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A man goes into a bar and tells the bartender to give him a double.

Then he slams it down and takes a picture out of his pocket, looks at it for a moment, then puts it back.

He then asks the bartender for another double.

He drinks it, looks at the picture, puts it back, and asks for another drink.

This time, the bartender is overcome by curiosity.

"What's that a picture of?" the bartender asks.

"It's a picture of my wife," the man slurs, "and when she finally starts looking good I'll go home!





A guy walks into a bar and sits on a stool. in front of him he sees a big jar full of change and a little card that reads:

Hello, if you would like to win all of this money you have to make the horse at the end of the bar laugh. COST $5

He puts in five dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Two minutes later they come out and the horse is laughing so hard that he p*ssed on the floor. The guy takes the money and leaves.

The next day the same guy walks in the bar again and sees the horse and the jar, this time it says: You can win all of this if you make the horse cry. COST $10

He puts in 10 dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Four minutes later they come out and the horse is crying like no body ever had.

The guy takes the jar but before he could leave the bartender asks "How'd you do that?"

The guy says "The first time I told him my dick was bigger than his and the second time I showed him!"