Yes, Mom, Congress-Critters Really Are Derps!
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by Zheng He
The word of the day is "derp".
Grammatical caveat: In my scientific study of 3 teenagers, I found wide variance in whether "derp" can be used as a noun ("yes," "never," "sometimes"). So the obvious answer is yes.
Back in the day, my bestest friend Astra Kat G decided to go for congress and I decided to learn about the military. Other old fags may remember her deep and informative articles about congress. I started making fun of her by calling her and her compatriots "congress-critters," first in comments on her articles then in my own articles. So now, in my second term my theory that congress-critters deserve a minimum amount of respect has been confirmed. (Except Rainy Sunday, of course, who deserves more respect that the rest of us combined.)
What did we do now?!?!?
In case you missed it, we have a treaty with Spain (The Asturias Accord). Negotiated by President Oblige, discussed to death by Congress, modified per our requests, then approved by Congress, and affirmed by President Artela, this grants us peace with Spain. One of the provisions of the treaty, which Congress approved, is that the USA and Spain will no longer be Natural Enemas. We are now good friends, allowed to date and party together and make babies and stuff. (Well ... at least we're not supposed to kill each other as much.)
So one of new President Artela's first tasks as President was to implement the treaty, starting by declaring we are no longer Natural Enemas. This needs a 2/3 majority to pass ... so any guesses what the derps in Congress did???
Exactly, we voted it down!
To recap:
1) Negotiated by President Oblige
2) Approved by Congress
3) Affirmed by President Artela
4) Step 1: REJECTED by more than 1/3 of the voting Congress-critters
WHY?
Maybe some really didn't want the treaty and hope to subvert if politically. That would be sneaky, underhanded, dirty, and borderline traitorous.
More likely, some didn't know what they were voting for and just thought, in their infinite ignorance, "huh? I like killing Spaniards!".
WHAT NOW?
The proposal will probably be put forth again. And this time, instead of a whip, Fhaemita Malodorous might just use a baseball bat.
And for those who remember Astra Kat G, I got our favorite redhead's response to this CONGRESS FAIL:
Senator Zheng "Jed" He
Best Virginia
Derpy Congress-Critter
Newspaper writer (been there)
Army Officer, CO of the 25th Tropic Lightning Division (done that)
Solder in the Special Forces (doing!)
Colonel 2-clicker (always)
After this mess, my wife and I are taking a well earned vacation at the beach.
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Comments
Needs more facepalm.
Excellent Article; so much for a smooth transition to a post-oblige eGovernment.... perhaps it has something with the mistaken identity surrounding 10 Downing Street.
I blame PtH
Etheris, I still have a few ...
Congress is the opposite of Progress.
I blame the Senator's wife
Most of Congress Derps are truly derptaculous
Not nearly enough facepalm to adequately describe the fail that is congress. Seriously people, keep up with current events.
Astra Kat = awesome!
Triple facepalms = not awesome!
I will officially go on record and say I don't always derp but when I do, I derp like a baws.
Stay thirsty my friends.
Astra Kat was a light in the darkness.
Brilliant.
lol derps
v + s
A metagame (eUSA Forums) vote is not the same as an "in game" vote. Different people ( a superset) are present "in game", and those people who actually give a frak about the metagame usually have different goals than those who don't. To expect for something to pass "in game", because it passed in the metagame is like expecting gravity to be the same on two different planets.
derps agreed.. But who to blame? The previous PotUS who apparently did not make it clear enough to congress. Or Artela who when taking over should of made it a priority to congress how it should be voted upon. Personally, I say both but lay more blame on Oblige as a good president should make the transition as easy as possible for the next one for the sake of the country. But all in all the blame lies with Congress, who if agreed totally fubar'd..
I will make a point to push for the discussion, proposal, and vote to be moved to the public side of the forum. That way all can see how everything was done.
I personally feel a large part of the fail belongs to how the forum did not require a 2/3 vote to pass. This accord achieved 1 vote over 50% on the forum. SO who would have guessed it would not get 2/3 in game.
I did one term in congress, way back when.
I spent the first two weeks figuring everything out, and then I spent the last two weeks waiting for my term to end.
Yeah, there's a big "derp" here. But not the one you're referring to.
By my recollection, the Asturias "Accord" (cease fire, really), passed congress forums with about twenty "yes" votes, maybe less. Under congress forum rules, that's enough for a quorum, and enough to push it out into the actual game, and a formal vote. Even though possibly less than half of congress actually voted, and there was a large vote in forums against (at least in the high teens). At most, only about half of congress even bothered to vote in forum.
Given the lukewarm reception in congress forums, did the backers of this bill actually believe they would be able to achieve the 66% needed to remove Spain as Natural Enemy, and give actual effect to this treaty in-game? To me, this should have been a huge red flag.
You either got the votes, or you don't got 'em.
If anyone should be embarrassed, it should be the people who misread the congressional opposition to this agreement, and forgot to do the math and realize they needed something in the area of 40 votes to pass this bill in game.
😁
Let me spell it out for you:
You can either have peace with Spain and stability for the foreseeable future, or stay at war and face another temporary fourway gangbang. Take your pick. If you haven't noticed, many of your allies ain't willing to fight alongside EDEN no more.
epic
10 facepalms \o/
Maybe a little less forumizing and a little more collective PMsing. I find the in-game messages get better responses among Congressmen. You need the votes of those who don't pay attention to the meta-games, so might as well invite them to one of the conversations.
I miss Astra. She was one of the people in the eUS that had a real brain. ;-;
Jon Barack Bluejacket is right on the money.
you should come to germany, you could write an article like this everyday o7
66% > 50%
In Game > Meta
hmmm....
Voted hard 🙂
I think what this vote shows is that the majority of citizens do not take part in the 'meta game'....
More metta, less meta, please.
Fail happens when I don't get elected...
I am offended. I am not a derp!
Voted
Arrden, embrace your inner derpdom like the rest of us!
what's this? a flaw in the system? IMPOSSIBLE!
:color me shocke😛
Wow...just wow.
rainy sunday
'what's this? a flaw in the system? IMPOSSIBLE!
:color me shocke😛'
...and she isn't easily shocked...
{color} SHOCKED {/color}
LOL
Lesson 1 in understanding politics: The people who understand politics are never in politics.
I don't agree with peace with Spain, but even I (if I were a Congress-critter) would've voted to support it under those circumstances. We have to move the game mechanics in the right direction if a Treaty is negotiated and signed with the consultation of Congress.
Derp indeed.
This really comes down to the gap between the real game and the meta-game.
I registered for the forums solely to carry out my duties as a Congressman, but I've never been a big forum user in this game and that's not going to change. I knew of the proper voting instructions here, but that wasn't from what I read on the forums.
Plugson identified the issue which is we need more communication via PM. FM is doing a great job as a whip but I think this shows a need for some collaboration between who puts the proposal forward and who communicates voting instructions. There should be clear instructions given before a proposal is put forth to avoid the sabotage from the "congress-critters."
Lesson 1 in understanding politics: The people who understand politics are never in politics. +1
and like what Captain Kushskins said
when i was a congressman during a very busy time of my RL i usually open and see a law proposal .... there is no voting instruction (they usually arrive after 6+ hours of when the proposal starts) so if there is no debating area to visit fast and see what they agreed on i just pass on voting ... but see the problem is others don't pass .... and i didn't see any1 asking about that . because if they did they would get trolled by the older congressmen , which is something i think the old congressmen should stop :/
lol
yeah, but it's not finished! The spanish congress voted it down too. Yes, my friends, the spanish congresmen are derps too!
You can add some facepalms too.
How do you say "derp" in Spanish?
@Plugson: I agree with you. but if you try to encourage discussion "in game" among one of Congress' "group message" threads they'll just tell you to take it to the forum, where all the Congress-critters aren't present, and have you removed from future "group messages".
[Discussion] Remove Lysander Spooner from Whip PMs
Ah, okay. Each country has different preferences. The recent lawlessness of eCanada made PM use more flexible, since there has been a loss of confidence in the forums. I had one Congressman expressly say that he did not want to be on my list, yet the others complied and we had some useful in-game PMs.
Congress is a better medium and it should be used for more in-depth planning. However, when it comes to notifying the less active forum users about the purpose of upcoming proposals, it seems to be a useful compromise that will benefit both sides. Discuss in the forum; notify by PM and answer questions.
Lysander, what you describe sounds more like stubborness bordering on passive-aggressive reliance on the forums. People need to be more flexible and let go of the reins they cling to. The game demographic is changing.
>> How do you say "derp" in Spanish?
alcornoque?