Subjects of the eUnited Kingdom,
We have just come out of a confusing and terrible time, in which the King was kidnapped, proclaimed dead, escaped, trained a group of brigands, overthrew a pretender, massacred a ruling class, and then massacred another ruling class, attempted to usurp the Swedish throne and, finally was restored to the throne.
I of course speak of the terrible plight of the great King Woldy. This, is his story.
Born the b*stard son of King Kumnaa, social commentators of the time often commented on not only his copious facial hair, but of King Woldy’s apparent masculine guile and consequent greatness.
A young, hairy Woldy
Entered in Eton, he began a truly impressive academic caree-
Upon graduating simultaneously from Oxford and Harvard and learning to tame his facial hair, he began a career in the armed forces. It was there he he created his lasting friendship with fellow-spud peeler Jimbojoy, with whom he adopted some fighting techniques that would prove to be vital in later life.
The young prince in his Army regalia
After single handedly winning several wars, invading several countries, and acquiring like, half of the eUSA, King Woldy turned his hand to travelling the world.
Woldy with his brother Gonzo
Woldy and Ringo, c. 1979
By doing so he met some pretty cool guys, in Arkansas he rendezvoused with Gonzo the thing, and in Liverpool he met a certain Starr. (see above) It was the latter who first tempted King Woldy into trying some pretty whacky stuff.
After spending 3 months clean, King Woldy was discharged from rehab and reentered the political scene, only to find his Kingdom amidst a terrible civil war, apparently started by his wife. When asked, he makes no recollection of her, possibly due to constant meth addiction.
What was once Red vs Blue, for someunexplainedreason didn’t work, and so Woldy and his chums formed a Rebel alliance of the kind you see in Star Wars, but with cooler spaceships.
King Woldy trains local fatman, Karacticus
After days of training and a short holiday, King Woldy had raised an army, last week, they reconquered like the whole country and stuff and now King Woldy is King again, despite actually never having been not King before or something.
It is in light of these events, that King Woldy issued the following decrees:
Decree 1: His Majesty would be grateful if people weren’t to mess about with the Monarchy again, and now holds the exclusive right to do so, As Monarch, as outlined in legisgaytion.
Decree 2: His majesty would be grateful if the satellite and colony states occupying the eUK would return to him his regions, and not cockblock his attempts to into congress again. (His Majesty would like to point out that he is owed 5 gold compensation from the eUSA, which Artela has already agreed to pay)
Decree 3: In light of the ruling class being wiped out in what was made to look like an accidental crack den fire, His Majesty would like to inform the kingdom of the following appointments;
Sambo112 - Duke of Bradpitt
Betafoxtrot - Duke Beta of Foxtrot
GTorge - Duke of Wincest
Kcirp - Duke of Somerwhere
ApronChef - Duke & Duchess of The Moon. (Gender unknown)
Arthur Wellesley - Duke of Wellingtons
Sir Digby Chicken Caesar - Duke of Spamalot
Talon Karrde - Earl of Kardiac
Lily Jayne Summers - Earl of Stoke-on-bent
Karacticus - Earl of Llanbobl
Jimbojoy - Earl Mynameis
Count Drakula - Earl Drakula
Baron big Mack
Decree 4: The members of UKPP are to unban His Majesty from their IRC channel so he has something to laugh at when he is feeling down.
In our next issue, see how you can join the Army!
Thanks for Reading,
HRH Woldy I,
OBE, KCVS, MC, HRH.
To apply for the ‘Woldy’s Young Achievers’ Scheme, simply pop your name in this thread on our external forums:
VOTE & SUB.
What is this?You are reading an article written by a citizen of eRepublik, an immersive multiplayer strategy game based on real life countries. Create your own character and help your country achieve its glory while establishing yourself as a war hero, renowned publisher or finance guru.