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Afternoon lads o7,

Alas it’s that time of the month again where mongress is divvied up between the major political parties and their miscellaneous allies and satrapies. It appears, however, our randomly chosen friends in ESO have forgotten to send their candidates over 😛. Thus I am proud to present a pureblood UKRP list, one that more or less satisfies the definition of ‘heavy’ further than its originally intended respect…

Want to eventually find yourself on one of these lists…? Join UKRP!



UKRP Mongressional Stormtroopers



For narrative purposes we’re going to have to assume that in this particular multiverse it is logically acceptable for a Wookie to also be employed as a ‘stormtrooper’. This is not because it’s simply ‘a’ Wookie – but THE Wookie! A stalwart of the community, professional darts champion and part time pimp, there’s only room for one Wookie in this society and it’s at the top of our list.



Is it a Boat, or is it the ‘Chair’? Its both! Our seaworthy Speaker comes in a close second, suspiciously sunk from his designated top spot by what appeared to be a brown furry submarine with a hammer and several hull-piercing nails. Irrespective of this obvious act of sabotage – Boaty remains arguably the most proactive MP, whether it’s from the bottom of the ocean or the Speaker’s Chair.



I’m unsure why we even run this guy, he barely turns up for votes (usually throwing up on those he does attend), passing wind from the suitably named dispatch box before passing out in the Speaker’s chair for the night. No committee is safe from his rampaging alcoholism and outright jingoism…



A recent convert from the backwaters of ‘somewhere else’, Frix has shown his new allegiance to civilisation and order by ruining a decent Greek statue of what I assume is John Prescott. No doubt his chief irreverence towards the glories of the constitutional system will be served well as we quietly club him over the head and replace him with a dapper multi.



A dangerous PTO’er, Dave has declared war on the Papacy of Popovic and has been declared a traitor and coward by the World Health Organisation. Such belligerency has been recognised and rewarded here in UKRP, and in addition to giving him music royalties over Tchaikovsky’s 2nd we’ve also reserved him a middle rank on our mongress list. Such charity, such UKRP.



A token newfag, Gurkha has already demonstrated he has the common sense and independent thought necessary to formally become a ‘big boy’ and thus earn a space in my memory as someone other than ‘that new bloke’. He is now formally ‘that bloke’. Congrats Gurkha! May that bloke serve us proud and well in the great arena known as mongress…



A token oldfag, Kapten has exported the UKRP spirit, sobered up, and come back for a re-dose. Always makes a decent contribution to the discussion on foreign affairs, given alliance politics will be the main item on the agenda it makes a lot of sense to lend him your vote this election :3. UKRP always stood for experience and Kapten more than reinforces it



Another relatively recent convert to the UKRP cause, Popovic has seen the light and humbly wishes the opportunity to serve and protect it. You, dear reader, can give popovic that chance, you can rewrite the course of history (again) and allow Popovic his traditional seat of reason in the Commons…



Another fellow oldfag, Schmidt has stuck by the party since times immemorial and has decided he’d like a punt at winding up the lesser parties in parliament again. A worthy cause if ever there was one 😛



Making up the Rearguard is Gali, who specifically asked NOT to be let into Mongress this month. Obviously, if he doesn’t want it then we’re obliged to try very hard indeed to get him in anyway. I mean, what could a mad Viking who almost certainly is on mind-altering drugs NOT have to contribute to the great forum of the nation….?

So ye, vote UKRP! 😃