Hello fellow eAmericans,
It has been a while since I’ve run for congress and bothered to write an article campaigning for it, but since I feel the need to feel the fun it used to be, I decided to go along with it. A part of this article will be mostly humorous and fun before I get into the serious business.
So now comes the question, why should you run Dr Luis Sentieiro for congress? I will give you a few strong reasons to do so!
1. I’ve got more c**k than Smith and Wesson! Actually… it’s tanks but whatever. It suits.
2. I don’t give a damn about the Poles or their rants about the United States of Polska or the serbians. I kick their a***s on the battlefield without any sorts of mercy or remorse.
3. I like to troll. I like to troll the serbians and our infamous Ronald Gipper Reagan. I’m a big fan of the ATO movements and I love to see RGR depressed. (Don’t we all folks?!?) I love to see his epic failures. Seriously, you know you fail too much when you can’t even win a fed award with your own name.
4. I love to get myself frustrated reading the eUS code. I like to bang my head on a wall trying to understand it. I really do. I may be one of the few who cares so.. thumbs up?
5. I will make a very spendable budget and I’ll try to get it past through the House. Lol, no. The whale whaled our money in this war, we can’t spend more than the necessary, right folks? But wait… didn’t we already spend more than the necessary? Oh crap. Well, I’m here to avoid it to happen again.
Note: Without any hard feelings, I know this part isn’t really our current President’s fault, there were major game changes such as the tournament that changed the possible outcome of this war.
6. I will sell citizenship. Lol NO NO. When a serbian/Illegal immigrant comes to ask for it, I will just do what I do best: I will kick his butt and not give any citizenship who’s not approved by IES.
7. I can rap. Well… actually I can’t but I did this bit for the funsies. I even composed a song for our infamous Gipper. Lololol Here:
Look what the cat dragged back from the dead
Man it looks like chewbacca wiped his a** on your head
One day i’ll be President
And you smell like Betty White
Here’s some aspirin, you’re catching a deadly virus tonight.
Because my politics are incredible and yours are terrible
Who even listens to your rants anyway?
Even the serbians won’t care
And now that you’re right here, I can understand why they call you puppet.
Now sit down and let me give a politics lesson
Ask the eUS, I’ve got more c**k than Smith and Wesson
Never say never, you’ll never be forgetting
I’ve crafted reforms that will last throughout the eAges
Your reforms just get you trolls on your article pages!
I’m committing verbal murder in the major 3rd degree
My name is Dr Luis mo*******ker, maybe you heard of me.
Not the LSD version, I’m the real OG
You wanna trade blows? You can’t even leave your mothers basement!
Note: I do not own this lyric, it was inspired and adapted from this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcTLJ692F70 (I didn't feel RGR was worth a pure and complete composition from me)
Gipper, keep calm. Relax, leave your mother’s basement, have a drink and quit the game. With the best regards from the eUSA.
Note: The same is valid to the eUSA serbian PTOers. You guys relax, have a drink and move back to serbia. Your citizenship awaits you there. Oh and meet you on the battlefield.
Now that we had some fun, let’s get to the real platform!
If you elect me for congress I will:
1. Respect the eUS constitution and follow the procedures.
2. Give citizenship only to the ones approved by IES and I will use my passes for the good of the nation including ATO efforts.
3. I will push for a responsible budget, one that does not go into overspending.
4. I will answer the people’s questions about congress and the manner it works.
5. I will place the country interests over my own.
I’ve been a congressman before for 7 terms and I’ve held many other governmental offices. I will certainly use my knowledge for the best of the Nation, so don’t forget, on the 25th, vote for the Federalist Party if you want to see me in congress!
eFederalist Party Radio
Next Show: September 19th - Tomorrow at 1800 erep!
I do hope you have enjoyed your read and if you feel like suggesting anything, feel free to leave your comment/opinion!
Thank you and best regards!
What is this?You are reading an article written by a citizen of eRepublik, an immersive multiplayer strategy game based on real life countries. Create your own character and help your country achieve its glory while establishing yourself as a war hero, renowned publisher or finance guru.