Off the Campaign Trail: Shenanigans
H.S Thompson
At 11am e-Rep standard I arose to the sound of Dinah Washington's What a Difference a Day Makes, crawled out of bed and brewed the coffee.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmBxVfQTuvI
As I collected the morning paper from the litter-strewn garden (Mad farewell for Caladbolg) the headline rea😛
United Irish Alliance Usurped,
Ronald O'Reagan denies being CPT.Crash
'Yeah, right.' I thought. Not making any unproven accusations of course, simply confirming the affirmation of the newspaper.
CPT.Crash is definitely NOT a multi of Ronald O'Reagan's. Absolutely no way, couldn't be, NOT as in NOT - you know, the negative. Like the opposite of CPT.Crash IS a multi of Ronald O'Reagan's. Which of course, he's not.
Hmm, anyway. So, before I continue, just to recap on last night's shenanigans, I was running against CPT.Crash for the party presidency of United Irish Alliance and as it turned out, I crossed the line with 22 votes versus his 17.
Some say it was his atrocious grammar and apparent disregard for text formatting which lost him the race. Others cite the accusation that CPT.Crash is in fact Ronald O'Reagan, as the main reason. Personally, I think it was his atrocious grammar and disregard for formatting what done it, because as I've said already, CPT.Crash is NOT a multi of Ronald O'Reagan.
Ronald O'Reagan doesn't even have multi's. No way, NOT. No multi's there, otherwise Admin would've found them! Sheesh.
So back to this morning/afternoon. I drank my coffee, showered, threw on my best Hawaiian and called irishbhoy1967 to see if he knew where the United Irish Alliance offices were. El Presidente hadn't a clue (I think he was playing golf and was unamused by my calling him - sorry boss). Anyway, I then called Kolshire - who has most, if not all the answers - and was duly advised of the address.
Upon arrival I was greeted, not with the customary political platitudes expected, but with a scene of the utmost depravity. On the (irc) wall '****en loser' was sprayed like an outgoing epitaph, at least that's what I thought it was until advised by my associate that it was a message for me.
'But I won,' said I, incredulously.
'I know Hunter,' said he, 'but he's probably butt-hurt. What with you usurping power so easily, he's probably right pissed, eh?'
'Butt-hurt is such a terrible affliction,' said I.
The rest of the day was spent installing a dope sound system and clearing out the rubbish around. There were a few items of interest and we thought it best to offer them here for sale:
1 modified Richard Nixon blow-up doll (call for details of modification). Price: Will pay to have removed.
List of workable proxies ordered alphabetically. Price: A world of Pain
1 50-box of unused, ribbed for pleasure John's never been opened. Price: Priceless
A map of the e-world (Some countries blackened) Price: 10IEP
Lots of fire-wood. Price: 0.15IEP per unit
The next few days will be spent drinkin', smokin' and tryin to figure out what to do with this new party here. Be advised, there really IS a dope sound system and you're all welcome to join us in a mammoth celebration - United Irish Alliance is now known as The Guardians of Ireland and if you wanna party everything's free but we'd appreciate a donation to the 'National Organisation: Removal of Rogues' The NO:RoR.
Comments
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^ This man is an eGod, but seriously he smells.
Guardians of IRELAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tell Nancy to change your diaper and put you to bed, Ronnie.
Admin will NOT have to look into this...
You are a disgusting excuse TO WIN !!!
Gj lad 🙂
I'm kind of happy right now...
Ajay, please start another Party. This is actually quite fun turning things around the other way!
:>
I enjoy seeing attempt after attempt at PTO and failure after failure due to our general lack of srs bsns and more enjoyment of general 'lulz' at overthrowing PTO attempts. In all honesty, we eIrish aren't afraid of PTO. Quite contrary, we like PTO, because nothing is more appealing to an eIrish than watching a PTO attempt fail miserably and watching the PTOers whine about unfairness. 😛
I would like to put in a bid on Johns. Very funny article.
Guardians of Ireland...
UNITE!
Brilliant
Ronnie has a stinky!
Brilliant mate Einfach so mein freund.
Anyways I would like to bring a couple beer cases with when I come to the party. Only one question: Am I allowed to burn the lawn?
I thought Ron said he was leaving?
Best article I've ever read.
Congrats!