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[Drama] Confession of Past Sins

Day 1,776, 07:39 by Goku Jones

My name is Goku Jones and I have returned to the UK today. This article will introduce me to those of you who don't know me, I may write a longer version later to set the record straight for those of you who do know me.

Here are some quick facts about my time in this game to whet your appetite for what is to come:





Political
*After 1 month in the game, in three susequent elections I became a Top 5 Party President, a Congressman and the Minister for Foreign Affairs.

*After 2 months in the game I gained several hundred refferals (just before the easy refferal link system so no gold!) and directed them towards North Korea which they then took over. We would later take Japan. They then held and then dropped the Kyushu gate which destroyed Iran as a power in this game. I can't really take any credit as they where better players than me!

*I was Minister of Recruitment and increased the UK population by 10% after a period of long decline.


Cultural
*I founded the party (Radical Freethinkers Alliance) which was the precursor to ESO.

*I designed the UKRP Logo during a PTO attempt of them.

*I wrote ALL of the eUK legislation. Although I would have preffered to have none and it's been edited since.

*I have recruited 80 players since the refferal link system was added.

Economic
*I have a Q7 Weapons Factory, 35 Saltpetres and a full set of Q4 Training Grounds.

*I have 146 medals of 8 different types.

*I have received 98.40g from my most active refferee, 49.28g from the second most active and 31.08g from the third!


Military
*I have 19,333 strength and gain 90 strength a day.

*I do 5,821 damage unarmed and 17,464 with Q7 Weapon.

* I have burst damage of 2,270,320 doing 130 Q7 fights.


Dastardly
*As a member of M16 I stopped a PTO of Ireland. Years later I helped a PTO and long term wipe of Ireland as a member of the Bremen Clubhouse.

*I have been permanently banned from the eUK forums twice yet still had full access to their private government forums during the bans. The second ban is still active. I often leak embarrassing information to the public.

*I rigged the elections in Japan for several months with a team of people, dropping parties into and out of the Top 5, taking Party President spots and sniping Congress candidiates.

*I used the old advertising module to anonymously plaster IRL pictures of Japanese political opponents all over the game. We mined these from google and got sexy underwear pics (girl), moody sexy pics(girl), obese she-whale(girl) and emo(male).

*I have gained political influence by taking over Top 5 parties once in the UK and twice in Japan.

*I have bypassed the biased UK Citizenship system not just today, but also once or twice in the past too. I have many friends amoungst our congressmen.

*I have been harassed so much by the UK establishment that it is my mission to bring down their forum government and establish an in game one, to that end I commit terrorist attacks against them.

*I have impersonated countless people on IRC as part of information gathering and disruption operations.

*I leaked MagicHereos' Presidential Manifesto to his opponent Ayame Crocodile, allowing him to counter all of his strategies. I have done this several times before with other candidiates.

*I used the BenTwo and BenThree aliases to bring down former President Big Ant.

*As a Ministry of Defense supplier, I walked with a 70g investment in my character after yet another forum ban.

*[REDACTED]


Conclusion
As you can see I am quite a talented and accomplished player. I can and have done great good but I have no scruples about ruthlessly attacking my enemies if I am driven to it. Let's hope for a few fun and event filled months in the UK!

 

Comments

Kravenn
Kravenn Day 1,776, 07:52

You forget to mention that you stole money from Talon.

Magic Hereos
Magic Hereos Day 1,776, 07:53

You can add, that your citizenship was refused by Prime Minister and you got it illegal.

Lord Lewis Cromwell
Lord Lewis Cromwell Day 1,776, 07:53

Summary: You're a joke

Ergo Deus
Ergo Deus Day 1,776, 07:53

Butt? Butt.

Goku Jones
Goku Jones Day 1,776, 07:55

No it's right there in the article Kravenn, 70g.

I'll add that Magic thanks, nice catch. Not the first time I have done this!

Kravenn
Kravenn Day 1,776, 07:59

Everybody knows damages that you made to eUK. Stealing money to Talon is more than a shame.

You are a PTO threat.

jamesw
jamesw Day 1,776, 08:00

a) RFA wasn't the precursor to ESO.
b) You didn't come close to PTO'ing UKRP
c) You didn't 'help' BCH at all, you just took some of the glory.
d) Bypassing citizenship by offering money isn't really something to brag about. I've bypassed it without needing to pay four times to date. It isn't really an achievement anyway.
e) Everyone knew about your thefts.

But thanks for playing!

Goku Jones
Goku Jones Day 1,776, 08:04

Kravenn: They shouldn't have banned me if they wanted me to keep faith with investments given to me.

Jamesw:
a) You got your members from somewhere right? Not thin air.
b) Never said that I did.
c) I was in TUP at the time and got them to propose the Ireland NE which wiped them. You couldn't possibly know anything about this.
d) I didn't offer any money. I got it for free.
e) Nobody knew about the 50g MoF theft. Link me to someone talking about it. Didn't you steal the whole treasury?

Goku Jones
Goku Jones Day 1,776, 08:07

"Illegal Citizenship" is forum roleplay guys, this is why I run rings around you because I do not have these petty constraints. Congressmen can do what they like

Dr Hugh Jardon
Dr Hugh Jardon Day 1,776, 08:23

Magic...you got in illegally as well. But i'm sure Goku cant be a bigger threat to this game than those who run the forums.

All this was before my time but looks interesting \o/

Goku Jones
Goku Jones Day 1,776, 08:29

Haha yeha I forgot. MagicHeroes got illegal citizenship and here he is giving me shit for it! These people...

Iain Keers
Iain Keers Day 1,776, 08:45

Actually I proposed the Ireland NE, it had nothing to do with you. Summary of your achievements:

Continued playing despite every single member of the community despising you. Spent your whole time in the game trying to make it unplayable and unfun for everyone else. Basically Goku you're an internationally famous spoilsport who would rather turn over the chess board than play fairly, and the reason for that is that you're so unlikeable nobody wants to play with you.

Goku Jones
Goku Jones Day 1,776, 08:51

*Has 33% more strength than you Iain.

Well I just listed everything out, so you kind of have to disprove them all to say that I have no achievements. You can't just make it so!

Sexagenarian
Sexagenarian Day 1,776, 08:57

Personally I welcome someone that will play the game not the forum.

@Kravenn "You forget to mention that you stole money from Talon" That's meant to be negative? LOL

Dr Hugh Jardon
Dr Hugh Jardon Day 1,776, 09:22

lmao Sexagenarian - post of the day mate \o/

Jao359
Jao359 Day 1,776, 09:46

Welcome Back!

CheetahCurtis
CheetahCurtis Day 1,776, 09:50

Never heard of you...

Dr Hugh Jardon
Dr Hugh Jardon Day 1,776, 09:52

Have to agree though that it would be nice to bring this game back away from IRC and the forums and make it accessible to the majority and not the minority

Kravenn
Kravenn Day 1,776, 09:54

another article where Goku bought votes.
You should probably believe that you could be popular by this way but eUK population is not stupid

Dr Hugh Jardon
Dr Hugh Jardon Day 1,776, 10:06

I voted and subscribed anyway \o/

This guy could be a saviour - PTO by people denying us of our right to participate in a game or stay as we we are with...oh...tough choice

Jao359
Jao359 Day 1,776, 10:16

Agreed

Betafoxtrot
Betafoxtrot Day 1,776, 10:25

I'm suprised one of your accomplishments isn't having higher IG stats than Woldy and therefore being a better CP tbqh

Carlini8
Carlini8 Day 1,776, 10:37

You sound like my hero, maybe we could talk, seems like you could teach me a thing or two.

Niko Jones
Niko Jones Day 1,776, 10:40

From a completely personal view anyone that can blow their own trumpet like this in an article and in an on-line game scenario is a complete knob.

As I said that's my own personal opinion.

Goku Jones
Goku Jones Day 1,776, 11:41

My sister, she hates me. Now we just need uncle Maddog Jones to show up!

Elle Roslin
Elle Roslin Day 1,776, 11:45

whocares

are we doomed to retreading the same old crap?

I need a new country

Jao359
Jao359 Day 1,776, 11:57

May i suggest Russia?

Thedark ace
Thedark ace Day 1,776, 14:02

Even Maddog is better than you.

WayneKerr
WayneKerr Day 1,776, 15:34

You owe me gold...

Prince Sheogorath
Prince Sheogorath Day 1,776, 17:36

Nice trolling, voted.

Why is everybody so butthurt over his list of achievements? Some of you are responsible for bad things too. Except you do them for greed and not for the lulz.

WayneKerr
WayneKerr Day 1,776, 17:54

Goku just likes attention. Feed him and he thrives, ignore him and he throws the toys out the pram, takes the ball home and sulks two clicking for a while. Before his ego dictates that he has to come back and try his 'masterplan' over again.

Personally I quite like Goku, he makes me laugh, but don't believe a word he ever says...

Solytix
Solytix Day 1,776, 19:36

Goku, I don't know you but I know that the people running eUK are cheats (they cheated during the last CP election). You seem really cool and I wish you luck kicking these morons out.

Steve

Jack Jockson
Jack Jockson Day 1,776, 22:28

q4 training grounds? oh dear... when did that happen

DaJoXTeR
DaJoXTeR Day 1,776, 22:53

boy, that escalated quickly.

Spygon
Spygon Day 1,777, 03:56

Pretty much what this is saying if goku does not get what he wants he steal or runs off.So as you can see he is selfish and not really a team player.

New guys the enemy of your enemy should not always be trusted.

Jao359
Jao359 Day 1,777, 07:34

.... I'm not gonna quote it, but these people can be our friends too

John Rupert Miranda
John Rupert Miranda Day 1,777, 08:00

"James: a) RFA wasn't the precursor to ESO."

as Jamesw said, RFA wasn't the precursor. If we have to involve a party in the history of the founding of ESO, would be TRD (The Real Democrats), which became BDP and changed its political orientation, and because of that and other reasons beyond my knowledge, Artela left the party and alongside Jamesw founded ESO. It is also worth noting that a few BDP members left at that time and joined ESO.

Goku Jones
Goku Jones Day 1,777, 09:10

Most of the members of RFA (a top 5 party) joined ESO (making it a top 5 party), they did this because the RFA PP (Temujin) joined ESO and said that the party had disbanded and merged into ESO.

That 10 people from a minor party like TRD/BDP and Jamesw also joined doesn't really change this. Artela was a RFA member in the past as was Temujin, GGRyan and many other ESO leaders.

Your members did not appear from thin air, they were TUP and RFA defectors.

Betafoxtrot
Betafoxtrot Day 1,777, 09:23

So is TUP a precursor to ESO?

Sir Nick Griffin
Sir Nick Griffin Day 1,777, 09:40

Iaiaian, I don't despise Goku... he's awesome... I think you'll find only a tiny clique of people in your forum-roleplay-adventures dislike him... infact, I could find a lot more who despise you!

Goku Jones
Goku Jones Day 1,777, 09:41

Did TUP lose all of it's members to ESO and disband? No it is still a seperate entity so precursor is the wrong word.

Was it influential and did it lose alot of members? Yes, I'm not sure what word is right to describe that though.

Goku Jones
Goku Jones Day 1,777, 09:42

Look, different parties contributed different amounts to ESO. Call it RFA 70%, TUP 20% and BDP 10% or whatever split you like, we can niggle over the details all day.

Fact is that 100 members or whatever it was came from RFA and that is a pretty major influence. Add that to a centre party disbanding and a centre party forming, with the PP of RFA calling a merger and I think it's fair to say precursor.

Goku Jones
Goku Jones Day 1,777, 09:43

Am I trying to take credit for ESO? No, absolutly not. I am taking credit for promoting centrist parties in the UK though.

Avlana Kiarunto
Avlana Kiarunto Day 1,777, 10:05

why are you still here

Mr. Spigot
Mr. Spigot Day 1,777, 10:15

Seems to me you're taking credit for an awful lot.

Horice G Fossil
Horice G Fossil Day 1,777, 10:34

Keers wrote 'and the reason for that is that you're so unlikeable nobody wants to play with you'

If Goku is happy to play with himself I say let him, better that than him wanting to play with me!

Horice q:

Jao359
Jao359 Day 1,777, 10:49

He's not that bad to talk to... i don't think he;s done anything wrong yet so maybe give him another chance

Beagle Boy
Beagle Boy Day 1,777, 11:33

I seem to remember the game was fun when Goku was about......

kcirp
kcirp Day 1,777, 11:45

wow some people are idiots

metalmicky999
metalmicky999 Day 1,777, 12:55

Me>you

All that needs to be posted here.

 
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