eKiwi Chronicles - Meeting The Locals

Day 2,486, 09:22 • Published in South Africa South Africa • by Jezzine

Another quiet day on the beach as war seems to have evaporated.



Nice surprise this morning for Charlie as a fellow ekiwi sent his girlfriend over so he doesn't get lonely. A pic of the two of them:



Had a local official pitch up looking for the 10 foot vicious bird I apparently own who attacked somebody last night. Turned the place upside down looking for it. Rather hard to hide something that big if I did have one. Charlie's victim obviously was too embarrassed to say what actually attacked him.

He then asked me whether I had a permit for the 2 birds. I asked what permit no one told me I needed a permit. He then proceeded to hand me a fine plus 2 permits for Charlie and friend. Total cost:

Fine: 500 ZAR
2 Permits 500 ZAR

I was rather mad but didn't argue too much in case he started looking too closely at the upturned turf where I covered up the pool of blood.

After he left a neighbour invited me to a braai. What the locals call a barbeque. Headed over with some kiwi rum besides him saying not to bring anything. They had some local beer and something called Klipdrift.









Was having a great time until I heard screams again from next door. My host and I rushed over but by the time we got there, their was silence.

Moving cautiously towards the house we almost tripped over a body sprawled on my lawn. Seems Charlie had, had enough of unwanted visitors and to impress his girlfriend had finished this one off.

A quick search of the body and we found no identification but a notebook written in what looked like indonesian. So maybe there is some truth in what the Lazos are telling us about the NE.

My host looked at the body and then at me. Just then Charlie and his girlfriend stepped into the light both covered in blood and a mean look in their eyes. He said "Well let me get my boat, you find something to weight him down."

Taking the birds inside I first placed them in the bath with a small amount of warm water to soak. Then hunted around for a sheet and a large stone. By the time I got back to the body my host was back.

We headed out to see and weighted down the body and tossed it into the sea a few kilometres out. He then left and went back to his guests while I cleaned up the two kiwis and did my best to cover up the new patch of blood without making it to obvious.

Hopefully the word got out about my 10 foot monstrous bird and I'll have no more unwanted night visitors.