Why you (and Homer J. Simpson) should cheer for the Vancouver Canucks

Day 1,907, 15:38 • Published in Canada Canada • by Senor Spielbergo

When I was originally donated the money to start this paper, it was for the purpose of writing TCO recruiting articles So Join Today!

Yet I write to you today about a far more important cause - the Vancouver Canucks need more fans, and I was hoping to recruit you (and Homer J. Simpson). Why should you cheer for the Canucks you might ask? What if you're a fan of the Maple Laffs, the Spoilers, the Lames, the Frogs 'Abs, or the other 25 teams that no one cares about? My answer is simple: whenever Vancouver loses in the Stanley Cup Finals, they riot party. It's fun for all (except downtown businesses) - the drunken rioters partiers, the nightstick-wielding police, and anyone not from Vancouver, as they get to laugh at a normally world-class city tear itself apart over a game. It also makes Surrey look like a nominally less violent place, if only for a day.

Still not convinced? A few pictures and a video of last year's (ok, 2011) festivities:

Everyone gathering around the bonfire to toast smores, flip vehicles, you know, whatever:



- check out the guy at top right, he's like "dude, I totally scored a hubcap!"

Good Friends:


- lawn chairs, the "in" accessory for the party fan

Our buddies in the po-po joining in on the fun:

- Boys just waiting for the Timmy's to arrive, and when it does...




The annual "free stuff* giveaway"
*note that stuff actually isn't free


- Yes, that guy is stealing a mannequin


- Because nothing says "pimp" like a sweater around the neck while holding a large purse

And of course, can't forget about the sexy times (though she does have nice legs):



And people getting hit in the balls, 'cause that's always funny

So feel free to root for the Canucks this season (and message Homer J. Simpson to do so as well, as he likes your love), because if anything, at least I'll have some more people to drunkenly commiserate with come April/May/June.