Talostastic4WorstPotUS

Day 2,137, 10:52 • Published in USA USA • by Talostastic

So, for the last two days, I went beyond my normal apathy and stubbornness and decided, while under the influence of some powerful post-surgical oxyocdone and antibiotics to dive into the ATO efforts for the 24th.

After some brilliance on my part, insomnia hit me like a trucker who already fell asleep. So I kept working.

Flashback. It's been an open secret that I am in favor of the plan to raise taxes. It has cost me a lot of grief and a fair bit of members to my party. So I already had that on my mind, and had already argued with many people over my stance. There are multiple reasons I am uncaring about many of the people who wanted taxes to stay the same or go down, but it comes down to something very simple.

I love money. It is no secret that all of the money from the increased taxes are going straight into my wallet. All of this money is only being divided up among the people currently in Exec position, and anyone who tells you otherwise is an absolute liar.

So. On the heels of my wonderful ATO success, and with the Work Tax increase in mind, I am here to announce my Candidacy for WorstPotUS.



Here are my campaign promises;

1 ) Empty the Reserves. How will I accomplish this? I will give everyone who comments on this article a portion of the total reserves on my third day as PotUS.

2 ) 1% Tax Rate. I will personally fire every Congressmember who votes against this. If this does not work, I will allow our country to be wiped and bribe a Congressmember to propose the bill at the very last second before we have No Congress for October into November.

3 ) Disband the USAF. I will redirect all of USAF's funding to my personal MU. I will not spend any of this money.

4 ) Unilaterally leave Rhombus of Cooperation or whatever Alliance we are a member of.

5 ) th of Jack.

6 ) Further damage relationships with Octagon of Deceit by setting the Campaign of the Day to the lowest priority battle I can find.

7 ) Declare Ponies as our National Animal.

8 ) Change our New Citizen Message to "Leave"

9 ) Did I mention pay everyone who comments on this article out of our Reserves?

10 ) More campaign promises. You're not even reading these.



Cabinet.
Roper 70 is the best choice for my Vice President, as he is a man with a lot of ideas who has bent over backwards to keep his Military Unit running. I may not agree with the decisions he's made that I'm aware of, but I know he only does what he thinks is best for this country.


Josh Frost is a clear appointee for Chief of Staff, since everybody loves to pet cats, so everyone will always pay attention to him and do as he demands. Because Cats. (Have I won the Fed vote yet?)


Who better to trust our economic stability to than a Whale? I will need a translator to be able to properly communicate with him. All those Ack ack ack's just sound the same to me. I don't know if he's asking for a sandwich or my copy of the Nuclear Launch Codes.


Speaks for itself. Drew Blood has all of the qualifications I want in someone writing articles for me to post, because I'm not going to write my own articles.


Ronald Gipper Reagan has the most experience in this country of leading a proper PTO, and since he was instrumental in the founding of this department, it is only fitting that he finally get to lead it.


Who better to educate our country than someone who just made an account and probably never even logged into it? He's the smartest of us all. He took one look at eRepublik and went "Lol, nope" and walked away.


This position was an easy choice. I wanted someone who wasn't too involved in eUSA politics, so I went to a foreign country and found us a Doctor to lead all of our Internal affairs.


For the person coordinating our war efforts, I had a lot of people to choose from. I could have chosen Ugac, or Csongrad but neither of them responded in time for this article. So, while MisziPL wasn't my first choice, one glance at the map shows us that it is a strong choice to lead our nation's military.


Hanibal LA is another easy choice for a media job. His articles were always excellent, though he hasn't posted one in a while, and I can't figure out why.


Siddy, who is totally not an Enemy Spaniard, I promise, is an easy choice to lead our Foreign Affairs department, having the strongest qualification for the job, being Foreign.


He wanted a position in my cabinet and I was willing to provide it. See how accommodating of a WorstPotUS I would be?


Whatever that means, because he's the most dastardly redcoat around.





While I was writing up my Cabinet, I thought up some more campaign promises.

11) Replace the Dioists with those who share my belief that the Snow should be worshiped. That's not to say I will throw the Dioists out, the Snows and the Sands can coexist.


12) Disband the Department of Swag. Self-explanatory.

13) Break at least 4 of my Campaign Promises. Haven't decided which four yet. If I break #13, does that mean I still have to break 3 others?

14) Teach all new players that all words are made up and meaningless without prior knowledge of a given word. This invalidates everything they've ever been told, and completely voids the contents of this article.

15) Play nothing but the first episode of Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

16) Hulk-Smash Denmark, since Romania had so much fun doing it.

17) Use the money I donated to my personal MU to build myself a set of Iron Man armor, complete with functional, life-saving chest magnet.

1😎 Reinforce the American PTO of Canada. I stand with you DMV3!

19) Mortgage my house and purchase ALL OF THE GOLD to become the first Titan ***



That's all for now. Thanks for your attention eAmerica.

Talostastic
Worst PotUS.


If you have any questions or want to join my Cabinet, feel free to text me directly,
(920) 445-8712
Or, you can join my Campaign Channel
PM me directly if you want the campaign channel's actual name.