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Port Louis, eMauritius - eIndonesia has fewer scandals than most other countries for two reasons. Firstly, it is expected that any citizen with a position in government would have at least one mistress sheep, so to discover that an eIndonesian citizen has fathered a lamb is no scandal. Secondly, there are strict privacy laws, which prevent the details of a citizen's private life being published on eRepublik. This is why eIndonesian scandals tend to centre around military matters.

The eIndonesians are particularly proud of their nuclear mango. When everyone else in the eWorld has given up mango experiments, the eIndonesians still take great pride in blowing up small parts of the Phillipines with it. This does not sit well Crumoet, nor the South African Patriot and Sovereignty Union. "Mangoes are sacred," claims the eSouth African Presidential Candidate.

Recently, on Day 1,458, the PSU decided to send its boat, the Rainbow Dinghy, to harass the eIndonesian military, who were planning a nuclear mango test near Marion Island. The dinghy is equipped with a top-of-the-range Bose sound system, and is rigged to play the theme tune for Liewe Heksie on an infinite loop.

On Day 1,460, the Rainbow Dinghy was preparing to row from Port Louis in eMauritius when there was a terrific explosion on board. One crew member was slightly hurt, and the boat half-sank in shallow water. It soon became clear that the explosion had been caused by a Q3 pineapple. The crew member had a severe reaction to the pineapple juice, since he had brushed his teeth moments before. He claims to still have a bad taste in his mouth. The First Mate had to wade back knee-deep through the water to call for help.

Two eDays later, the chief eSouth African investigator, Rico Suave, arrested Loco Boy and Turenge who had been seen "acting suspiciously" around the pier. They claimed to be eBrazilian tourists, but their friends list was found to connect them to the eIndonesian Super Secret Service. Both turned out to be two eIndonesian not-so-secret agents.

eIndonesian President 30KeRTaJaYa was informed, but since, he has done nothing, seemingly hoping that the affair would blow over. It hasn't, so on Day 1,463, when fresh revelations were imminent, he ordered his former master, Admiral Proudmoore, to instigate a rigorous inquiry under Algrizs into what 30KeRTaJaYa called this "absurd and criminal affair". Naturally the inquiry would leave no sheep unmolested, and Algrizs has been 'ordered' to track down those responsible, "no matter how high their eRepublik status".

After just two and a half eR hours (that's three days in eIndo time), Algrizs reported back. Five agents including Loco Boy and Canester, he said, had been sent to eMauritius to gather information about the PSU's intention, and he had no reason to believe that the agents had overstepped their brief, or even had access to the local fruit market.

"Everything I have heard and seen makes me certain that, at governmental level, no decision was taken to damage the Rainbow Dinghy," he said.

However, the eSouth African government was not convinced that he had really gotten to the bottom of the matter. Meanwhile, journalists began their own investigations. On Day 1,464, The Daily Mampara published a story saying that a third team of agents, whom Algrizs had not been told about, had planted the pineapple on the Rainbow Dinghy and escaped undetected. The eIndonesian Minister of Defence, Matahari, who had ordered the surveillance of the PSU vessel, had apparently either approved the pineappleing or, at the very least, failed to prevent it. The eIndonesian Minister of Communication and Information, chester93, and the head of the Super Secret Service were both implicated; and President 30KeRTaJaYa's own military advisor had approved the funding of the operation.

Matahari repeatedly denied that the attack had been ordered by her department. Then, after being offered some eSouth African biltong by Crumoet, she changed her tune. It had been ordered by her department, she admitted, but the truth had been concealed from her personally. Subsequently on Day 1,465, she was to be disciplined. "In eIndonesian terms, that merely entails that her head is covered for half an hour with a brown paper bag, while someone dances around and insults her with caustic barbs." ~ Editor

The head of the eIndonesians Super Secret Service was also made to stand in the cabinet office corner for refusing to answer questions while wearing the brown paper bag.

Our reporter canvassed the opinion of regular eSouth Africans about the whole affair. "This whole gemors was caused by that Ma-se-harra guy," said Rexdeus, "you know, their Minister of Defense?" "Oh, do you mean Matahari?" asked Ex Banned'it. "Yes, that perp. She is more sinister than minister."

On 1,466, Admiral Proudmoore conceded that the agents who had pineappled the Rainbow Dinghy had indeed been following orders. He offered compensation to the family of the PSU crew member who was left sticky, and to the President of eMauritius. However, the eIndonesian government refused to return the agents, who had actually purchased the fifty cent pineapple and had placed it in the Rainbow Dinghy's picnic bag, for trial.

The eMauritian authorities tried Loco Boy and Canester for being party to the plot. They were found guilty of gross misuse of a sweet fruit, and sentenced to wash tropical fruits using only a toothbrush, on Mezu's pineapple farm.

The eIndonesians are still outraged. They have consequently threatened to bar eMauritian mangoes and eSouth African Jou-Ma-Se energy bars from being imported to eIndonesia. "Which is fine," says political analyst Rikki O'Neal, "eIndonesians, with their weak constitution, *sic*, are well known for their severe allergic reaction to our energy bars. However, they will never ban eMauritian mangoes. It is the staple of their bio-fuel programme which keeps the eIndonesian tank army rolling."

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This story is inspired by the Rainbow Warrior.
~ Another article consumed for eRepublik use