Revelations of Dio: America's Victory

Day 2,014, 21:03 • Published in USA USA • by Derphoof


I sat in my room yesterday, and pondered the events of yesterday. I was unsure of what to think, what to do, and how to react. I read the classics: Plato, Aristotle, Socrates and more... Yet, none of these philosophers could provide an answer for my troubles.

My mind was plagued, and no human reasoning could heal it.

Then, I heard a glorious and thunderous roar from the heavens. My body shook and trembled at it’s awe inspiring might, yet my soul was at rest. Upon my soul being at rest, I heard the words that any eCitizen longs to hear.

An omnipresent voice spoke to me from all sides, uttering but one phrase,

“Za Warudo.”

Time stopped, I fell to my knees, and wept as his glorious voice was too much for my mortal ears to bear. I felt unworthy for him to grace me with his most glorious presence.

However, DIO does as DIO pleases, with utter disregard for humanity.

As such, he crashed through my roof on his mighty steamroller. When he landed, a triumphant “WRYYYYYY” came forth, announcing his presence. Even so, his mighty voice and supreme power needed no introduction.

Knowing that this was now holy ground, I broke open one of my precious jars of sand and proceeded to spread it around the room.

Seeing that it was good, he spoke unto me. “I know what it is that troubles you. It is the dastardly Serbs. No matter what you do, they will not stop pestering the American people.

They constantly try to PTO your nation and shut you down at every turn. They even tried to deny your nation of membership in the Circle of Trust.”

With the comfort of his wise understanding I said, “Yes that is exactly what troubles me!

Dio spoke, but a simple phrase, “Come with me.”

I did not need to even grab him in any way. He simply willed it, and it was. He took me up to the clouds above, but I knew not where I was. I watched as many days flew by. Days and nights flashed by my vision with speed beyond comprehension. I saw wars unfold before me, but I knew not who was the victor and who was the loser.

Suddenly, time stopped once more.

It was daytime. The scars of war were visible across the landscape. Some buildings were still burning, yet others perfectly untouched. As we walked around, I still did not know where we were. I tried to decipher my location, but the language was foreign and the landmarks were not familiar. Jets were scattered in the sky and tanks littered the streets. This city was clearly the newest holding of a conquering nation.

We kept walking until Dio stopped me in my tracks. We stared across the street, at a building untouched by war. This was the sight I saw:



I saw our flag, but I knew not what the building was. The tanks in the street, the American flag, the planes in the air signaled that this was a great achievement... but, could it be?

Dio said unto me, “My child, you know where you are.”

Without thinking, I simply whispered... “Belgrade.”

Dio simply nodded silently.

I stood there, stunned. This was the National Assembly of Serbia. Mighty Serbia had been conquered by the forces of America and her allies in CoT. Good had beaten evil, and the hegemon was no more. The sight was so beautiful that it was beyond words. I looked at Dio, wanting some kind of explanation, but not knowing what to say...

He looked at me and soothed my soul with his insightful words, “For many years, the citizens have waged a war of words with one another. They said ‘Kosovo is Serbia’ and mocked those who suggested otherwise. Yet, soon enough, they would not be worrying about who owned Kosovo, but instead... who owned Serbia.

Yes, America can into Belgrade.”

My heart soared, leaping for joy. I said, “Speaking of Kosovo, who owns that region on the map?

“Emerick. Emerick is Kosovo.”

I felt as though I had been in a dream. This simply couldn’t be true, could it? America, marching into Serbia triumphant? Crushing the bastion of TWO’s deadly power?

Dio once again poured his wisdom upon me saying, “I know you are confused, baffled by the events I have shown you. Do not forget, this will be a long war. However, all is possible with my almighty hand. If I will it, it is done. I can keep nations under my heel, and kings as marionettes for my amusement. I mind not the cries of women and children who wail in the ashes of their homes, for my wrath is great, and know no bounds.

The streets will run red with eSerbian blood. The fire from Q7’s will rain down upon their cities with indiscriminate fury.

My people will be victorious.

I have willed it to be so.”

I wept upon hearing these words. I had seen all that would come and the indescribable joy that went with it. My heart had been filled with the light of his presence. Through his terrible and commanding presence, my body felt warm, as though it had been covered with the ancient sands.

After revealing his will to me, he began to take me back. We watched as the war flew by in reverse. Dio pointed out the great deeds done by the tanks of America and her allies. Damage flowed from their clicks as immense numbers blew by. Rockets and missiles flew in both directions in a furious rain of fire.

I was overwhelmed and could not wait to see the war in real-time.

Finally we were back in my room, the sand still covering the floor. As Dio climbed back onto his steamroller, I looked up to him, mesmerized.

“Dio, you have done marvelous deeds in my sight! Your glory is unsurpassed! Yet, when will the conquering of Serbia transpire?”

He replied, “You will not have to wait long, dear one. Your president has already approved the Natural Enemy proposal. Even now, it is being approved by congress. The rest will come in due time.

You may go through trials and tribulations, but they will all subside. You will be victorious.

My authority and strength are known far and wide. If I tell a mountain, ‘descend into the earth,’ so it does. For I am the one who cursed the Swedes and the Spaniards of old. Still the pig-disgusting ones eat their paella and wear their silly hats.

My will is eternal, and shall not be denied.”

With that, I simply nodded. I acknowledged his will and knew that nothing can stand in our way. For if Dio is with us, who can be against us? Those who oppose him will be vanquished, crushed under the mighty rod of his power.

With that nod, he said unto me, “fulfill my will.”

With those last words, he let out a loud “WRYYYYY” and ascended back into the heavens.

I collapsed to the floor, grasped at the sand, and pondered all that happened. As I stared through the gaping hole in the ceiling left by his celestial steamroller, I thought of all the images that passed before me: the American tanks, the rain of fire, the jets screaming through the skies, and our triumphant occupation of Belgrade.

I remembered it all and was at peace. All would be well, and I laid down to rest.

Dio is glorious and worthy of praise, for he has done marvelous deeds in our sight.