[GBM] Esteemed NPR Funding in Jeopardy

Day 2,812, 19:12 Published in USA USA by Paul Proteus
All the news that....well we're printing it anyway


This piece is a satire, but meta-media really is the coolest


Goodbye Blue Monday's research team tells me this is what a radio looks like

Washington, Day 2812 According to socialites and political strategists, the great democracy we cherish, which has weathered assault by colorfully flavored Pizza and literal dictatorship, is now under the greatest threat of all. The lack of high quality internet radio.

According to political strategists, free trade democracies require numerous institutions to flourish and allow stable transfers of power and regime change, chief among these being online call in radio. According to BROFORCE ™ political specialist, and living person who definitely gave this paper a quote, Tenshibo, "Essential National Programming Renaissance, also known as eNPR, is the first step society takes from the chaos of anarchy to a social contract, and the development of political debate the final step before what can only be described as Utopia."


Tenshibo continued, "Fringe candidates such as Paul Proteus would never have been elected had voters"...wait a minute [redacted]

So, is America heading towards this Brave New World of Blog Talk Radio? While certain trends are promising, including the appointment of the first horse star, in notable personality Derphoof, of eNPR under the Bubblar administration, sources reached for comment tell this fine publication that, like last month, this country will probably lack a debate between candidates, as the candidates have failed to agree to meet to spar over the air.

Though this publication can only speculate as to which candidate backed down, without editorializing this writer would like to note that he wished he knew that was an option before Gnilraps owned his shit four years ago.

Occasional co-host and stable hand, as well as potential future vice President, Aramec, spoke to the publication under the condition of anonymity saying that "well, I hope everyone comes together, because without a Presidential debate, this country is over, I might as well move to Canada, well not eCanada, I hate those guys, but you get the point."

And according to one Broforce member, and representative sample of the population, Saraht0ga: "Yeah that's probably why I don't play this game anymore."


Think of the children, and the birds. Especially the big ones.

Without sounding preachy, this intrepid reporter wonders out loud what happened to this great nation, and without paying too much* attention (*virtually none) to the political atmosphere, really wishes there would be a debate because he's co-hosting eNPR tomorrow and thinks debates are fun.

#fundNPR2015

This has been a GOODBYE BLUE MONDAY SPECIAL REPORT, come back next week same bat time same bat station for more hard hitting journalism~



Your moment of zen:


Even joke debates are fun, see?


Proteus out