Join the new world

{Edited for moar Daleks.}

President Oinyo, perhaps I have been somewhat antagonistic in the past. Surely it is the right - nay, the duty - of a citizen of a great and free nation to speak out against the decisions of that nation's rulers when those decisions seem foolish and weak.



But no more! ¡No màs! You have finally come to your senses on the matter of the eSpanish and decided, wisely, that they are no longer welcome back.

"If eSpain would like to rent some of our land for CAD then we can discuss that. But the free ride is over. The eGov is embracing these new game changes and we are firmly planting our foot down to say "No more". We now hold the cards and we now will enjoy our freedom absolute."



This is a grand first step, sir, and I salute you for it. Do not falter - the nation of eCanada stands behind you. Steel your resolve and carry the conviction and determination of your people with you when you tell the eSpaniards, "¡Besar mi culo, cabrones!"

These new rules put us in a fine position, and we must not hesitate to capitalize on them. The other smaller nations of the world are surely moving swiftly and building momentum, and we cannot afford to sit around snuggling babies and congratulating ourselves when it is time to act.



"Perhaps even go on the offence more and try to become a empire lol."

Your words, sir. Perhaps you meant it as a throwaway joke, and many may have taken it that way. But I did not lol. I did not lol at all. Rather, a fire was lit in my gonads. An empire may be forged by the iron will and steely resolve of a bold leader, and you have a chance to be that leader. Sieze the initiative while it may be siezed, and sweep the globe with the terrible might of the red and white! The Great and Glorious Empire of Canada is our future - our destiny!



Now is not the time to hem and haw and twiddle about "weighing options" and "opening talks." Now is the time for blood and iron and fire, for a fierce strike against an unsuspecting foe - anyone who shares a border with us should now be considered an enemy, or at least a rival. They all have the same idea, and it will be the one who acts soonest that finally claims the ultimate prize.

Do not let your soft-hearted tree-hugging cabinet talk you out of decisive action this time around. You have started to grow a real set of balls - fertilize them by making firm and bold decisions! Drive us towards the building of an empire! Emperor Oinyo, they will call you. You will look back on your days of being a mere President as a grown man fondly recalls frolicking in the sandbox as a toddler.



Emperor Oinyo could be a man to be feared and respected. President Oinyo, that poor fellow has yet to earn proper respect. The Emperor Oinyo of the future smacks pathetic President Oinyo around like Maurice "the Rocket" Richard versus a hockey puck.

Sir, do not allow your soft-hearted cabinet to weaken your resolve. You have seized the momentum by the scrotum, and now is the time to give it a firm yank!