'Tear Jerker'... or if you want, 'The Jerk'

Day 1,617, 14:30 • Published in South Africa South Africa • by Luc Praetor


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Editor ~ "Watch closely, the PSU have bought the rights (from the IA) to commandeer every 25th frame of your eRepublik experience"
•W•A•T•C•H C•L•O•S•E•L•Y• you WILL VOTE Luc Praetor in Limpopo!
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Paulshof, Johannesburg - PSU congressional nominee Luc Praetor said Tuesday that the pension system needs to be overhauled to protect the pension rights of eSouth African employers.

"More than one-third of all workers who are participating in pension plans in eSA now get a nickel back when they retire", Praetor said.

"Workers are losing their pension rights every day when their companies go bankrupt, merge with other companies, go out of business, or when the players fall victim to facetious and draconian game updates from Plato. In addition, many workers lose their pensions when they purchase Q6 weapons on the marketplace."

"As a result, already a fraction of the 30 workers now covered by pension plans will never receive the golden nickel benefit. This system has to be protected!"

In addition to pension reform, Luc Praetor said, "Social Security benefits should be improved. It needs some flashing LED lights, or something", afterwhich nominee Praetor stormed into the nearest Costas.



Modimolle (formerly Nylstroom), Limpopo - Rhinoceros hunters wanting a license this year should make sure their applicatoins arrive at the Gauteng Gaming Commission offices between June 1 and June 15, 2012.

Vietnamese nationals need not apply, as long as they have donated to to the Scrumptious Canned Animal Rhino Fund (SCARF) of eSouth Africa. Luc Praetor wagered, "If these so-called Rhino Hunters want to get rhino horn... let them come and compete in my Rhino Horn Extravaganza weekend at Mabula next Friday", to which Praetor had to quickly retreat after being pelted with faux rhino calf tearlets.

Opponents to the SCARF have voiced concerns, but token IA comrade Hiert-jy-wat-kyk-jy "Kortbroek" Dwaasbroek has dispelled rumours that eSA is enabling the Vietnamese addicts with grounded horn.



Vereeniging, Gauteng - Editor ~ "Tell me when Vereeniging isn't part of Gauteng any more... that scab has to be burned off the provincial slate..." (apologies Vereeniging, but you know you would be missed by Vanderbijlpark).

Miss Margaret Ellen van der Schyff and Tshipo Mabela both of Johannesburg, got married at 14:00 on Sunday at Magaliesburg Baptist Indaba Church.

Parents of the couple are Mr and Mrs John L Alexander and Mr and Mrs RX Mabela, both couples of Naboomspruit, South Africa.

Mr van der Schyff gave his daughter in marriage. Her gown of tafetta and lace was accented with krimpvark pens, dassie velvet ribbons, with a hint of mampoer-bessie essence. A tiara adorned her steenbok horned veil. She carried freshly plucked Baberton Daisies.

A reception at the home of Mr and Mrs Mabela followed. The couple will live in Brakpan after a short trip to the Mid-Vaal dam.

Luc Praetor interrupted reception proceedings to comment on the state of Congressional Seating and luncheon arrangments, but let the happy couple toast their wedding in style.

Unfortunately the new groom, Mr Mabela, is heard to be recovering from severe wounds inflicted by the gift of a traditional Turksvy Topiary Wreath presented by Mr Praetor.

The new bride Mrs Mabela can be found and contacted at Mr Mabela's side at the !Xn-ta hospital of Tzaneen.

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•Y•O•U A•R•E• feeling sleepy - Narcosleepy
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~ Another article consumed for eRepublik use