[TDK] 6.

Day 2,938, 01:17 • Published in USA Pakistan • by Nastoor



Amare et sapere vix deo conceditur.

Are you reading this? Good. I want you to read every word that I have written down. Relate it to yourself if you want. Read every line, every letter, and don't skip any sentence. Because I know, some of you are crazy enough to feel the same.

Oh and, theme music. ^_~
Nov 17, 2009.
The date I first laid eyes upon her. Love at first sight, I tell you. The feeling was intense, a thirst I didn't know I had was quenched. I wrote the date down because I knew it wasn’t a day like any other.
I somehow figured out her name and wrote that down too, I looked her up online for anything I could find about her so I could know her better, and obviously impress her for whenever I’d the chance to meet her. Facebook, Google, everything. From what I was able to find, she was a bit young but a thriller. A little clumsy, but intelligent. I asked my friends if they knew anything about her so I could use it to my advantage. To say the least, I was hooked.

A boy’s first love.

At first, it was only a passing glance, a soft whisper. I'd spend a minute or two each day with her. She was the beloved. Every moment together made me long for more. She was a drug, the strongest high I’d ever had, yet this ecstasy felt permanent. And like every drug, it just made me long for more. Each moment spent with her, I could only think of the next. To put it shortly, she had everything I could ask for.
Yet it felt as if she were indifferent. Every rose I gave her, she gave me none back. “Give her time”, I thought, “She’ll come around”. And like that, time began to pass.

Fast forward 6 years.

We just passed 6 years together. My love for her is unwavering. Not a moment passed where she was not my first thought. Every thing of beauty I laid my eyes upon, reminded me of her. 6 years gone. 72 months. Not a day passes where I do not speak of her, or write to her. I buy her presents and gifts on every special occasion, we traveled the world together, stayed at many different places, met many different kinds of people. We had days of fine dining where we enjoyed the greatest luxuries this world has to offer, and days where we had to survive on bread and canned food. We made many memories together. Memories that may never fade away.

One that has stuck with me was a night in Jerusalem, Israel. This was one of the most beautiful cities in the world, and one with great history. I’d always dreamt of going there. Our plane had just landed and unfortunately we had not booked any hotels yet. And on top of that, it was one of the wettest nights that city had ever had, rainstorms like never before. We were out with our backpacks, and were exhausted. I was getting worried, yet she still had the calm pristine look on her. I was scared of what might happen on a dark, wet night in Jerusalem, yet she smiled. I looked at her. “May I confess something?”, I said. “Yes.”, she replied. “You have the prettiest smile I have ever seen.”, “May I confess something as well?” she answered. “Yes.”.
“It only exists because of you.”. And it was in that moment, I felt infinite.


But there is a tragedy you must know of.
She's dying. You heard it right, passing away slowly into the abyss, and there's nothing I can do to stop this. How she's changed my life, shaped me into the man I am today. Every time I sit next to her, it just feels like my world is fading away. She’s lying there, barely breathing. If I had her with me, I could conquer the world. I could win any war, I could fight any battle. Her hand in mine, and I would become the master of the universe. But she is slowly dwindling away. I hold her in my arms when I can, but the “experts” say there’s nothing that can be done. I cry until my body can not make more tears and I scream until my throat gives way, “There is still time”. “Don’t give up”, “Do something, you can save her!”. But to no avail. She asks me to stay, I say ‘forever’. She says don’t give up, I say ‘never.’

I still hope she doesn’t leave me. But that is the only thing I can do, hope. Her memories will stay with me forever. She is the one who turned me from a boy to a man. That fateful winter evening I was a 13 year old boy, today I’m an independent man. I am a scientist in the making. In these years a lot changed in my life; I got accepted into college after 10th grade, started college, got my first car, got my second car, got into my first accident, my second accident, my third accident, my fourt… you get the point, got my first cell phone, made friends, got into fist fights, went around the world, got a dog, learned to program, fell in love with science, people died around me, people were born, I stopped believing in God. Yet one thing didn't change; every night, before going to bed, she was the one who occupied my thoughts. She was my temple, my mosque, my church..

I don’t know what I’ll do once the inevitable happens. I wish I could stop this, but I have accepted I can not. I accept this tragedy. Better to have loved, than have never loved at all. Every scream will only waste breath; every tear only sweat. My hand may never hold another again, my heart may never love one like her. But until she is here, I will love her. For the past 6 years, she has stood by my side, and me by hers. In the dead of winter, she made me warm, in moments of loneliness, she gave me company. It may be a lost cause, but I still hope.

Till death do us part.

Stay with me, my love.

Do you want to see what she looks like? You are already looking at her.



Yours,

The DarkKnight