wolverines!


Certain Truths: Which explores the question that weighs like a feather on everyone's mind these days, "What is the nature of the Negatum?"


How Vulgar, How Vain, How False: in which PQ gets all literary and shit, summarizing his own sub-textual theorizing in an astounding exercise of self-reflection that only superficially seems to reveal a narcissistic personality disorder, but is in fact a clever exegesis of a deeper social condition -- all neatly framed by a series of seemingly-deep but actually deeply-banal cinematic platitudes.










Also check out these other fine media outlets:

Recommended Reading | WHPR | eNPR | World Wide Whitehead | The Picayune | The Revolutionist Paper









The voices in your head are calling
Stop wasting your time, there's nothing coming
Only a fool would think someone could save you
The men at the factory are old and cunning
You don't owe nothing, so boy get runnin'
It's the best years of your life they want to steal






Just sayin'.