Graphics-less Campaign Article From Gnilraps

Day 2,872, 12:00 • Published in USA USA • by Gnilraps


GNILRAPS FOR CP/D

Dear eUSA,

I am formally announcing my candidacy for Country President/Dictator. (For what it’s worth, I myself invented the moniker “CP/D” - you can do the research yourself on the forum - so I think it is only right that I inherit the title at some point myself.).

One thing is for sure, this is a late start to a campaign. I hate that. I will try to explain myself below. But before I do, please understand that I have a pretty strong sense that I can produce a better team of leaders before the October Election than any of my potential opponents. I think this because I have made every effort to stay 100% connected at all times in this game. I probably even have better international connections than my opponents despite the fact that I’ve not held any official government position in about a year!

Oh, and another thing. I despise the notion that I will have to leave EZC for a month in order to do this. I love me some EZC more than Snoop Dog loves him some smoke… So don’t be surprised if I try to propose some half-cocked way of me leading eUSA from EZC instead of USAF… we’ll see… I won’t press the issue, I promise.

OK, so why the hell is an already fully-accomplished IN EVERY WAY old-timer like Gnilraps running for CP/D?

Hmmmm… Maybe I’ll delay answering that for a little while longer. Because that is a trick some authors use to get people to read more of their BS articles. And what am I if not a “BS author”?

So before I answer the question, let me advance another thought:

eUSA sucks.

BSP has been saying it for months.
SFP has been showing us that forever.
WTP has been proving it to us for years.

The only reason eUSA is a top 10 eNation is because we still have some numbers. That’s good. But our numbers are not increasing in relation to anyone else’s numbers. So the only answer to the sustained excellence of eUSA lies in Foreign Relations.

I’m going to talk out of school here. I’ve been asked by nearly every previous CP/D (as well as their opponents) to serve in some official capacity or another. Ask them. They’ll tell you truthfully. And each time I’ve been asked, I’ve had ONE QUESTION ONLY, “what do you plan to do about Foreign Affairs?” Go ahead, PM them. Ask them. That’s what I’ve asked.

Because after 6 gaddam years it’s pretty much been proven that we are not going to have a legitimate baby boom.
So we better lock ourselves into a Foreign policy that is consistent, viable, and sustainable.

This means we need legitimate enemies.

It also means we need powerful allies.

And it means we need to solve the “Serbia” problem.

What is the “Serbia Problem”? It is the fact that Serbia hates us, but there is almost no way to survive in this game without them.

F*ck you, Serbia. Let’s be friends.

(Israel Stevens is one of my longest, most well-established relationships of respect in this game. He recently called attention to the problem by referring to it as the Third Rail. He’s one of the best journalists this game has seen. Read his piece. Then try to fathom an eUSA that is directly at odds with Serbia. I plan to share some statistics about this soon.)

But I feel like I’m rambling.

I still owe you an answer.

Why for pete’s sake would I want to submit myself to the rigors of CP/D when I’ve literally accomplished everything this game has to offer?

Answer:

I love it.

Look, the truth is, nobody in USWP (except me) thought highly enough of Mr. Carey to even nominate him for the USWP endorsement. Now say what you will about USWP, but one thing you cannot say is that they are out of touch. From recently retired USAF CO and USWP PP Dinnyin to fly-in-ointment Tenshibo to biggest-bastard-ever pfeiffer, USWP is still as connected as any other party. But Mr. Carey just failed to inspire. Dude, I love you. I think you’re great. But now I gotta run against you.

So those m*f*rs in USWP nominated me.

Anyway, I hate long articles. I will have lots more to say (as you can tell). Lemme publish this trash and get on to more interesting stuff.

Get ready to vote for Gnilraps for another badass month of fun in eRepublik. You know you loved it last time. Let’s do it again!