eFather

Day 2,333, 10:37 • Published in Romania Romania • by Real Vasi

It seems like I lost my writing appetite lately, but worry not, I’ll make it up to you by doing something special.
Because of that, today I bring to you an interview with no other but our eFather, Plato.
Enjoy!

Hello Plato. I mean, hello, eFather.
I heard you were gone for some time, spending quality time in various parts on earth.
In fact, here is a picture from you Paybook profile:


Hello everybody. I mean, hello eChildren.
Indeed, I was out for a while, enjoying myself, spending your my money... you know, living the dream.

Nice, but you know what they say, that money doesn’t buy happiness?!

Money doesn’t buy happiness?
Well it does buy a speed boat.
Have you ever seen a sad person on a speed boat?
You can’t be sad in a speed boat.

Is it true that you plan to introduce Cuba to game, only because you saw its cash potential?

Look man, I’m a business man, so of course I’m interested only in its cash potential giving the players something new just to keep them entertained.

I see. Tell me how you see Erepublik today. How about in the future?

Man, Erepublik is all about the players. I see lots of players with cash potential. Let me tell you something about the players. In my opinion, there are two types of players: players who buy gold, and dirty fu#%&ng liars.

Whoa man, that’s a pretty harsh statement. Aren’t you worried that people will get angry and leave the game?

I’m old enough to know that it’s less important to have many free playing players and more important to have gold buying ones.

OK, let’s try a different approach. Have you heard about that couple that meet on Erepublik and later married?

Well, people say that love is the best feeling. But I think that finding a toilet when you are having diarrhea is better.

So you don’t care about love?

Let me tell you something about love: I’m disgusted when I see some old guy with a younger woman. Or a younger guy with a younger woman. Just couples. Or groups. Any person.

I must admit, I am shocked by your honesty.

Truth is, being honest may not get you many friends, but it will always get you the right ones.

So what are your plans regarding the future of Erepublik?

I plan to introduce a brand new feature: players will pay for every day that they don’t log in to Erepublik.

I’m sure that this will stimulate the number of active players.
Is it true that you’re working on a new strategy game, and that you plan to abandon Erepublik.

Man, please... don’t get me started, because my brakes are broken and I’m not gonna stop!

Well, I kinda hoped this will be a funny interview, but it seems things escalated in a too serious manner.
Can’t you say something funny, for the sake of this newspapers reputation? Please?!

Sure. I like to read comments in articles and I see lots of people with grammar issues.
So I tell you this: Grammar = The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Thank you for reading and special thanks to Plato, our eFather.