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'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the region
Not a creature was stirring, not even an Indonesian;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Grimfather soon would be there;



The citizens were nestled all snug in the North West,
While visions of Q6 tanks to drive through the forest;
And mamma Nickerball in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the battleground there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from Red Army quarters to see what was the matter.
Away to the battlefield I flew in a dash,
Tore open some Indo's and lit up some of Gabe's Hash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But St Grimfather's sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a reckless driver, pushing the reindeer harder,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Grimfather.
More rapid than baglamas's panties come off,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them to show off;

"Now, CANDYKILLER! now, ARKAJDA! now, DONVIN and WINCENTY1!
On, SEISAN! on MERLE COREY! on, TWILIGHT SPARKLE and BIC DEWILLE!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"



As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Q6 tanks gold, and St. Grimfather too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Grimfather came with a bound.

He was dressed all in black, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of weapons he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack(age).

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old bastard,
And I laughed when I saw him, as he was plastered;
A wink of his eye as he delivered Gabe's new bong,
He smiled as he gave Tenshibo a leopard print thong;




He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!