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Hello Feds,

My name is WookyJack and I want to be your August 2014 Party President.

Mrawesome3412 recently wanted to know what I thought was the funniest moment in erepublik. I can definitely think of a couple things like GF Day or when Max McFarland PTO’d the USWP (or APP...or both? i can’t remember), but when a certain citizen came around named chickensguys I had a great time trolling him. Why was I trolling him? Many of us thought he was an RGR (pthut) multi and the guy was making the most outrageous comments and claims and news articles that were incredibly laughable. It seemed almost a joke. Initially, the guy had an avatar of a cowboy with a cow on a leash or some farm animal. Long story short, I published a glorious article poking fun about confirmed horse penetration and how he failed to run as Party President because he won a treasure map that only awarded him 1.99 gold. (Back in the day it cost 2 gold to run for PP and he really did fail to run after he did a campaign of articles). Around March 2014 this year he returned to eUSA and posed as the eUSA IES director on IRC, and tricked a congress member to give him eUSA CS again. To taunt him once again, I made another troll article which he subsequently reported it and my other older troll articles about him. I received 3 Forfeit Points. This made me lol. He sent me messages yelling about not wanting to fight with me and that he didn’t want to have to do that to me. I thought it was hilarious. My trolling was a success.

It amazes me that guy still plays this game. But I re-looked at what this game had to offer to keep such a guy like that interested. His pure enjoyment comes from causing mayhem, apparently while TRYING to show empathy to other citizens. Basically, he is strange dude. However, erepublik has kept this guy around longer than I ever lasted. There is a key ingredient in this discovery that I will elaborate further upon later.

I initially played as a Greek citizen named GreekHoplite. The guy who invited me is still in my friends list. When I joined the game I tried to get involved with the community, but unfortunately, no speaka da Greek. So I applied for eUSA citizenship. Eventually I was approved by Emmanuel Cruise on 30 November 2009. I joined the USWP and became friends with Fionia and some other prominent citizens in that party. Eventually I got more involved with the USWP Militia and have fun interacting with those folks. I really miss sunnygyrl. She was my eSister during those times. As the USWP wrestled with the Feds, SEES, UIP and the AAP I grew jaded with the game as erepublik v2 was released. Battle tiles...they were atrocious imo.

Soon I went into full troll mode, was dishonorably discharged from the Airborne (lol), joined SEES and the shenanigans commenced from there. I don’t even remember the last day I played or if I even wrote a quit article because when I rebooted this account in February 2014 there was no rage quit article, just a ton of moving tickets and some cc. Anyways, since I have been back I have joined the Federalist Party because I have a crush on Zoey, joined SHIELD MU to revitalize the Fed Militia and met some great people along the way.

For the next few days, I will be vying for your confidence, demonstrating that I can be your Federalist Party President. There have been a great many leaders here and my objective is to fulfill this prestigious honor and grab this mob by the tits and lead them onward and forward (aka, not f*ck it up). Hopefully we’ll have a shitton of fun along the way, too!

MMMMM Dat Staff:

You will notice there will be a blend of old Feds and some relatively new players below. The Federalist Party is predicated on being newb-centric, mainly spearheaded by its lover for life: Fingerguns. Even though she now resides in eRetirement, she encapsulated the ideology, and always did her damn hardest to ensure eBabies were given a bright future. My goal is to maintain this, as well as retain unity and love with the older Feds who have a proven, demonstrative, conciliatory and resolute tenure of P/H. These Federalist-Titans are just as important as the newbs. Their investment to the party defines the continuation as the number 1 party in eUSA.

BamaBettie* will be my Vice Party President. I mean, it only makes sense because she is the Queen of HAMMERS and SHIELD; and a man needs a strong female influence by his side. Lets face it, behind every great man in history there stands a woman. Amirite? I know she will be a guiding light through this campaign and if we win she plans to throw a party with her eBrother nickbergman. If we win she will be Queen of the Feds. Would you deny her lordship a throne?

nickbergman* will retain his position as Director of Fed Propaganda. This is the voice, the unbridled cacophony of P/H that cannot be silenced. He and his staff will continue to deliver their package of competence, consistency, excitement and entertainment that will leave you browbeaten and bruised until you have so much news you’ll quit watching CNN. I am very happy to keep him on board. And also very damn PROUD because he was once my Deputy of Media. *tear*

Apollo221 will be Chief of Staff. He may be a quiet guy, but there is a Wizard to this Oz and the Fed party has no cowardly Lion; just heart and brains. Apollo contains heart and brains. He has experience with the Federalist party for about a year now, is an ex-PP and this dude must be my brother from another mother because his thinking is like my thinking and if I continue to type this sentence he’ll finish it himself if I let him. But seriously, Apollo is the kind of guy I would expect to be my wingman in a fight, my drinking buddy (when he’s officially 21 ofc) and the teammate I can rely upon when I need help. I am glad he will be here with me.

Eli will be President of the kittens. If you don’t know what that is then you need some Fed History. Eli is a pretty old Fed. He’ll set you straight you little whipper snappers! I am glad to have his experience on speed dial.

Mazzy Cat will retain her position as Treasurer of the Federalist Budget Office (FBO) and also now be the Ambassador of LolCats. She’ll let us know if we have teh monies and nude cats. Plus, I fill her storage and she enjoys that. So it will be a great working relationship despite my inability to maths.

Alexander_Auctoritas has taken the initiative to create with a few others the Congress Critter School. This can be found on the Federalist Forum here. I have asked him to be my Political Director. His love and dedication to the new school of Congress Critters fully emulates what it means to be a Federalist: take a new player under his wing and teach him the ropes.

Evil Elvis and Melissa Rose are the God and Goddess of the Federalist Forum. A Party President cannot have a team of more dedication, love and honor than these two individuals. I know it has to be scary to turn the reigns of a eLife-long investment to a new guy like me, but hopefully I can show them that their patience, knowledge and guidance will prove beneficial to the entire party. They have signed on to be the FBI Department.

Scott Coyle* will be my Director of Fun and Retention. In the time I have gotten to know Scott I know he is reliable, outgoing, and trustworthy of a position that will continue ongoing forum excitement as well as create a friendly camaraderie amongst Feds. CuppyCakeYums, a man I would trust with the SHIELD MU, will serve as his Deputy of Fun.

Leo.TheDamager* will be my Director of Recruitment. He has performed phenomenally as a SHIELD Quartermaster and MEPS Officer. I have no doubt his tenacity and enthusiasm will be a driving force into creating an enticing atmosphere for players who are not yet Federalists.

Kevin Sheridan is one of the newest Federalists and Agents of SHIELD. Currently he is Deputy to BamaBettie in SHIELD and has shown consistent, clear and accurate reporting for the Feds’ MU. He will be my FedEx Director and ensure all communication with Federalist Party members is informative and necessary news.

Advisors: I wouldn’t dare approach this run for a campaign without listing a group of individuals who have been Party Presidents themselves or have extensive knowledge on national priorities/relations.
So far I will seek guidance and constructive criticism from: Tyler Bubblar, Civil Anarchy, Mr. Swagg, Molly Emma, crashthompson, Trekker Tlumac, twisted-pixel and of course, Fingerguns.