[eCan] CP Voters Guide

Day 2,206, 17:18 • Published in Canada United Kingdom • by Leo Balzac

Greetings fellow eCanadians,

I'm writing to you on the eve of the CP elections in order to (hopefully) educate the populace at large about their options for CP. We all know who the candidates are, but I will restate them now: Exalted Druid, Rolo Tahmasee, Oinyo, Alexandrin, Shere Richard Parker.

Exalted Druid

Candidated by: CPF, SiS, CPP
This man has been playing the game for a long time, a loooooong time. This makes me question his sanity. Seriously though; ED has been involved in governance in one form or another for as long as I can remember. He's not a bad choice for CP to be sure. Based upon his platform, however, I cannot quite tell what his plan is for eCanada's future. To give a precis (fancy word for tl;dr) it would seem to me that ED wants to keep an even keel. His platform is neither bold nor conservative, I would say it's safe to say he's going to wait out the most recent international developments before making any foreign affairs decisions.

On the domestic front, I have no idea what ED has planned but I do know that he will surround himself with the best that eCan has to offer

Vote Rating: safe
Personal Analysis: While ED is very accomplished and experienced, we do not normally see eye to eye. This isn't because of any like or dislike (the only player in this game I truly dislike is Punisher) simply that often times our respective parties are at loggerheads. I would personally not vote ED due to his repeated history of being a fence sitter.

Oinyo

Candidated by: CW (or TIW or whatever the flavour of the week is for Toad)
Oinyo is a very active leader, this much can be said without a doubt. He brings energy and enthusiasm to the job. The other positive of Oinyo is that he knows his weaknesses and so surrounds himself with a strong cabinet. Though his choices for cabinet in the past have been lackluster at best, there are always a few gems in there to pick up the slack. Oinyo's platform entails more of the same. This means there will be no war unless the 'MOB' initiates it, there will be no domestic programs to speak of. What you WILL get, however, is another Even Keel player who will ply the middle of the river and not rock the boat.

Vote Rating: safe
Personal Analysis: I like Oinyo, I really do. I hated him when he first came onto the scene with CW, but CW was my mortal enemy at the time. What I've found out about Oinyo since then is that he is sincere, honest and earnest. These are good qualities in a butler, but not a CP. From the promised war that never was, to the embarrassing MPP with Portugal proposed by Oinyo and shot down by the Pork 'n Cheese congress; Oinyo is a bit of a Mr. Magoo. He is a good guy but hardly capable. I would personally not vote Oinyo.

Alexandrin

Candidated by: PFC
I know nothing of this player, I have not seen an article by him. He's probably not really running for CP but just left on the board.
Vote Rating: Danger Will Robinson! Danger!
Personal Analysis: I have no clue.

Shere Richard Parker

Candidated by: BP
While I love bacon, Ginger Thursdays and Rudyard Kipling book references, Shere Parker's platform outlines it all: "I have no idea what I'm doing here." He is the new James Bond.
Vote Rating: Only for the lulz
Personal Analysis: I'll vote for him if he promises to deliver his gingers to my house on a weekly basis

Rolo Tahmasee

Candidated by: MDP
I've known Rolo for a long time now. I was on hiatus when he stole the treasury. From what I've heard from both sides it was an unfortunate incident that started with lulz and ended with a liar (cough, AMM, cough) starting an illegal impeachment vote that was successful. I will not deny that Rolo stole eCan's gold at one point. I will not deny that he profited from this. What I WILL deny is the idea that Rolo is a repeat offender, someone only looking to the CP chair in order to steal again. The elected representatives of this country have voted to allow Rolo back into our ranks. We fought a bloody CIVIL WAR over this, our CP two months ago lead this civil war and hurt eCan just as much as Rolo did when he stole. This is all old news to me. What I do know about Rolo: He is dedicated. He ran, won and was CP during a time when he was not allowed to participate in the forums and things ran rather well until he was impeached. He's held the CP chair time and time again and each time, we've come out ahead. His platform promises restraint with an eye to war, something we can all embrace with the current geopolitical climate. His domestic agenda is non-existent but he is no different here than the other candidates.
Vote Rating: Safe
Personal Analysis: Truly, when it comes down to it, Rolo is the ONLY logical choice for CP. He is intelligent, belligerent and cool as a cucumber. He will look for ways to earn us TP gold without compromising our international standing. I think, in times like these where the global situation is as unclear; Rolo is the only player deserving of the CP title.

Conclusion
I understand my past alignment with MDP will cause many people to dismiss this article, but truly, from the bottom of my heart this is how I feel. It has nothing to do with party politics but everything to do with my desire to see eCan grow and prosper. The 'haters' will again flame me in the comments and I welcome that, hell I deserve it. The only thing I ask of you, the 'average joe/jane' is to look at my analysis; go back and re-read the candidates articles and vote with your mind, not your heart.

With grande love,
Leo