The Ballad of Brian Boru

Day 843, 23:53 • Published in Ireland Ireland • by James Keiller

I know this is way past the news cycle, but the muse was late.


I took the Danes in 1014
At the Battle of Clontarf
And I took the Irish Treasury
To give you all a laugh.

But my joke it flew above the heads
Of my intellectual inferiors
And as an exile I was forced to fly
To the wastelands of Siberia.

By hand and brain I laboured
Where the night time never ends
As I dreamed about my native land
And swore I'd make amends.

And when at last I ventured home
An older man and wiser
My President appointed me
Economical Advisor.

For in my isolation
I'd hatched a cunning plan
To make the world a better place
For the Irish Working Man.

But a prophet's never recognised
Upon his native soil
And hounded out of Office
My reward for years of toil.

So it's Ireland of the welcomes?
Or so we've all been told.
Well, the frozen Steppes of Russia
Weren't half as bloody cold.