White House Press Release - Jan. 30th

Day 1,167, 13:58 • Published in USA USA • by James S. Brady Press Room


Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding,
The cretins cloning and feeding,
And I don't even own a TV.



A Fuzzy Situation
As you may or may not have noticed, there's a little bit of an issue that seems to be underway. Seems that those old dogs in Serbia and whatnot decided to try and give America what for and start a RW in Tibet. The real tragedy of this action is that the pandas we use to keep our Kawaii Quotient up (talk to Pfeiffer about the economic specifics behind that if you want to know) will soon fall under Eastern European oppression.

That's right. The pandas we have long used to supply our troops and our nation at large with their daily dose of cuddles and cuteness will soon be in enemy hands.

And this is not good America.



Do you really want this to fall into enemy hands?

Save the panda.
Save the world.



They Don't Actually Hate Us...Do They?
If by they, you mean they you mean Pakistan, then yes, they do love us. They're just having a few problems because their congress got PTO'd, but it's okay, because they're voting it down. They still love us. 😁

If by they, you mean Spain however, then that's another story. Spain is that kid you knew in your school that would come up to your locker, talk about how great friends you guys were, ask you to do your homework, then walk away talking to his buddies about how much of a total loser you were. I mean, who honestly decides to reject a long time friendship, try and declare us their natural enemy, and then attempt to denounce it saying we're the best of friends? Our President isn't fooled; neither should you be.



Who Wants to Be a POTUS?
Speaking of Presidents, this month's POTUS elections are looking to be one of the most interesting races we've had since that one time some kitten came back and started scratching at James Franco...or something...

Anyways, Chickensguys, Claire Littleton, Emerick, Gulden Draak, Haliman, Joe Dasmoe, Justin McCravok, Julian Mizu, Pearcey333 and possibly galli & ligtreb are ALL RUNNING FOR POTUS.


America's face upon learning that they would actually have to decide on 1 candidate out of the candidate pool.

I'll give you a clue as to who you should really vote for...



Three words: write in vote (ask Pfeiffer how it's possible [seriously]).

Anyways, preliminary polling done by some old guy in a hat has shown that America prefers giant Tsunami waves over JRPG characters, Canadians, Disney action revivals, suicidal JRPG characters, Monopoly, zombies, blonde chicks, old men, and almost everything.

Who knew?

***UPDATE***
In addition to fancy polls, there's also a debate going on. Go ahead and hop on IRC tonight at 17:00 eRep Time in #eus-debate to witness this spectacular clash of titans.


Yeah, it's kinda like that.

Be sure to take some time and submit some questions for them as well.

Anyways, good luck with trying to decide who to vote for. As for me, I have a failsafe method of picking.



And it's only failed me once.



Enjoy the news, my little chunks of XP.

Athanaric
~Linkmaster Extraordinaire~