Top Intel Officer is Promoted to Exec Amid Sex Scandal

Day 1,156, 04:40 • Published in USA USA • by Cavalry Public Affairs


Dateline: Wednesday January 19 (Day 1156)
Location: Fort Huachuca, Arizona
Reporter: Captain George Armstrong "Old Man" Custer


This is the second in a series, if you haven't seen the previous edition you might want to start there.

Lieutenant General Avruch steps up

As of Sunday 16 Jan Colonel Avruch assumed the position of Cavalry Executive Officer, and was promoted to the rank of Lieutenant General.
HQ Staff joins Regimental Staff, Scouts and Troopers to congratulate LTG Avruch on this promotion.


Major Avruch, sometime between 1860 and 1865

LTG Avruch was extremely gracious in granting me an interview last night.
Also fairly generous in letting me live afterward.

Custer: Let's start with a bit of background, General. How about a little timeline, starting with when you joined the Cavalry?
Avruch: I joined Cav in May 2010, straight into Ranger School, led Ranger School as an instructor for several weeks, eventually became Ranger XO when Gannonus became General, then CO when Ethix became LTG, then CO of 11th when Rangers was deactivated.
Custer: That's some pretty fast advancement, from Cavalry recruit to Lieutenant General, second in command, in only seven months.
Avruch: Every recruit has the same opportunities to advance. If a soldier applies himself, volunteers to cover Platoon Leader when their CO goes on leave of Absence or helps with Quartermaster duty or even writes articles for the Saber, they're recognized and rewarded for their efforts. There's no extra pay for the extra work, but the stripes add up to brass, and that sure looks sharp on the avatar.

Custer: I understand you did a bit more with the Cavalry Rangers than serve in the ranks.
Avruch: In v2 I turned it into a training program for battle leaders, using map tactics and that sort of thing, but after v2 it was dissolved.
Custer: I see fellas sporting the Rangers tab on their avatars.. must be a sentimental, or a status thing.
Avruch: I think it's just folks who are alumni of the old Rangers program in Cav, and current folks in the Army Ranger unit. Once a Ranger, though, always a Ranger-- it's an accomplishment to be proud of. You see I still display my Rangers patch!

Custer: And Intel..? Where did that come into the picture?
Avruch: During most of that time I was also S-2, and yeah, last week I blackmailed my way to XO of Cavalry.
Custer: I definitely want to address that matter.. but as an old Intel man, myself, I'm interested to know what got you into in that line of work.
Avruch: I joined S-2 because AzzHole needed some help, and I thought it was a good way to get more involved. He retired last... July or August? And I've been doing it solo since, although this past week we recruited Andy Costello to train in S-2.
Custer: I know S-2's primary MOD is intake processing. I know from experience how great it feels to see soldiers I approved move along in the ranks, but the real fun is in investigating multis.
Avruch: Between processing applicants, which as you know entails a thorough background investigation, it's fun to kill time multi hunting. There's definitely a sense of satisfaction when you bust a cheater out of the game. It's a handy past-time.

Custer: As Exec you really need to drop being Senior S-2 so you can better oversee all the Staff and Regiments. During my last few months in the old "whole Army" I wore too many hats.. it burnt me out.
Avruch: Yeah, I probably will at some point... we'll see how things shake out. I expect Andy will take S-2 training very well, and we just completed a series of interviews with candidates to take over CO of the 11th. We have a great management team in the Senior Staff, every one of us has stepped in to help each other in times of work overload or short deadlines.

Custer: So, about being the new Exec... obviously you didn't earn the job, but now that you have it do you have any plans other than stickin' a shiv in Ralphy one dark night?
Avruch: I think Cav is in pretty good shape generally, and for the time being I'll need General RNP to help keep it that way, particularly if the new era in alliances ends up causing a lot more conflict. I intend to continue working with General RNP and the other officers to develop fun programs to promote recruitment and retention.

Custer: Okay, let's get back to that little matter of blackmail. As I reported in the Ethix article, you abused your power as Senior Intel man to obtain an apparently incriminating photo of the former eRep counselor, Carla, in a state of impending motherhood. Your claim that Ethix is responsible for that was a major factor in his resignation as Executive Officer.
Avruch: Well, my sources were the same investigators who found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq prior to our invasion of that sovereign nation. Since then, however, new information has come to light which may absolve LTG Ethix of that charge.
Custer: Why am I not surprised. So what rabbit are you pulling out of your hat now?
Avruch: Let's just say that a picture is worth a thousand words. Have a look at this:


Ctrl+Click to see the baby up close

Custer: Holy crap!
Avruch: Yes, Custer.. Holy crap. Sorry, Ethix, it looks like you haven't been Carla's one true love after all. Early Tuesday morning Carla gave birth to a baby boy, born with a full rack of ribbons and a resume as long as your friggin' arm! I've formed a Special Hard Intel Taskforce (S.H.I.T.) to determine the identity of this scoundrel and have him brought to justice.

Custer: I must say, General Avruch, you are a real piece of work.
Avruch: Shut the fu*k up, Custer.

Cavalry Senior Officers declined comment, no doubt fearing for their own careers and possibly their very lives.




Read & Vote Up the Daily Civilian Orders (DoD) every day!

Click on the Image to Apply to the US Cavalry today!



Captain George Armstrong Custer
US Cavalry Public Affairs (S-5) Senior
:::
Personal Note, not Cavalry business:
Please also see today's Custer's Stand, a rebuttal to outrageous accusations made against me by the MoFA of Switzerland.
:::