Join the new world

Greetings, plebs.

There has been a revolutionary update by the admins today involving the military and economy modules. It has proven to be the shake-up eRepublik badly needed, and many users have reported a significant increase in genitalia. Not size, mind you, but the actual number of sexual organs in the body. There have been some citizens, however, who have failed to adapt to the new system. While this could be taken as Darwinism in action, here at MoHA it is our job to keep you safe. So fear not: here is our guide to completing the most fulfilling of eRep activities - two-clicking - in the brave new world that is eRepublik 2.0.



You will see something like this when you log in. If you see pictures of naked people, you may be on Pornhub. Or Facebook. If you get a pop-up offering you to buy something on a special offer, then you're probably on eRepublik. Or Pornhub. Or Facebook. Anyway, as you can see, there are many buttons which may puzzle you. They don't look anything like you're used to!

"It's like learning a new language!" I hear you cry. No fear, MoHA is here! We will guide you step-by-step. "It's all French to me," you complain. "No need for insults," I reply.



Now the first button, marked "My companies", will bring you to your job. Where you can work for some money. Of course, some of that money will be taken as tax. No matter what the tax rate, you know it's too much. Plus, it's probably going to be in the hands of those shifty Nifty people (ie the government other than Huey.) I don't know, didn't that Hail Astrid steal 40,000cc from the MoHA org before? I wouldn't trust those guys. Be sure to head to the feeds to complain.



Afterwards, if you head back to the homepage, you will find a new button replacing the old one. It's called "My training grounds" (I think). Click it and you'll go to your training grounds. Train and add a small number to your strength level, so that hopefully, one day, maybe, if you click for enough days, your ePeen will be as big as the other boys in the locker room. Or maybe you're a high-strength player already. In which case please enter your email address and password in the comments. For your safety.



Now, back to the homepage. You will have unlocked a new button - Get Reward! Basically, the game is rewarding you for adding numbers to your stats by giving you a small number to add to your stats. Also, if you miss one day, you'll reset and not be able to get the +5 reward for clicking five days straight. So basically that's the game's punishment for not logging in every day - the carrot and the stick etc etc. What I mean is you might be addicted and your marriage to that Russian mail-order bride was never going to work out. Moving on...



Now there's this "Daily Order" which is a totally new feature that everyone's excited about. Clicking the Battlefield button will take you to a page with a big red button labelled "FIGHT". Click it 25 times (as long as you're not in the wrong location. If that happens, you might fight for the wrong side, which is okay unless someone screenshots it, in which case you're f*cked and you gotta change your name and/or flee the country). You then get a reward. I'm not very sure what it is but seeing as you're fighting for Belgium it may well be chocolates.



So that's that. In other news, an eUK citizen has declared a National State Of Emergency, which means, under eUK constitution, every eUK citizen is obligated to either 1) panic or 2) not give a sh*t.


Just to be on the safe side, MoHA advises you to panic.

Also, RIP Alan Rickman 🙁



This has been your MoHA team, full of diehard Die Antwoord fans

Frix "The Bricks" of the Cloud
Sir Jimmy "Did he touch you... here?" Savile
Reginald "Kush" Kray
ecartman08