Cavan Jokes

Day 906, 15:57 • Published in Ireland Ireland • by Ronan Donovan

1)
Q: Why did the Cavan Man put double glazing to the front of his house only and not the back or sides?

A: So the kids wouldn't hear the ice cream van pass by!

2)
Tierney and Briody were hacking their way around the Golf Links in Cavan.

"I'd move heaven and earth to break 100," puffed Tierney as he dug at the ball in the rough. "Try heaven," says Briody, !I think you've alkready shifted enough earth."3300.

3)
Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in Monaghan's flat in Dungarvan when Sean O'Toole loses €700 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up. Michael Lennon looks around and asks, 'Oh, me boys, someone's got to tell Sean's wife. Who will it be?'

They draw straws.
Cavan Colquhoun picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet and gentle and not to make a bad situation any worse. 'Discreet? I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me.' announces Cavan.

He goes over to O'Toole's house and knocks on the door.
Brenda O'Toole answers and asks what he wants. Cavan declares: 'Your husband just lost €700 and is afraid to come home.'

'Tell him to drop dead!' snarls Brenda. 'I'll go tell him.' says Cavan.