Announcing the Environmental Protection Agency

Day 3,174, 09:23 • Published in USA USA • by Environmental Protection
Nothing But Flowers
Day 3173 of the New World
July 28, 2016



Our Government has a lot going on; surprisingly a lot considering the general state of the game. In fact, if we compare the number of Government agencies today with the number of government agencies during the days when three and four times the population was active, I’d say that the eRepublik environment is ripe for growth in this game.

Seriously, if you ever gave a half a thought to inviting your friends to play eRepublik, RIGHT NOW IS THE BEST TIME TO DO SO. Anyone who joins now has the capacity to become extremely valuable as an Airborne soldier due to the new military mechanics. Add to that the proliferation of busywork our Government produces and the fields are ripe for harvest if you know what I mean.


Each One Reach One


Or something like that. Just go recruit someone to play this game. Who knows, maybe they turn into a whale and you will find yourself rolling in gold too!

But this is not a rah! rah! recruitment article. Yes, the environment is perfect for a baby boom. And yes, this is an article about the environment.

Just not that one.





Today I am proud to announce a new arm of our Government, the Environmental Protection Agency of the eUSA.

Which means what I’m really here to talk with you about is GLOBAL WARMING. Yes… THAT environment.





Sadly our dear Pluto has cursed the face of our eEarth with a blight. He’s paved paradise and put up a parking lot. Actually I wish it were only just pavement.

What’s actually befallen us is much worse. It’s pollution. And as you probably know by now, pollution is killing your profits. Come to think of it, Plato seems to have created a better world than the one we live in…

Ending pollution actually benefits industry!

And that is why your desparate national leaders have acted so quickly to create a brand new arm of Government, the EPA. Just don’t judge them too harshly for recruiting me to lead it.





What will the EPA do?

Great question.

The role of the Environmental Protection Agency will be to advise citizens who wish to become economically successful by encouraging pollution-reducing practices.

The EPA will have three spheres of activty:


Research, Consultation, and Publicity


Each branch of the EPA will be staffed by eager and intelligent servants whose desire to help the country may one day also lead to the opportunity to lead the country. In other words, the EPA is a great place to get “noticed” as an up-and-coming player in eUSA.





Let’s go into greater detail about each of the EPA’s three branches.

Research
The research wing of the EPA will be crunching numbers constantly. Our goal is to interpret economic activity in terms of its effect on Pollution. The research wing will keep up-to-date statistics on fluctuations and trends so that anyone who wants to establish business in eUSA will be armed with solid data to make wise choices.

Consultation
But not everyone is equally able to interpret data. Sometimes it takes a special gift to be able to read statistics and translate that into a “wise choice”. This will be the role of our Consultation wing. Your EPA consultants will be available to you to answer questions about future business plans, expansion, production schemes, and best practices leading to maximum profits. Your EPA Consultant, armed with the data provided by the EPA Research wing will be like an expert business manager that you won’t have to pay.

Publicity
Finally, we at the EPA understand that not everyone is “on board”. Frankly there are several problems for Publicity to deal with. For one, there’s some two-clicking going on in the economic industries. These people can be reached, but it takes a fervent effort. Then there are the stubborn ne’er-do-wells who think that the way they’ve been doing business is necessarily the best way to do business because it’s the way they’ve always been doing business. They can be reached too. These groups of people, along with a few other types, will be the burden of the EPA Publicity team.





Are you interested in getting involved?

Our Research Team needs citizens who can think mathematically, can handle complex spreadsheets, can do magic with graphs and charts, and who can maybe handle the eRepublik API.

Our Consultation Team needs citizens who are friendly, don’t mind interacting with people, and are active enough to respond to requests in a timely manner. Open-mindedness here is a plus.

Our Publicity team needs citizens who write well, can do creative graphics design, are persuasive, and want to work as a team.


Contact me if you are interested.





In today’s eRepublik, the Environmental Protection Agency of the eUnited States of America is a MUST. We simply cannot allow these game mechanics to go unaddressed, nor can we expect every citizen to demystify the complex issues for themselves.

It is time for the EPA to champion the cause of making an eUSA that is Green in more ways than one.

Watch for our publications in the Media. When you see them, shout them. Even if the information does not pertain directly to you, your shout may be the link that helps someone else make the wise decision. And when a citizen of eUSA becomes more GREEN, the whole nation benefits.

We are your EPA.

Gnilraps,
Director, EPA