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[Ministry of Propaganda] Whose Rhine is it Anyway?

Day 2,785, 17:36 • Published in Canada Switzerland

• by Joseph Rich

With the 5th day of the month passed and the polls closed, we usher in a new government to bring prosperity and glory to Canada. Our new President DennisMcVicker or simply DMV3, he hopes you will follow him for the rest of the term and thanks you in his highest regard for putting your trust in him this term.

Victory Over Fascism

Several days ago, our glorious nation embarked on Operation Dumbo Drop, the mission to seal the deal with Italy and Germany. Sticks and stones were thrown at us, but we endured through the front line. This was one of the major initiatives of last term's President, Xichael, which was to plan an airstrike for Canada, as promised in his Presidential Manifest. After difficulties with the FYROMulan threat, the cabinet later decided to target Italy and Germany for the attack. The last few months has seen a lot of action near the Rhineland in Germany, with it switching hands constantly, the question remains, Whose Rhine is it Anyway? (pun intended)

Thankfully, we didn't receive much resistance from Italy, as they were too busy fussing over the Flying Spaghetti Monster, who was apparently ordering their troops to not fight, but instead "Touch His Noodly Appendages."

Italy's new Diety

Unfortunately, when we were done and dusted with Italy in the Netherlands, Germany didn't seem to want to put up a fight either, simply giving up after the first battle after the 'Blitzkreig' had failed them. Below is some footage of after the battle for Bremen. Even Hitler is not amused.

The "Anti-Blitzkreig"

As of this morning, all the Canadian soldiers are eating this scrumptious meal for breakfast. It is filled with all of the necessary proteins and minerals, and is 97% Bulls*** free, it had to go through a heavy filtering process to get it to that stage however.