The Great Bro Purge

Day 2,662, 08:16 Published in USA USA by Derphoof

Recently, under the leadership of Aramec, following months of simple and uneventful rule, the BROFORCE lost its way. The Broforce has always been an MU that operates for entertainment purposes and for the sake of lulz. It was founded as a way to get away from the hubbub of other MUs who require people to actually fight. It was founded as a way to shirk responsibility and do nothing on the military end unless necessary.

While our MU has the motto “No plans, no rules”, we do have ideals that we hold up to be everlasting and pervasive of all we do.

1. We are Disgustingly Elite
2. We have no obligation to throw our military weight behind anything

Aramec violated these sacred unwritten tenets. He opened the MU to all those who wished to join, which is absolutely disgusting to the founders of the Broforce MU.

However, he also did the unthinkable. He made us do something.

When I asked Paul for comment, he said, “Such behavior and acts are utterly deplorable in this cabal of elitist puppetmasters Military Unit. I literally vomitted just from you recounting this to me. It’s absolutely disgusting. I mean, think of all the plebs who were mucking up the halls of our establishment, raiding our fridge, smoking our dank weed. S**t’s expensive, man. We can’t have that. How can I mock them when they’re right next to me? It’s awkward. We must return to our glorious roots.

Saraht0ga added, “I agree. This disgusts me to the point that I actually logged into this sorry game. The thought of us doing something so major is horrifying. I wanted to stab my eyes out looking at the news, but that would’ve required me to put in effort to do so. At the Broforce we are all about doing minimal work for maximum gain lulz.”

In response to this abomination, following the peaceful ceding of power from RainySunday to Derphoof, we have decided to return to our roots. We have outed all members of the Broforce except for the original and purest of Bros: Derphoof, Paul, and Saraht0ga.

BE IT KNOWN that the following members who were a part of the Broforce MU have been executed by firing squad at the request of Commander Derphoof:

Agent Chieftan
S H E L D O N
Poco Curantism
AndraX2000
mohammadh77
Fruitcommando
Juana Sycaeus
Delyruin
ArcKnox
Hekter
willmichael
Lawbro
SenoritaLaura
Sapucay rm
farid70


However, we have chosen a crueler fate for both Aramec and Rainy Sunday. We could not give them the sweet relief of death, letting them taste freedom from this game. That would have been far too kind of us. Instead, they have been locked in a dungeon in the basement of my house far beneath the depths of Broforce HQ where nobody can hear their screams and cries for help. Here they shall be brutally tortured until they have lost all will to do anything, just like the rest of us in the MU.

Regardless, they may still be executed at a later date.

By doing this, we have purged the Broforce of all impurities and returned the Broforce to it’s original, pure Bromantic state. Order has been restored. Glories shall flow from the MU as they have done in the past with astonishing eAmerican Space Flight and beautiful eAmerican Propoganda

The Great Bro Purge will go down as a point of restoration in our Unit. Their blood was shed to bring the original order back to the Broforce. Their sacrifice shall largely be forgotten.

Today is a glorious day. The Broforce will rise once more and become the preeminent useless elitist MU of these great United States.

Jk, we already are. Filthy plebs.