[SCANDALOUS]: AN INTERVIEW WITH PRESIDENT BOHEMOTH

Day 2,164, 14:07 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Citizen 4945322
EXCLUSIVE: AN INTERVIEW WITH PRESIDENT BOHRING
Mr President sir, I must ask you. Ant infestation has become a major problem in our great nation. What is you least favourite type of ant?
My least favourite type of ant are the giant ones which dominate and rule by terror, trolling and spreading falsehoods. stealing pensioner's picnics and defying my all-mighty boot.


Giant ants, most recently spotted in Ireland, have been seen again in the UK

Secondly, you may have read in our last issue of the sad passing of ex-President Talon Karrde. Have you anything to say about the sad passing of former President Talon Karrde, who was found dead in a ladies toilet?
The passing of Talon Karrde is a great tragedy. The glorious leader of our nation should have been President for life, however despite his ignoble end we have interred him in the Hall of Heroes alongside such leaders known to us as Malta.


President Niels Bohremod tearfully reminisces the life of former President Talon Karrde.

There was recently a fracas in the tabloids recently over the allegations that members of congress were receiving a wage to vote. Have you anything to say over this?
Frankly, the disruption of the independence of the Judiciary is a shocking mockery of our system! Oh, wait. Umm, Parliament? Oh yea, I suppose I am...should I be angry?

*At this point President Cardboard Bohxemod calls his PR agent, a Mr M. W. Cerberus. An angry conversation ensues.

My PR agent says I am only allowed to say LOL.

There has been allegations that education minister Wes Lewis was forced to resign due to calling a prominent member of the society a W*nker. Your thoughts?
Complete lies, there was no forcing of him out. It was a friendly parting!
There is reports that Wes referred to prominent local dentist Wayne Kerr as a W*nker! YES OR NO?
Oh, Wayne? Then in that case, yes. Yes he did. Wayne is a wanker. A tear comes to the President's eye. And Wes was an abusive maple syrup drinker! Who hit me once, and I told my mummy, and she talked with Mrs Lewis, and Wes wasn't allowed outside, and I hate him!

Wookie Immigration has become a major problem in the UK. How do you plan on combating this problem?
There is only one way to go by this. Shampoo, Razors and Stormtroopers.


Former CP WookieO models for SCANDALOUS.

With the rise in numbers of both Wookies and Giant Ants in the UK, will you lead an army of humans against them before they exterminate us?
I REFUSE TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

*President Dive-Bohmbehod at this point stormed out, revealing his true identity. For he is actually a Giant, terrorising Ant! We are Overtaken. Join the human resistance! Fight our Ant and Wookie overseers! Its Not Too Late! Aaaaargh!

Assimilate!

This was a real interview, conducted in #eWoldy.