~~~ Yiddish humor ~~~

Day 2,608, 08:42 • Published in Israel Israel • by Yankel Edelmann


Well, for the time being eIsrael is under occupation, as we liberate it slowly after an agreement with the eCypriot government., what else can we do? It's a part of the Jewish spirit to laugh in times of misfortune. So here are some old Euro-Jewish jokes.

Two Jews talk to each other. "Oy vey gevalt! (Oh what a disaster)" moans the first. "Oy vey mishugene menshn (Oh what crazy people)" moans the second. "Shmuel.. let's quit discussing politics"

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What gave Jews to the World?
Moses - The Law
Jesus - Christian love
Marx - Social justice
Bergson - consciousness
Freud - subconsciousness
Then Einstein came and said everything is relative...

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During an earthquake, two Jews got spilled in their basement. When the rescuers reached them they hit the wall with a hammer. "Who is there??" one of the Jews wanted to know". "The Red Cross!" came the answer. "But we already donated this year!"

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A merchant returns after a long journey and finds out that his best friend died. He visits his grave and reads his tombstone: "Here lies Henoch Gutman, a virtuous man and a hones merchant". The merchants looks in a daze and shouts "Poor Henoch!!! Burried with two strangers!"

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Two Jews had a quarrel and asked the Rabbi for help. The Rabbi listened to the first one and said "You're right!", then he listened to the second one and said "You're right!". Then, his wife getting angry after seeing what her husband does asks "How can you prove both sides right!?!?! Either one side or the other side is right!". The Rabbi answers "You're right!"

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A catholic priest asks a Rabbi "Rabbi, when will you eat a pork steak with me?". The Rabbi answered "Padre, on your wedding day".

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A Goy asks a Jew "Why do Jews always answer a question with a counterquestion?" The Jew replies "How else should they answer?"

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One Jew is a merchant. Two Jews are a synagogue. Three Jews are an international Zionistic spy organization.

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Rosenblum Jr. gets baptized. A friend asks father Rosenblum "What bad luck!!! What will you tell G-d when He will ask you about the baptism of you son?!?" - "Well, I'll ask Him about His sons'"

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