A Vote For Ryan Neufeld Is A Vote For.... Iron Man????

Day 854, 19:22 • Published in Australia Australia • by Ryan Neufeld

My fellow eAustralians the time is approaching again for us to elect a new senate. This time however our glorious country sits on the brink of potential annihilation by our nemesis’ Indonesia, and Brazil.

Tasmanians I have served as your senator for 1 term now and with the crisis we are facing I believe it is time to relieve Tony Stark of the burden I have made him bare all these months and reveal to you that I, Ryan Neufeld, am the real Iron Man.

If you re-elect me as your senator I will have the power to make the following upgrades to my already lethal Iron Man suit:

- Banana Bread Bombs: I don’t know about you but every time I slaughter thousands of Brazilians I wish I could make something useful out of their wasted lives, so now every time I destroy a Brazilian it will produce a loaf of banana bread helping to feed our citizens.


If you like my guns then you'll love my rocket, ahaha you see what I did there... ah nevermind

- Chan-dar: A radar like system that detects possible channer activity and immediately puts into question any suspicious person’s sexual orientation.

- Indonyte Gauntlets: That’s right fists made of Indonyte… the most feared substance identified by Indonesians known to turn back even the most effeminate of Indonesians.


Anything not made of bamboo would scare me if I was Indonesian....

And finally my greatest upgrade known to date that can only be made possible with your help…

- Mk. I BAWS Reactor: When I was on an archaeological dig in Antarctica with the most interesting man in the world we discovered a blast crater containing what we believe to be the skeletal remains of the most feared man of all time, one Chuck Norris. We are unsure how it got there but fear not carbon dating places the remains 100 million years into the future. With the power of a senator I will be just strong enough to pulverize his bones and turn them into a new reactor so strong that when equipped if I get an erection it makes the same sound as a light saber.


The plans for the Mk. I BAWS Reactor are so deadly that I have to look at them using a hologram or else my brain might become one with the universe and ascend to a higher plain of being...

eTasmanians a vote for me a vote for the defense of our nation and the destruction of our enemies. My fan club comprised of these smoking hot babes are voting for me and so should you.



Ryan Neufeld
2nd in Command Crimson Devils