[Derp4CP] Building a Narrative

Day 3,146, 19:51 • Published in USA USA • by Derphoof


One of the most important jobs a president has is to communicate with the people he has been tasked with leading. If you elect someone, you expect to hear something from them about what they’re doing and what is going on. If you’re not communicating, you lose the rapport between the people and their government.

Luckily, I enjoy writing.

This means that I will be giving frequent updates on the administration and its view on world events. Just as well, I will make my opinion known on internal events, and will be sure to inject myself into Congressional debate, in order to achieve the goals of my administration and the betterment of the nation.

Make no mistake. Congress and the Public will know where I stand on all matters of importance.

Just as well, I will be sure that our government media will be visible at all times. In order to do this, I will be requesting a new line-item on the budget to allocate for the promotion of articles within our own media, and externally if needed. This will include the WHPR’s and the Press Briefings. After all, it’s a damn shame the press briefings aren’t in the the Top 5 of the media. That shit is gold, and it’s actually kinda informative for the public, who can’t see the PDB’s.

In order to rock the media, here is my team:



George Armstrong Custer is basically the prolific god of the WHPR. His output is fantastic and the quality of writing never ceases to impress. He’s essentially put out a WHPR every 2-5 days. He’s extremely committed to the job and is fully on board with the term ahead. He is always productive in PDB’s and to the point of his job. He isn’t one to clutter it up, and stays professional and organized. His work ethic and skills are invaluable to the administration.

However, there is one thing Custer isn’t so great with. He’s not so down with Dio. In order to get our recommended dose of Dioism, and to maintain the narrative over the course of the month, both LordRahl and Wooky Jack have accepted positions to enhance our national media with Dioist articles and features. Lord Rahl is a quality writer who can be trusted to perform, while Wooky Jack is a fun-loving guy who has that revolutionary touch. Both of these players will be a pleasure to work with and have around as we move forward into the new age of American Greatness.


Aramec is the sexy shoeless God of the PDB. His animated and entertaining press briefings are a breath of fresh air to any day of government work. No matter what happens, he can craft an entertaining and informative rundown of what all went down, without divulging sensitive information. I expect him to continue to output the same quality articles as always, and I will try to ensure that they all get in the Top 5, so the whole country enjoys his writings. I also wrote about him and his accomplishments in my first cabinet article. I encourage you to check it out.



I believe that this team will be able to help craft and sustain the media narrative that will drive the term ahead. They are the best of the best for the job, regardless of political affiliation. In shooting for greatness, I will not settle for anyone incapable of achieving great standards. America deserves a great administration which can deliver consistently great, informative, and entertaining media.

I will deliver nothing less.