Trashtalking eLithuanian articles

Day 1,983, 06:17 Published in Sweden Sweden by SintherX

Good day dear readers!

Today as a change to my usual articles, I will write it in English, as I am very willing for this to also be understood by our dear occupants, the eLithuanians.

Usually I am all about having a nice tone online, but I must now express my deepest concerns for our dear occupants. It has come to my attention that eLithuanian journalists lack the creativity and ability to write proper articles. I am considering making this a series of articles, but I will start off criticizing two "prominent" eLithuanian articles.

Article 1

The first eLithuanian article to be criticized is: "Meanwhile in Sweden and Finland". Now, I might have considered this of entertaining value when I was at an age of 13, when I had mildly started getting tired of spongebob squarepants, and my hormones were out of control. Now watching this at an older age (Older than I'd care to admit, and feeling even older when reading that article) I see nothing original with it, and nothing that would stimulate my brain. That is right, this article is braindead.

It contains two sentences, whereof one of those sentences aren't even grammatically correct. The first sentence is "Meanwhile in Sweden and Finland", nothing wrong with that. The second is "Meanwhile in Lithuanian". Are they trying to say that is what it looks like inside a Lithuanian, or are they simply unable to spell the name of their country in English?

All in all, my conclusion regarding this article is that my cat could make a better article. My cat is dead.

GRADE: F-

Article 2

This article is by miles more impressive than the previous one. It is called "Lithuania & Sweden war..."

I want you to take notice, before I start cutting the article into pieces, to the dramatic three dots in the end of the article-title. You know shit's about to go down.

I must go ahead and say right away that I've observed that the eLithuanians are very bad regarding punctuation. In these two articles, there are exactly ten sentences (according to what I've been able to tell), whereas there is only one sentence with punctuation, also this time three dots as in the title. Just an observation.

Regarding the article, it grossly displays the authors very limited knowledge of the English language. As I do not want to trashtalk, I will simply write the sentences written in the article, and provide a more.. correct alternative, or maybe just a helpful comment. Remember, I see myself as a journalist, and this is the way I would have written it if I was the eLithuanian journalist that had written this.

"Lithuania starts war" should be something more like "Lithuania declares war against Sweden!" Also there is a lack of punctuation.

"Sweden worry" should be "Sweden is worried by the assault of the Lithuanians." Also there is a lack of punctuation.

"And makes secret move" - first of all, does this refer to Sweden or Lithuania? I am very confused, and dare not further comment it. Also there is a lack of punctuation.

"Oh yes..." - No comment.

"Lithuania make a move" - is it really that hard to put a "S" behind "make"? Really? Also there is a lack of punctuation.

"Sweden boys can't believe" - I must admit I am impressed you managed to place a correct apostrophe in that sentence! But you might want to change "Sweden boys" to "Swedish boys". Just a tip. Also there is a lack of punctuation.

"Lithuania WIN" - S! Lithuania WINS! For f*ck sake! It is one f*cking letter! Also there is a lack of punctuation.

"Sweden defeated" - From my experiences, I have noted that it is undesirable to include lies in articles. Also there is a lack of punctuation.

GRADE: F+

Considering the amount of pictures in eLithuanian newspapers, and the amount in this newspaper, I doubt many eLithuanians have reached this point of the article. If you have, I am impressed.

eLithuanians, if you're going to trashtalk us, don't humiliate yourselves.



Thanks for reading.

Written by:


SintherX

(These are only my opinions and my viewpoints. Come at me haters.)