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Subscribe and win money!
Subscribe and win weapons!
Subscribe and win houses!

All of these newspapers around the world offer citizens around the world a very small chance to win a prize. Many people still subscribe and take part in this mass hysteric event. Though a small chance, a small chance is still a chance is it not?

So we at the Word Down Under have decided to give back to the public what we’ve taken from them! Well… we haven’t actually taken anything from the public so if anything the public owes us at the Word Down Under.

But we are not those kinds of people! We are not selfish! This is the same newspaper whose Chief Editor donated 10 GOLD to the good people at ausEaid! This is the same newspaper that is going to give you, eAustralia and good citizens of the eWorld, the chance to win BIG! All you need to do is subscribe and you will be in the running for one of our many, luxurious prizes!

Instructions:
All you need to do to be in the running for this spectacular competition is to subscribe to our newspaper (The Word Down Under) and vote this article up. When you subscribe please post a comment and mention the number quoted before you. (If you’re the first person to comment write “1”, after that the next person puts “2” etc.). We’ll use a random number generator in a week from now and the lucky winners will be announced!

Subscribe to our newspaper, vote this article up and you could win:



CAVIAR!!!
The good people at Caviar ‘R Us are going to give someone the chance to win a year’s supply of caviar! Mmmm, delicious fish eggs! This fine-dining shack is a great way to impress people regardless of your social standing. The poorest person in eAustralia can look like an eBillionaire just by serving some of these tasty fishy delights to their friends. You don’t even have to eat it; you could fill up bathtub with caviar and just lay in it! You can even use it for sexual pleasure! Did you know research by scientists proved smearing caviar over your body makes sexual experiences better? Amazing!

All the caviar you can eat for a year? Why wouldn’t you want that!? Thanks again to Caviar ‘R Us. Caviar ‘R Us – A Fistful of Fish in a can!



A SHACK!!!
The good people at Shambling Shelters have made us the most luxurious shack that you’ll ever own! Now I know what you’re thinking: this sounds too good to be true – but it is as good as it sounds eAustralia! Subscribing for our newspaper will give you the chance to win this ideal poor man’s family home. Everything you could want for in a home can be found in this shack: a toilet, sink, oven, table, some chairs and a bed! We can’t account for their condition, but they are there! Shambling Shelters will even throw in a few rodents of your choosing as well! Don’t like mice? Why not have some rats running around your home-sweet-home!

A free house? Sounds fantastic and possible thanks to the people at Shambling Shelters. Shambling Shelters – Build your disastrous dream home today!



GUNS!!! LOTS OF GUNS!!!
The good people at Gunz ‘N Bombz ‘N Stuffz are going to give someone the chance to cause some serious harm to the community – or the enemy should eAustralia be involved in any wars. Regardless once these babies are in your hands you can do with them as you please! Don’t like your neighbour? Shoot his face off! Have a few clients you’re trying to win over for that big, fat contract that’s worth millions? Give them some guns to sweeten the deal! To make this sound even better, we’re even going to throw in a few grenades and your very own bazooka!

More guns than you can count? I wish I could enter my own competition! All of this destruction provided to you by Gunz ‘N Bombz ‘N Stuffz. Gunz ‘N Bombz ‘N Stuffz – Nothing says “I love you” more than an AK-47!



eEUROPE HOLIDAY TRAVEL PACKAGE!!!
The good people at Icarus Airlines are giving you the chance to win an all expenses paid trip to eEurope! Why are they going to front the bill for this? Due to a legal matter we can’t say, but seriously do you need a reason to accept a free trip throughout eEurope? This is a once-in-a-life-time opportunity and with eEurope being one of the hottest places to go to at the moment, why wouldn’t you want to seize this chance? Fly to eSpain and fight some eFrench, or fly to eFrance and fight some eSpainish! Join eHungary in trying to get into eCroatia, or fly to eCroatia and laugh at all the eHungarians trying to get past their walls!

An all expenses paid trip to eEurope? I’d give up my children for that if I had any! All of this is thanks to Icarus Airlines. Icarus Airlines – Now #2 in aviation disasters!



MONEY!!!
Don’t like caviar? Already have a house? Not fond of guns? Rather tour eAsia instead of eEurope? That’s ok with us. Not everyone likes what we have to offer – but we know that everyone loves MONEY!!! We are giving away cold, hard cash and you could be one in ten? One in twenty? No. One in FIFTY people who will win over $5000!!! It sounds too good to be true right? $5000 in brand, spanking new notes and you could be one of those lucky fifty people who receive it! Cha-ching indeed!

So there you have it eAustralia, the wonder prizes that you could be lucky to win. Everything up for grabs and all you got to do is follow the instructions…

BUT WAIT!!! THERE’S MORE!!!



KITTIES AND PUPPIES!!!
The good people at Second-Hand Pets are putting in their contribution to this marvelous raffle. Twenty lucky subscribers are going to have the chance in winning a cute little puppy dog or kitty-cat. Everyone loves puppies and everyone loves kittens. Don’t like puppies or kittens? Well you’re more than welcome to use them for target practice or anything you want should you win one. Regardless of what you’ll do to them, you will be in the running for one of these cute little creatures.

Hats off to the guys at Second-Hand Pets. Second-Hand Pets – Rescuing pets from dumpsters since 1832.



ALCOHOL!!!
The good people at Pizz’ups are going to give ten lucky people a $1000 voucher to spend at their stores. Just think how much beer, spirits and wine you could buy with $1000! You could even buy those really expensive spirits and wines people see at stores. You know what I’m talking about right? It’s those really expensive bottles that when you walk pass them you’re like “Pfff, I hope the rich snob who buys that chokes on it and dies”. You could be that rich snob that chokes on the highly priced wine from the courts of the eFrench Kings!

Cheers Pizz’ups! Pizz’ups – No I.D. needed ‘cause everyone deserves a good piss up!

Not only are we at the Word Down Under offering you subscribers the chance to win the previously mentioned lists, but we just offered additional prizes! This contest is as good as it sounds and there are no strings attached other than subscribing! We thank you all for subscribing to us in advance and we wish you good luck in the raffle…

BUT WAIT!!! THERE’S STILL MORE!!!



A DAY WITH DYCEY FARLEY!!!
The First eLady of eAustralia loves the Word Down Under so much that she wants help its numbers grow! Yes, we might have spread a nasty rumour that her eHusband and our ePrime Minister cheated on her, but she still loves reading our newspaper. One lucky reader is going to have the chance to win Dycey for a whole day. For twenty-four hours you’re going to have the privilege of having breakfast, having lunch and having dinner with the First eLady! What are you going to do in between meals? Whatever you want - provided you keep your hands to yourself. Dycey knows three different types of Kung Fu and isn’t afraid to rip your heart out and eat it in front of you before you die should your hands “wander off into private territories”. Now that’s one wild prize!

Ok eLadies I know you’re feeling a little left out since the eGents are going to have a chance in winning Dycey. We haven’t forgotten about you!



A DAY WITH COREY BLAKE!!!
The Casanova of eAustralia! There are two things that Corey Blake loves most: this newspaper and the ladies. When he discovered that he could have the chance of helping out the Word Down Under by offering himself to some lucky female readers, Corey Blake jumped at the chance instantly! Well, we’re not sure if he DOES love the Word Down Under and we’re not sure if he even reads this newspaper, but he’s getting paid a lot of money from us to go out with some women so he doesn’t care! And you read that right eLadies – there’s so much of Corey Blake to go around that he is going to give ten lucky women the chance to win him!

You’ll be spending an entire day with this manly man doing whatever you wish to him – and he’ll do what he does best to you if you like! Careful eLadies, you might not go back to your eHusbands or eBoyfriends once you’ve sampled the Corey Blake experience.

So let’s recap the list of things that are going to be up for grabs in this wonderful and gigantic raffle.

A year’s supply of caviar (1).
A fully furnished shack (1).
A large amount of weapons (1).
An all expenses paid trip around eEurope (1).
$ 5000 in cold, hard cash (50).
Kittens & Puppies (20).
$ 1000 worth of alcohol (10).
A Date with Dycey Farley (1).
A Date with Corey Blake (10).

And how can you win?

Step 1 – Subscribe to the Word Down Under.
Step 2 – When you post a comment, write the next number following what the previous person put down.
Step 3 – Profit!

All winners will be announced within a week’s time. Good luck to all subscribers! Thanks for following the Word Down Under!

(Editor’s Note: By subscribing and entering this competition, you hereby forfit any chances of winning any of the prizes on offer. Furthermore, by subscribing to the Word Down Under you will be required to pay the newspaper five gold. Please send your money care of Dartreal @ the Word Down Under. Thank you!).