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FROM THE DESK OF THE EXECUTIVE SECRETARY:
An Official Report on the Foreign Relations of the Philippines



Asia



That's where we're at. It's a boring, boring place. It is of such boringness that it is with particularly strained effort that I struggle to compose this paragraph. I don't even know if anyone will read this. Sure, you'll probably vote this, but will you actually read this?

Why aren't We Taking Back Visayas and Mindanao from Indonesia



To those of you who a) have been living under a rock, b) are "two"-clickers, c) don't pay attention to the news, d) don't go to the forum/forums/fora/whatever, the reason why the government isn't making any concerted effort to reclaim our Indonesia-occupied regions is because we are renting them to Indonesia.

Indonesia will pay our government 20 GOLD per region per month. As of this writing, our treasury is bound to receive 80 GOLD on the 3rd of July of this year, the agreed-upon date of payment.

This is actually a better deal than we might think, considering that Indonesia could have just grabbed all of our regions without permission, which is exactly what they did about a couple of months ago in their Natural Enemy-crazed stupor.


INDONESIAN SPECIAL FORCES

Oh, this game. I wonder why we keep coming back to this game. They should rename this game to Masochism Online or BBB (Boring Beyond Belief). (Sorry, BBB (Big Boy Bulley (to those newer to the game, BBB was the third president of the Philippines (he was well-respected (I like to find excuses for nesting parentheses)))).)



We all might as well be wearing that T-shirt.

Why did the Taiwan TW (Training War) Get Cancelled


THIS IS EITHER TAIWANESE MILITARY HARDWARE OR BRITISH PETROLEUM HAS THEIR OWN PRIVATE MILITIA

Some time ago, our government was in talks with the Taiwanese government regarding the arrangement of war games.

But, at the time, they were quite preoccupied with their war with the South Koreans (correct me if I'm wrong, I'm probably, the thirteenth-most uninformed foreign minister in eRep right now (don't ask me how I got that number, I just made that up)).

As such they could not commit to the war games, and, here we are, still hoping that they'd just get it over with with SK so that we can have our little war games with each other.



I loved that movie. I'm not that old. I just like old movies. I've once been called an "old soul". But, I don't believe in reincarnation. So, I can't be an old soul, right?
North America

You're still reading this? Wow! I'm impressed. (NOT)

Why Didn't We Renew Our USA MPP



Again, this has to do with the scrapped Taiwan war games and game mechanics. Although, I'm not sure how the game mechanics are supposed to work in this case, really.

But, from what I gather, you can't declare war on another country if the both of you share a common ally (MPP (i.e. USA)). I'm not sure what will happen if you try to do that, but it's probably something bad, like you can lose all your hard-earned GOLD or get perma-banned or something.

Essentially, what happened was Taiwan, at the time (and, really, until now), has/had an MPP with the USA, so we hesitated on renewing the USA MPP, despite the fact that someone from the United States government had already asked one of our people whether we intended to renew, as we had every intention of pursuing the war games.



In the meantime, while having gone for days without an MPP (and therefore without any battles), and still waiting for word from Taiwan on whether the war games were a go, we had to get an MPP besides a USA one, fast.

BTW, we're pretty poor so just one MPP is pretty much only what we can comfortably afford. *sigh*

Nevertheless, while I'm perfectly happy with the other MPP that we got, it is not without regret that I see our USA MPP not being renewed.

For months, the US has accepted our MPP proposals at NO EXTRA COST to us, even though they didn't need our MPP (while we certainly did theirs). I shed manly tears that the USA-PH MPP has been shelved in this most inopportune time for the US.



Of course, that's just my personal sentiment, and in no way represents the position of the Philippine government.

The Embattled USA



Right now, USA is trying to weather an attack on home soil by ONE forces, with Mexico, Hungary, Poland, Spain, and Indonesia at the vanguard.

South America

CARAMBA! I don't know what to say here, so I just put that there.

Apparently, it's Brazil vs. Peru down there.

The Brazil MPP


THE BRAZILIAN FLAG

We now have an MPP with Brazil. Actually, it's our only MPP, and our first with a South American country. I'm quite certain we were able to obtain it at no extra cost, thanks to skillful negotiation by... I'm sorry, I forgot. I'm pretty sure that it's one of our foreign secretaries.

BTW, in behalf of the Philippines, may I express my gratitude to the Brazilian government and people for accepting the alliance.

Europe



As for Europe, the United Kingdom wiped long-time Philippine ally Ireland a few days ago. Austria got one region back from Slovakia.

Hmmm. I guess that's about it. Since, our wars with Indonesia, we haven't been able to send troops to help out our allies in Europe.

Oceania and Africa



Ditto. Australia seems to be able to successfully free some of their regions from Indonesian rule, though


SUSAN AFRICA

Antarctica



I have appointed Hekter as Ambassador of the Philippines to Antarctica. He is currently heading our Antarctica mission. I have not heard from him since.

The DFA

The Department of Foreign Affairs (DFA; informally, MOFA) is a Cabinet-level executive department (or ministry) that is an extension of the the President's role as chief diplomat of the country. As such, it is the task of the DFA to implement and enforce the foreign policy of the Philippines in behalf of the President



The Secretaries of Foreign Affairs

This document is in part a summary of compiled reports from the following foreign ministers:


Slothen
Secretary of Foreign Affairs - Asia


Berritas
Secretary of Foreign Affairs - North America


Aren Perry
Secretary of Foreign Affairs - South America


Requiem Domine
Former Secretary of Foreign Affairs - Europe


Sigurd Aasen
Secretary of Foreign Affairs - Europe, too


Mr. Knoll
Secretary of Foreign Affairs - Oceania and Africa

At this point, I would just like to say that Mr. Knoll's avatar is so win.

Conclusion

I don't know how to conclude this report. (President) indie just told me to make one.

Signed,

Swagger McSwag
Executive Secretary
Cabinet of the Philippines
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June 27, 2011