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A cow in the hand is worth two in the pasture

Tag 1,947, 07:55 Veröffentlicht in United Kingdom Polen von mick cain

Subject: FW: The world economy explained with two cows



The world economy explained with two cows.
Dead easy....why do economists study for years and can't get it. ?
....... G.
The world economy explained with two cows



SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.



COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows

The State takes both and gives you some milk.



FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.



BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.



TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.



VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.



AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.



A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.



AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you do not know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.



A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.



A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.



AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You worship them.



A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Both are mad.



AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.

You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.



AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.



A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have two cows.

The one on the left looks very attractive.



A GREEK CORPORATION

You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.

You eat both of them.

The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.

The IMF loans you two cows.

You eat both of them.

The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.

You are out getting a haircut.



AN IRISH CORPORATION
You have two cows
One of them's a horse!

Also listen to this,it's brilliant
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=MZ35SOU9HTM

 

Kommentare

mick cain
mick cain Tag 1,947, 07:56

Mooooooooooooooo

Dr Hugh Jardon
Dr Hugh Jardon Tag 1,947, 08:15

As always...brilliant : D

helpmeslack
helpmeslack Tag 1,947, 08:18

voted for horsemeat

mwcerberus
mwcerberus Tag 1,947, 08:36

i like it

Geoffery Openshaw
Geoffery Openshaw Tag 1,947, 09:33

Brilliant

alexg737
alexg737 Tag 1,947, 09:59

votado!

WayneKerr
WayneKerr Tag 1,947, 10:08

lol'd

GameChanger
GameChanger Tag 1,947, 17:37

Not new, but voted for chuckles

Strength and Honour

ViciousDeeds
ViciousDeeds Tag 1,947, 23:42

voted, i like the Iraq one

Piran
Piran Tag 1,948, 02:12

Nice article lol

Professor Evil
Professor Evil Tag 1,948, 06:35

"You have two cows. Both are mad."

Hahahaha

john GB
john GB Tag 1,948, 07:35

Great article. Thanks

CptChazbeard
CptChazbeard Tag 1,948, 15:26

Genuinely laughed through most of these. Thank you o/
Votado

Viridi
Viridi Tag 1,948, 16:22

heh

Val3s OBrien
Val3s OBrien Tag 1,948, 17:31

Sorry had to
http://9gag.com/gag/6653870

Aries Prime
Aries Prime Tag 1,948, 20:18

hehe I like the corporations.

Viridi
Viridi Tag 1,948, 20:26

didnt realise this was copied

i take back my vote

Ando Calrissian
Ando Calrissian Tag 1,948, 00:57

Aye, I remember having received this quite a few times by email chain-letter over the past 10 years (albeit without the final Greek one, which is a newer addition). Still, always makes me chuckle.

mick cain
mick cain Tag 1,949, 01:41

yer i get emails like this all the time,i just like to share the half decent ones with you guys:)

Boklevski
Boklevski Tag 1,949, 02:37

I don't really care whether it's copied or not... if it wasn't posted it, I wouldn't have read it.

And I'm glad I did; had a pretty good laugh... voted!

Douglas Mckeever
Douglas Mckeever Tag 1,949, 02:57

Good post. The capitalism one's a load of rubbish, though.

IfIWereARichMan
IfIWereARichMan Tag 1,949, 06:22

Hilarious, article and link both.

 
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