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Welcome to the Evil Puppy Magazine! Today we will talk with the mr. X from New Zealand.


Xanthar watching the sheeps

TEPM: Thank you X for your time. Lets start with a simple question... how can you prove us that you are real, full blooded Kiwi?
XZ: I can give you a blood sample where you will find the DNA of a warrior... the testicular fortitude that only those of us born and bred in New Zealand truly have, or I can scan my birth certificate from Christchurch Hospital...whichever is easier.

TEPM: Is Xanthar your RL name or do you just like to be called Mr. X?
XZ: I always use Xanthar as a character name when I played Oblivion and Morrowind, so I added the Zaiban for erep... Call me whatever you want... X to the Z, Mr. X, or simply X...

TEPM: Do you have a white cat you stroke, when you are thinking of your evil plans?
XZ: No, I stroke something else when I think of evil plans

TEPM: Do you enjoy your eNZ celebrity status?
XZ: I don’t consider myself a celebrity... just a man doing his best to keep eNZ free

TEPM: Name one celebrity in eNZ you would love to get naughty with?
XZ: You of course


Whats that?!!?? Is that...

TEPM: I heard that you now live in US and you are in US Navy. So you work with a lot of seamen?
XZ: Oh yea... semen, I mean seamen everywhere

TEPM: Do you work on Q1 or Q5 battleship?
XZ: I like to think of my ship as a Q5 Guided Missile Cruiser

TEPM: What type of gun do you like? Big black one, middle silver one or little James Bondie thingie?
XZ: Big Black one of course

TEPM: What was the funniest incident in your Navy life?
XZ: Waking up in jail, covered in blood, and not having a clue how I got there... however, the disciplinary actions that followed were not funny

TEPM:Covered in blood? So did you meet Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs and Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo from NCIS then?
XZ: No, but I did meet some very angry Chiefs and the Executive Officer who released me with the promise that I would go to rehab... I went but hated it

TEPM: A seamen, ho*ker and a priest walk into a bar … continue...
XZ: The seaman knocks out the priest and knocks up the ho*ker

TEPM: My favorite weapon is ...?
XZ: The M2HB dual .50cal that I man when we pull in and out of ports... I go from 6 to midnight everytime I get to shoot it


....cookiezzz!!!!

TEPM: Which super power do you like to have and why?
XZ: Superhuman strength... I’m sure it would come in handy when we get in fights with Marines and what not

TEPM: What's your bad quality?
XZ: I have a bad temper at times and I don’t reason well when I’m angry

TEPM: If I take a look inside your refrigerator what would I find?
XZ: Left over’s from Easter and Labatt Blue, the best beer Canada has to offer

TEPM: Does virgin wool come from ugly sheep?
XZ: Naw, it comes from sheep that haven’t been slaughtered yet

TEPM: Have you ever been arrested?
XZ: Yes... although I’m not proud of it. Once by military police (see above question about funniest incident) for drunk in public and fighting the other for underage drinking when I flipped my car and almost cut of my head.... Lesson, wear your seat belts... they will save your life!

TEPM: What do you think is the most useless class in school?
XZ: Calculus and above... because we all use these in our normal boring day to day lives right?

TEPM: T.V. show you secretly enjoy?
XZ: The O.C.... I bought all four seasons

TEPM: One place you could travel right now?
XZ: New Zealand... I haven’t been home since 2000

TEPM: What is your biggest regret?
XZ: Leaving New Zealand... in my defense I didn’t really have a choice as I was 10 and my whole family left

TEPM: If you were an alcoholic drink what would it be and why?
XZ: Long Island Iced Tea. I am sweet at first, but the longer you drink me in, you see how big of an as*hole I really am



TEPM: Who is the first thing that you think about when you get up in the morning?
XZ: My wife and oh sh*t, I’m gonna be late

TEPM: What was the best thing before the sandwich?
XZ: I don’t have a clue... the rennaisance?

TEPM: If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor?
XZ: WTF? I can’t stop laughing long enough to answer that.

TEPM: How would you explain eRepublik in three sentences to your co-workers?
XZ: I think CC said it best in his interview. A made up world where pretty much anything goes, where you can spend real life money for imaginary gold and imaginary power. The best part of erep is the people that you meet and become friends with.

TEPM: What type of lingerie do you like the most? Do you own any sexy underwear? How often do you wear it?
XZ: I like those bras where the front is cut out and they boost the bewbs... my wife own’s the underwear, and no, it doesn’t fit... i tried 😛

TEPM: Who is the sexiest alien you have ever seen?
XZ: The chick from Species was out of this world... get it?

TEPM: What’s your favorite sexual position?
XZ: all of em

TEPM: Do you think Bass is a good kisser?
XZ: I KNOW he is a good kisser... he’s been kissing my as* since I got here

TEPM: If your life was a song, what would the title be?
XZ: Simple Man cover by Shinedown

TEPM: Would you play CrusaderCarl in a move and how would you feel about that?
XZ: Of course... I’d be old and probably drunk the whole time, grumpy and so, so sorry (to quote the man himself)

TEPM: Would you rather be rich or healthy?
XZ: Rich... who cares about health when you have money?

TEPM: Do you like to party naked?
XZ: I have partied naked from time to time.... rugby in college was an interesting experience, and as drunk as I was back then, I still remember my first two tries and my Zulu that night!

TEPM: Do you dance like a mad hatter when no one is looking?
XZ: Nah... I have the rhythm of a retarded rhinoceros

TEPM: Define a really funny question?
XZ: Anything that asks if Crusadercarl is sober... hysterical

TEPM: Thats it mr. X … Any last words 🙂 ?
XZ: Stay in school as long as possible... I was in Uni for 7 years, and I’m still not a doctor

This has been a “Interview with a eCelebrity: The Xanthar Zaiban story!”

Thank you for wasting your life with The Evil Puppy Magazine!


The Evil Puppy himself!


Old posts:
TEPM: Interview with CrusaderCarl