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What's Under Your Bed?

Tag 1,891, 01:48 von Bia Pandora

I'm not referring to your box of adult toy store goodies or stash of Ginormous Boobie mags. I'm talking about that thing that scares the hell out of you that other people think is just.....silly.

The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language defines a Phobia as:

(Noooo, it's not a fake Bia, silly...)

"A persistent, abnormal, and irrational fear of a specific thing or situation that compels one to avoid it, despite the awareness and reassurance that it is not dangerous."

I have this ginormous freakin' toothache right now, which made me think about my greatest phobia...

THE DENTIST



I know dentists are your friend. They make your toofers all pearly white and your breath smell yummy. I know that nowadays they have no problem giving you goofy gas and pumping you up with novacaine so you feel nothing. It doesn't matter.

I have really "soft" teeth. Meaning no matter how well I maintain my teeth, every time I go to the dentist I have at least one cavity. My biatch sister eats candy like its vitamins and has never had one. When I was a kid I had abscesses, cavities and teeth needing root canals and pulled every two minutes. Back then dentists and doctors did not need assistants in the office...back then it could just be you...and him.



Dr. Snow was an evil dentist. My parents used to send me off to the dentist alone most times, as it was just a few blocks from my house. He had no secretary, no assistant...just him and a tiny one room office of pain. He never gave me enough novacaine, and I'd struggle through fillings, etc., with tears rolling down my face trying not to wiggle. Then he'd call my parents, or if they came and picked me up, he'd tell them how horrible I "behaved", so I'd get my butt beat when I got home as well.

To this day I start shaking and crying as soon as I hit the chair. It's crazy how even years later phobias can affect you.



There is this round thing under the bathtub faucet where you flip up a lever to plug your drain when you want to take a bath.



I have twin 15 year old daughters, and all three of us have very long hair. Every month or so the drain gets clogged up and I have to unscrew that circular thingy and pull up this long metal rod that has a springy looking thing at the end. Well, all the hair collects around that springy looking thing.

I made the mistake of taking this off and cleaning off the hair a few weeks ago while my 3 year old son was in the bathroom with me. He was like "ewwww what's that", and I explained it was just hair that I was cleaning off. He went and looked at the hole in the tub where the circular thing normally is and didn't say anything, so I finished up and screwed it back on.

Now, he won't take a bath. He just freaks out screaming about the hole that is under that cover like something is going to jump out of it at him....



Apparently, worse things can happen than your kids walking in on you having sex...I think the poor kid is scarred for life.



A few years back I lived with this guy that did some time...don't ask...I'm a magnet for bad men and bad browser games apparently...

Anyway, this guy was your typical badass. Full sleeves of black and white prison tattoos and a bald head. I used to send him to drop off my older son at school so he could scare the hell out of the bullies just by stepping out of the car.


Ok, he didn't have face tattoos but you get the idea.

One day he's downstairs. I have a finished basement. I'm upstairs in the kitchen cooking dinner like a good wench, when all of a sudden he starts screaming up the stairs, just shrieking...

"BABY....BABY....OMG GET DOWN HERE NOW HURRYUP!!!"

So, I go running down the stairs about busting my butt tripping over myself thinking someone was bleeding. He's standing in the hall outside the bathroom pointing, his face just white in terror.

I'm like..."Baby, wtf, what is wrong, are you OK??????"

He points and says "LOOK".

So I peek into the bathroom and see....nothing. "What, there is nothing there?!", I say.

"LOOK IN THE SHOWER DAMMIT!", he yells.

So, I peek in the shower..and I see....



That's right...Mr. Scary Man was screaming like a girl over a spider no bigger than a sesame seed.

I looked at him. "Are you serious?" *blink blink*

He says all wide-eyed...."BABY THEY JUMP!!!!"

I think I peed a little I laughed so hard.



I know we are ALL terrified of this:



But, I'm curious...

What is under your bed? What scares you?

Love & Hugs,

Bia

 

Kommentare

Bia Pandora
Bia Pandora Tag 1,891, 01:48

Eeeesh...dentists : (

vasspana
vasspana Tag 1,891, 01:52

nice!!!

wingfield
wingfield Tag 1,891, 02:53

Voted

With multiple daughters, I learned to use the Drano years ago!

Bia Pandora
Bia Pandora Tag 1,891, 02:58

Not even Drano can get through that mouse sized clump of hair lol. I wasted bottles before I figured out how to take that thingy apart.

wingfield
wingfield Tag 1,891, 03:03

I use the crystals with the little flakes of metal mixed in. The bottles never do the trick. All the same, hair clumps are tough stuff. No wonder your little one was scared!

Drew Blood
Drew Blood Tag 1,891, 03:26

My PhoBIA is small dark spaces due to my time in the Far East courteous of Uncle Sam....

Spamgobbler
Spamgobbler Tag 1,891, 03:27

Clowns with sad faces painted on. They scare me.

You're supposed to be cheering me up with your antics. Yet your face is sad.

WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING, SAD CLOWN?

Bia Pandora
Bia Pandora Tag 1,891, 03:27

It's ok Ichabod, I sleep with a light on in the hall and flip out if my kids close my door lol *hugs*

Phoenix Quinn
Phoenix Quinn Tag 1,891, 03:29

Bats in the house. For some reason that totally freaks me out, even though they are pretty easy to catch and evict.

Bia Pandora
Bia Pandora Tag 1,891, 03:29

ewww clowns.... http://i49.tinypic.com/2ikw036.jpg

Krimpie
Krimpie Tag 1,891, 03:50

Uh.. Spiders.. But in my defense, we got big-assed rain and baboon spiders here.

One day was sitting down for a nice leisurely #2... Out of the pot comes this big rainspider, Crawls over me nuts and leg. I sit there frozen stiff while making numbers 2.1, 2.2, 2.3 etc. What if this F*cker decides to bite! That's going to look well on my tombstone.
Killed by a spiderbite to the balls.
Till today..
Well might as well be me you described there Bia

Bia Pandora
Bia Pandora Tag 1,891, 03:54

lmfao!

The Dark J0ker
The Dark J0ker Tag 1,891, 03:58

xD

Binda33
Binda33 Tag 1,891, 04:06

No phobias for me as such. I did used to have a strong fear of hospitals, medical procedures and needles but having babies cured me of that (give me that needle dammit, I'm in pain here!), and then I became a nurse which helped - it's so much easier to give a needle than to get one!

Poor Krimpie! (though I lol'd)

kuckuck
kuckuck Tag 1,891, 04:10

lol V!

DariusReg
DariusReg Tag 1,891, 04:23

I am scared of chickens, not live ones, dead cleened of fethers one. I do not eat chicken meet no matter what, I choke if I touch that by mistake

Bia Pandora
Bia Pandora Tag 1,891, 04:24

oh God that last picture must be extra terrifying for you, sorry!

Wacky368
Wacky368 Tag 1,891, 04:25

Moths, absolutely, there is not one person who can exceed at dodgeball the way i dodge moths, i absolutely screech if they hit into me and scream like a little girl.
Don't even get me going on mice. You want to see me wee my pants? Let one of those little shits close to me and i'm all over whoever is closest to me. Get this, i'm not one of those lean ladies with only skin and bones with no meat so screaming in the first place kinda breaks my mom power but shit man, any women who diesn't scream at a mouse approaching at 100 miles an hour will become the ear deafening definer of the year.

btw that was really funny to read Bia!

Bia Pandora
Bia Pandora Tag 1,891, 04:26

lmfao, these comments are great, thanks all lol

Ante Tony
Ante Tony Tag 1,891, 04:57

classic...heheheh )

anonymoushooligan
anonymoushooligan Tag 1,891, 05:01

Gotta agree with you about the dentist. My dad was my dentist growing up (seriously), and would take out his annoyances at me while I was in the chair...

Now I have to take massive amounts of valium so that I don't have a panic attack just walking into my dentists office.

Drew Blood
Drew Blood Tag 1,891, 05:10

Spamgobbler
'Clowns with sad faces painted on. They scare me.

You're supposed to be cheering me up with your antics. Yet your face is sad.

WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING, SAD CLOWN?'

Hell I don't like clowns even when they smile...http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y187/PapaCerf/Clowns/evil_clown-2.jpg

Ezahiel Tag 1,891, 05:10

Kommentar gelöscht

Dell Fargus
Dell Fargus Tag 1,891, 05:19

My dentist is a heavy smoker. I can taste the nicotine on his hands when he works on my teeth - through the rubber gloves.

Torman Capek
Torman Capek Tag 1,891, 05:35

Tent caterpillars.

Bia Pandora
Bia Pandora Tag 1,891, 05:35

WTF is a tent caterpillar?

Bia Pandora
Bia Pandora Tag 1,891, 05:37

OH GOD JUST GOOGLED those things are ickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkky

Gessho
Gessho Tag 1,891, 05:56

vagina dentata. i would be the (un)lucky guy to find her, i'm sure.

Wacky368
Wacky368 Tag 1,891, 06:01

Lol @ Gessho, now i am going to have to google vagina dentana to see what the hell that is

Bia Pandora
Bia Pandora Tag 1,891, 06:11

DON'T DO IT, IT'S A TRAP

LMAO

BTTrambly
BTTrambly Tag 1,891, 06:23

You know that guy from Scream? Yea....F*** that guy.

Grand Master of Warfire
Grand Master of Warfire Tag 1,891, 07:28

i had phobias about spiders when i was a chield. but now i have no any. İ am kind a strong now : D

Rick von Ruger
Rick von Ruger Tag 1,891, 07:32

my own dreams...

just last night i spent what seemed like an eternity pinned down in some kind of no-man's-land by hostile gunfire from multiple positions, in the dark of night, facedown in mud, hugging the ground, unarmed. watching people i know and love be shot down feet away from me with nothing i could do but hope they didn't notice me playing dead and hit me too. i managed to eventually escape with only minor injuries, but sometimes my dreams are not so lucky.

i am not a real soldier. i have never been in any combat. i do not generally watch war movies, shows, etc... but sometimes i begin to believe i may have suffered a past life in some kind of war zone. i do not envy anyone in such a position. that shit sucks.

BugsBunnyz
BugsBunnyz Tag 1,891, 10:09

Actually with me its snakes but I still am ok with touching nonpoisonous snakes.
The rest well.. I have a shotgun

I'm the "no fear" guy....

Actually the most scary thing for me is in my dreams, and that is swinging though the air at speeds up to and over 60 MPH, close to the ground, man talk about scared stiff in your dreams....

BugsBunnyz
BugsBunnyz Tag 1,891, 10:53

Ohh and I have seen a headless chicken running around.. it wasn't naked though

Maxmillian VonWillebrand
Maxmillian VonWillebrand Tag 1,891, 11:23

OK, so here's my faux-bia:

When I was a kid, "The Shining" came out and my silly parents decided to take me along with them whilst they parked in a drive-in theater parking lot and proceeded to watch this scary as shit movie (come on, I was 4 when that movie came out and Jack Nicholson is one badass m-n-f'er in that flick!!)

Anyhow, I just happened to pop my head out from under the blanket I was all snuggled in to in the back seat and looked towards the big screen right when those elevator door opened up and the blood came all gushing out of them and filled the halls...FOR YEARS, I would NOT step foot in an elevator...Thank GOD I got over that one since I now work in a hospital and it would be a real bitch trying to get around without the elevators...

Diablo DuBon
Diablo DuBon Tag 1,891, 11:35

Mmmmmm. Fried headless chicken. And about he drano, not really that good for getting hair out of the drain. There are actual cleaning supplies specifically made for getting rid of hair from the drain.

The only thing I fear is fear itself.

Hadrian X
Hadrian X Tag 1,891, 11:56

BABY THEY JUMP!!!! Hahaha!

GloveisLove
GloveisLove Tag 1,891, 14:06

Dead hooker

Stolch
Stolch Tag 1,891, 16:27

I've never had any real fobias though I cringe at the sound of glasses screeching when they go against the all, it drives me nuts.

I do however have a spider story of my own:

I used to study in rome and had a roommate who was studying in another university. Anyway one day I get back from classes and she's having a shower, all of a sudden she starts screaming like out of a Hitchcock movie. I jump up and ask what's happening but she just screams and doesn't stop.

I tried the door to the bathroom but it was loked and it was one of those sturdy doors, no braking it down. So I run to a small balcony through the kitchen and and reach over from it and climb in through the small 3 by 2 feet window of the bathroom......

The scene that unravels before me is my roommate continuing to scream her lungs out and a spider walking around on the floor between the shower and the door, she promptly jumped on me all wet and naked and of course we both tumbled to the wet floor.

After a couple of minutes of my eardrums being ripped to pieces and fighting to get back on my feet, I killed the poor bugger and some semblance came back. This was the first and only time in my life I was fighting to get a naked girl off of me.

I had to carry her out of the bathroom though the spider was dead and it took her a full 30 minutes to let go afterwards. I think for about 2 months she would go to take showers at a friends apartment down the road after that.

It was my first encounter of a real and true fobia and it did change my attitude towards such things as I didn't take fobias too seriously before that.

Candor
Candor Tag 1,891, 17:26

Fair to say Black Widow spiders aren't my cup of tea, and I see lots of them every year in my line of work. But I can't sleep in a room if one is alive in that room.

Not sure that is really a phobia, though my brother will squish them with his bare fingers which makes me look like a big baby. And I'm a BIG guy, and he's...not so big, lol. And 20 years younger.

But spiders in general don't really bother me. It's those shiny black bastards that get me jittery.

Alexander Valkor II
Alexander Valkor II Tag 1,891, 17:52

Lol voted

Edmond.D
Edmond.D Tag 1,891, 17:56

When I was younger, my older cousin told me that one day the sun would explode when it got too old, and that out entire planet would be destroyed as a result. She assured me that it wouldn't happen in our lifetime, but it was still years before I trusted the sunset again ¬_¬

Madacaion
Madacaion Tag 1,891, 17:59

Voted - for both the article and the fantastic comments!

Bia Pandora
Bia Pandora Tag 1,891, 18:04

"OK, so here's my faux-bia:"

I love that you get me, Max < 3

LOL these comments are AWESOME

FormulaUno
FormulaUno Tag 1,891, 18:30

Haven't been to the dentist in 16 years and counting, to hell with that psycho, he's terrifying!

But actually I'm more concerned with the irrational fear of being shot to death. Never been around any gun violence whatsoever, but I'm paranoid enough that its always in the back of my mind. Went to see "Hitchcock" shortly after the "The Dark Knight Rises" massacre and I was checking over my shoulder every time someone got out of their seat to go buy more popcorn. Irrational or not, I'm terrified I'll go down in true 1930's gangster style one day.

Cstarlight21
Cstarlight21 Tag 1,891, 20:04

I'm sorry but jumping spiders are FREAKY!!! I have a /slight/ phobia of spiders

But one of the biggest ones for me is needles. To the point I was barely able to even get my ears pierced. I remember as a little girl, the doctor would come in to give me a shot and I would immediately break down into tears from being so scared.

The source? I believe it happened when I was 5 years old. I had been "helping" at my parent's work and the back door was one of those super large heavy all metal doors. I had just come back inside and for whatever reason I stopped just inside the entrance. Well the coworker that I was helping let go of the door thinking I was inside and the door SMASHED my little finger. Well long story short, parent rushed me to the hospital and I had to go into surgery. All I remember is a bunch of nurses trying to hold me down while the doctor was sticking my fingers with a bunch of shots trying to numb it so that they could work on it. Needless to say, very traumatizing.

Hampton H. Hampton
Hampton H. Hampton Tag 1,891, 20:11

Nothing scares me except phobias, I have a phobia of developing a phobia, so I'm always ont he look out to make sure I'm not afraid of anything.

I've eaten spiders, punched snakes, kissed clown, skydove off of a helicopter ,spent 24 hours locked in a cofin, I drove 300 miles with the boogie man, I've picked up "odd" looking hitchhikers, I never smell milk beofre drinking it, etc etc, all becasue I'm afraid of being afraid of something.

BTTrambly
BTTrambly Tag 1,891, 21:15

After thinking about it, my phobia is not fitting in.

ronnyJnrJnr
ronnyJnrJnr Tag 1,891, 22:57

fenton...

 
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