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100 Bitter Things

Day 1,105, 21:39 by Lemon Party Canada


"I don't care. I'll form my own group. Rejection from society is what created the X-Men."
--Liz Lemon on 30 Rock



The Lemon Party is pleased to present you with a compilation of 100 bitter things that have shown eCanada to be a sour nation. We would like to thank our contributors for sharing what has left a bad taste in their mouth over these many months: Gherk, Dominik, Plugson, Captain Kushskins, saltydog, EliteChaos112 (rest his recently permabanned soul/souls), and others who would probably prefer not be mentioned.

& o7 those who have inspired the acerbic potential of eCanada.



Bitter About Finance

1. 13 Businesses, 5 Orgs, 1075 Gold, and 63,000 CAD to Rolo Tahmasee
2. 35,000 CAD to The Evil One
3. 50,000 CAD for the Ministry of Finance
4. 2600 Gold kept warm by nea milosu
5. An overly-charitable, free TemujinBC
6. 666 CAD for PimpDollaz
(and a partridge in a pear tree)


Bitter About Nostalgia

7. People abuse the name of the dead to advance their own interests, and our martyrs are self-crucified.
8. Knowing that eventually the players you respect will either be smeared or proven
9. “England Prevails!”
10. Penguin Comics now have too many words in them.
11. Most of the drama is navel-gazing, an attempt to gain attention for oneself without actually advancing a political ideal. AB was the last person to do something constructive out of destructive behaviour.
12. That sensible female players like Dycey, K Mahoney, and Stelawrat tend to get fed up and pull back.
13. Anti-intellectualism is spreading across eCanada
14. Our heroes always let us down in the end. 1ronman makes people cry, Plugson plagiarizes from deviantart, and saltydog's not really Korean.
15. People who obsess over the past, especially prominent eCanadian citizens that have left us long ago.
16. Washed-up players that keep quitting but come back every time, taking away a little more from their former glory.
17. Adam Sutler died before I could have his babies.
18. A lack of Kelly Mahoney
19. the people who try to sound popular by namedropping others


Bitter About Politics

20. The DAL abandoning its principles
21. eCanada's way of governing is anything BUT transparent.
22. Censorship
23. There's a liberal fascist oligarchy bringing us all down.
24. People jump between moral absolutism and moral relativism on impulsive whims, depending on which is more beneficial to them in the situation.
25. I don't know who screws us over more, admin or the government.
26. Charity organizations for the sake of gaining voters
27. Spencer Magee is back in congress
28. Nobody has a damn conscience unless it will earn them votes.
29. Inactive congress members getting voted back in; active ones getting left out
30. The ‘forever or never’ process of passing new bills and amendments like the new player welcoming message
31. Lack of features in the game. Needs varying political systems mainly.
32. There is hardly any moving up in that country. If you join late like I did, just about a month ago, then you really have no chance of becoming a congressman or CP unless you become friends with powerful people and/or are associated with parties like the DAL.
33. The hardcore partisans who can't see past their own party affiliation
34. The fakes, snakes, wieners and whiners


Bitter About Manners

35. Anonymous attack ads
36. Over-used film motifs
37. A noob nation
38. Everyone is out for their own specific goals and don't really care about eCanada and her place in the world
39. People who play practical jokes.
40. People with no sense of humour.
41. You're all a bunch of jerks.
42. Difficulty trusting people with shared ownership of an organization
43. Watching people proclaim that "it's the community that keeps me coming back"
44. Not enough value is placed on earnest contributions to the community; more attention is paid to misdeeds than good ones, and we crap on peoples hard work.
45. This place is more of a schoolyard cat-fight simulation than a political economy simulation. We can't do things without resorting to mud-slinging and pettiness.
46. Watching people ragequit, then try to reframe it as if they were "only taking a break"
47. The bastardization of the term "roleplay" (as if we're not all roleplaying, you dummies)


Bitter About Conformity?

48. Bitter loves company
49. ~lemu~
50. People not listening to the people that matter like saltydog.
51. Winter in Canada
52. A diet high in sodium.
53. Rambling lists without any apparent order or coherence.
54. Team Beta Keys
55. Bitterness trumps saltiness
56. We act like a bunch of personality disordered teenagers.
57. Inflation
58. Long Sabre Rattling without wearing proper protection
59. People are dishonest and ruthless towards each other.
60. The overuse and misuse of "it's just a game" to justify failures, mistakes and wrongdoing
61. People who spend hours plotting to achieve in the game, then claim "I don't really care" when things don't go their way
62. The triumph of friends and connections over good ideas the sensitive people who back down from finding the truth because it might cause conflict
63. the snakes who take advantage of the people who avoid conflict in order to obscure the truth
64. all the SHEEP


Bitter About Rankings

65. The influx of teabaggers into Canada
66. Censorship
67. Losing our highest ranked player to another country
68. Not getting rid of our highest ranked player sooner
69. The population only increases if people do make multiple accounts, since eCanada has one of the lowest rates of fertile eMarriages


Bitter About Media

70. A severe decline in bikini jpegs for articles
71. Single picture articles
72. Nosyt outright cursing at admins in a comment : 0
73. ‘fer the lulz’ is so commonplace that people are losing their patience with ‘funny’
74. Censorship
75. Why am I even reading this? : (
76. Articles with great ideas but not short enough to get votes or comments
77. One picture articles in the Top 5
78. Lack of an intelligent media.
79. The media rant on and on about how bad the admins are, which may be true but I could care less, it is just a GAME!
80. We don’t laugh at things together anymore; people always think humour is at someone’s expense.
81. A lack of knowing who the enemy is now that they no longer publish articles here
82. A lack of feeling connected to EDEN now that they no longer publish articles here at all
83. Watching people who can't even spell correctly form "journalistic excellence" groups
84. Watching those journalism groups act as cliques of friends instead of anything of substance


Bitter About Clarity

85. There is very little enforcement of removing multis
86. No ‘Official Record of Blacklisted Players’
87. Lack of centralised information.
88. TCOvsCAFvsLSRvsProjectMayhemvsCOGvsCOBRAvseCanada
89. Recent concern about the efficiency of the CAF


Bitter About Externality

90. Distrust in the security of the eCanada Forums for private messages
91. Where did all my forum CAD go!?!
92. IRC banning and those who complain about it
93. Admins (both eRep and forum) simply don't give a sh*t.
94. The fact that this game really is for people short on interpersonal attention in real life


Bitter About The Game

95. The limitations of a Top-5 party voting system.
96. Censorship
97. Dead buddies on your friends list
98. Food prices are too high
99. Lack of a "GTFO" feature for party presidents to manage membership
100. The lack of any real forward development in this game



Cooking is a contrast of tastes. It’s all about a balance of the salty with the sweet, the savoury with the spicy, the bland with the bitter.” – Chef Plugson

With that in mind....3 things that would make eCanada a shweet place to be:

1) Moar war; less Phoenix!
2) Moar economy; less taxes.
3) Moar water under the bridge; less long-term memory.

There are probably dozens of other things that could make eCanada a ‘sweet’ place. Feel free to add your ‘sweet thangs’ because we already got plenty of the acerbic stuff. Of course, we can’t stop you from commenting with your own list of bitter things. I'll tell you my 5 favourite bitter things, if you show me yours.

 

Comments

Plugson
Plugson Day 1,105, 22:05

There’s a fine line between catharsis and belly-aching. It’s all a matter of what you can stomach.
Here’s a little sugar to help the bitter medicine go down:
3 moar sweet things about eCanada:
1) Never a dull moment
2) “ And we can break through, Though torn in two we can be as one
3) If we can survive what we put ourselves through, Phoenix ain’t got nothing on us.


Kronos Q
Kronos Q Day 1,105, 22:17

I was going to quote one of these items, because I thought it quite true, but as I read on, there became too many to quote.

101. Lack of effort at player retention.
102. Lack of effort at sincerely helping new players, with no strings attached.

saltydog
saltydog Day 1,105, 22:29

IT'S JUST A GAME, BRO
derrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

TemujinBC
TemujinBC Day 1,105, 22:34

Vote me on Dec 5. Things change.

Lord of Painkillers
Lord of Painkillers Day 1,105, 22:45

so as im reading this i see "Bitter about the game" I LOST THE GAME!

Wilhelm Gunter
Wilhelm Gunter Day 1,106, 23:01

#99 strikes a chord with me...

James Wiens
James Wiens Day 1,106, 23:08

47! That's been really getting to me lately. I enjoyed the read and subscribed!

Joe Wood
Joe Wood Day 1,106, 23:39

LMAO "penguin comics have too many words in them"

only atoms
only atoms Day 1,106, 00:38

Yay, I'm clean!

Chochi
Chochi Day 1,106, 02:24

How could you forget lemons?

Dr.Pain
Dr.Pain Day 1,106, 02:42

101. I am too damn lazy.

Lord Penguin
Lord Penguin Day 1,106, 02:44

Fer #10

What you mean my CP platforms, you do realize that as soon as this election is over I'm going back to my comics.

Scorpius
Scorpius Day 1,106, 03:54

it is so ridiculously obvious which ones of these are by Dominik, hehehehehehe

Shere Richard Parker
Shere Richard Parker Day 1,106, 04:01

Nicely done Lemon Party

Chucky Norris
Chucky Norris Day 1,106, 04:38

2. 35,000 CAD to The Evil One

That's coming from Plugson I'm sure!

There is one that piss me off thought that wasn't in the list

#101 People buying vote and spamming our media with article that have absolutely nothing to do in the top 5

George Beeman
George Beeman Day 1,106, 04:59

#101 Admins. Nuff said.

Dell Fargus
Dell Fargus Day 1,106, 05:47

Good show!

Nosyt
Nosyt Day 1,106, 07:26

~lemu~
Very nice

KIPPERS OF THE MUD
KIPPERS OF THE MUD Day 1,106, 07:43

69. The population only increases if people do make multiple accounts, since eCanada has one of the lowest rates of fertile eMarriages


Oh, the stone cold truth.

Rigour6
Rigour6 Day 1,106, 07:51

Superb Effort. If this is the shape of things to come, I need a subscription.

As luck would have it I appear to be #100, one for each bitter thing.

Kazuo Leblanc
Kazuo Leblanc Day 1,106, 08:16

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Stelawrat
Stelawrat Day 1,106, 08:20

Amazingly I am #101. I say amazingly because I see 101 bitter things in your great list:

# 62. and 62a., quietly tagged on, as though in deference to those people it describes. The significance of that number drew me to this: http://www.noao.edu/outreach/aop/observers/m101.html

which in turn drew me to my all-time favourite video set to the greatness of Pink Floyd: http://youtu.be/c7xj8xikyD8

Also, #12., not speaking for Dycey or Kelly now, “pull back?” Not me eh? No matter how long, I just turn the music up a little louder, shut my eyes real tight, grit my teeth, dig my nails in deeper, wrap my le

----!
What?

---- --- --- ---!!
I see... nvm.....

#17 x 2

eCanada is like that miraculous galaxy. While some of the stars have died, many continue to shine, leading the way for those who are just starting to sparkle.

A sweet place? Yes, because of superstars like:
Jacobi, whose knowledge of and dedication to strengthening the political foundations of eCanada is legendary.
Addy, whose knowledge of and dedication to disecting the vagaries of eCanada's economy is legendary.
Chucky, whose knowledge of and dedication to serving the ever present demands of eCanada and her allies' military demands is legendary.

These are players that have gone the distance and then some, to act in the best interests of eCanada. They may be unusually quiet sometimes, ok not Chucky, but you know they are there, observing and taking it all in, ready to send off a burst at any time.

These are three of the players that struck me, very early on in the game, when I started. Since then, I've spotted many, many stars among you. The potential will always be there, just as in the galaxy.

You only have to beware of gaseous explosions!

George Kirk
George Kirk Day 1,106, 09:12

# 75 LOL

Acacia Mason
Acacia Mason Day 1,106, 10:10

#77

Been saying that for a LOOOOOOONG time now HAHA

Chucky Norris
Chucky Norris Day 1,106, 11:29

Thank you for this comment stelawrat, it's touching me greatly!

Narn1an
Narn1an Day 1,106, 12:15

7b - our self-crucified martyrs - that's deep - lets face it we've all got a bit of that in us

Moo Zerkaboodle
Moo Zerkaboodle Day 1,106, 13:23

Lol Censorship 4 times... So true, so true

Onyemere Nwachukwu Day 1,106, 14:47

Comment deleted

BelatedDeath
BelatedDeath Day 1,106, 14:59

#56- I for one am a personality deformed teenager

AugustusV
AugustusV Day 1,106, 16:17

If you're still playing this game but not one of the 100 things there applies to you.... why are you still playing? Lol

Muglack
Muglack Day 1,106, 21:02

"18. A lack of Kelly Mahoney"

I always thought there was WAY too much Kelly Mahoney.

Dominik
Dominik Day 1,106, 22:17

"it is so ridiculously obvious which ones of these are by Dominik, hehehehehehe "


Oh, yeah? Which ones, Mr. Intellectually Superior?

M. Loiselle
M. Loiselle Day 1,106, 22:23

Once more, voted for daaamn thruth!

Amen!

PimpDollaz
PimpDollaz Day 1,107, 01:14

who wrote this crap?

Plugson
Plugson Day 1,107, 15:26

As the first paragraph states, it was a colloborative effort, but I'll claim credit for adding #6.

JoeDubs
JoeDubs Day 1,107, 15:27

I can't believe I read the whole thing...

Nosyt
Nosyt Day 1,438, 21:36

Well hello. If you're here for the clue, it's not here!











































Ok I joke. With some further adieu, here is clue #5































The vast majority of eCanadians you will find are male. This makes the females who play the game a little more distinctive. The girls of eCanada are often well known individuals who contribute in their own special way to the community. Kelly Mahoney who's pure awesomeness once resulted in a top 5 political party being rebranded as "The Kelly Mahoney Fan-Club". Coda, who is the longest serving general of the CAF to date, or maybe Frankypicoto who was a respected congresswomen who eventually became the speaker of the house. All of these individuals were active in the media, but one of the girls of eCanada only began writing after 2 years of playing erepublik, and seldom published after that. Despite this she is still well known and admired by many eCanadians, but particularly those of us in the CAF or TCO. You'll find clue #6 in her debut article.

 
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