Foreign Affair (Mandatory listening)
Day 2294 of the New World
March 3, 2014
“You're in America now," I said. "Our idea of diplomacy is showing up with a gun in one hand and a sandwich in the other and asking which you'd prefer.”
So said Jim Butcher in Turn Coat.
I'm no Jim Butcher.
I prefer the thought process of Sue Monk Kidd in The Secret Life of Bees who said:
"If you need something from somebody, always find a way for them to give it to you."
Or perhaps it is best to just quote Marquis de Sade:
"Conversation, like certain portions of the anatomy, always runs more smoothly when lubricated."
It will be incumbent upon our next Administration (which I hope to lead) to be expert in the field of diplomacy. So I am publishing just three of the planks of my F/A platform. All for the greater glory of eUSA.
“nos amicitiae, et honorem”
(our friendship and honor)
Invest heavily in solid diplomatic relations with Sirius/Pro-Sirius
Our place in Sirius is going to be largely defined by how valuable we become within the Alliance. This means we must excel in diplomacy. It means we will fight as hard to protect Poland, for instance, as we will to protect our own lands.
Diplomacy is a skill. I have seen Wild Owl in action. It's kind of fun, really, to watch him work. Our place among the Nations of Sirius will be a matter of primary concern, and with Wild Owl by my side, I know Sirius will be on great terms with eUSA.
To this end I pledge my support, if elected, to Sirius. I pledge that I and our Government will participate conscientiously, we will be generous in sharing intelligence, and we will be vigilant against the enemies of our Allies. And when it comes to diplomacy with our enemies... maybe more Jim Butcher and less lube.
Inasmuch as I would be leading the eUSA delegation of representatives in Sirius, I will state clearly what I think Sirius must do to ensure security through solidarity.
To respond to the challenges we face, to ensure greater security for less money, we need to act together with great flexibility. In short, we need to be Siriusly Smart in defense.
Wherever possible, I will be promoting a coherent, joint and long term approach to smart defense. This means we will be working to ensure that our allied Nations maintain good fiscal policies to protect the effectiveness of their militaries. It means we will work directly with Sirius HQ whenever we have concerns.
Jeane Kirkpatrick once said, “Solidarity was the movement that turned the direction of history.”
Solidarity for us means: An attack on one allied Nation is an attack against all.
Solidarity for us requires: We are fully capable to defend Sirius and its values.
Awareness of Solidarity means: We turn economic threats into incentives for a mobilized Sirius response.
This is Siriusly Smart Defense.
“Maple Leaf Rag”
Talk with Canada
Canada is an interesting neighbor. We all know how wacky they are.
Exhibit D (Ok, not all Canadians are "wacky"...)
And they even make for a great enemy, don't they? But there will come a wise time to cease fire against Canada. I expect it will come during my Presidency.
So I'd like to officially ask Canada if they'd like to dance. I'm not talking about swapping spit in the showers with them. In fact, think of it as more of one of those square dancey type things where you hardly even ever actually get to touch your partner let alone get to third base. I want to dance with Canadians.
One thing I won’t tolerate, however, is having our neighbors to the north in bed with Serbia. Canada must cut ties with Serbia or there will be very little to talk about.
Take a “strike first” mentality in trolling Asteria in the Media
In keeping with the general atmosphere of my Administration, there will also be fun to be had in Foreign Affairs. As a joint venture between the Department of Media and the Foreign Affairs Department, I am proud to announce the Derp Artment.
Our very own Derphoof will be keeping himself busy by lampooning our enemies on a regular basis. Trolling is a high art in eRepublik, and just like RL administrations appoint Poets Laureate, our Troll Laureate will keep the evil members of Asteria blushing with embarrassment. See a fine example of his craft.
Let's remember we don't hate these people in real life. This is a game, and taunting makes it more fun. We got this.
I do not want to give you the impression that this is the entirety of our Foreign Affairs Platform. Most of our plans should not be shared with anyone except my closest advisers. Stealth is often a key to victory.
These few items have been published so that you know what to look forward to as we move along.
I look forward to seeing you a lot in March.
And as always, I gladly invite your participation.
You may now return to your regularly scheduled clicking
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