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Potpourri

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"Either do it or don't do it. No more wishy-washy, half-hearted attempts. Either say 'no' to achievement or dig in and get to the bottom of the persistent incongruence between what you say and what you do."

-- Dan Kennedy


Jokes

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As a single, never-married woman in my 40s, I have been questioned endlessly about my status by my friends, relatives, and co-workers.
Over the years, I've noticed a subtle change in the nature of their inquiries.

In my teens, friends would ask, "Who are you going out with this weekend?"

In my 20s, relatives would say, "Who are you dating?"

In my 30s, co-workers might inquire, "So, are you dating anyone yet?"

Now people just ask, "Where did you get that adorable purse?"

-o-o-o-o-

Dr. Frankenstein had been noticing for several years that his 'monster'
seemed to be lacking a certain 'je ne sais quoi' in his life. He and Mrs. Frankenstein were discussing the problem one day, and the Missus suddenly had a bright idea. "Maybe he needs a mate."

"Good idea, my dear," said the doctor. "Let's create him a mate, and he can make love to her for the first time this coming Valentine's Day."

So, they worked day and night and finally got the lady 'monster' ready in time to 'wake her' on Valentine's Day.

The original creation was there beside Dr. and Mrs., just jumping from one foot to another in eager anticipation of the solution to this craving. As the electricity snapped and popped, Dr. Frankenstein shouted, "Look! She’s about to speak!"

The new creation sat up and croaked in a broken voice, "Oooooo---oo!
Head----ache!"

-o-o-o-o-

The husband asked his wife if she had seen the morning paper. She said, "Yes, I wrapped the garbage in it---just the classified section, though."

He responded, "But...I hadn't seen it yet!"

She replied, "Oh, you didn't miss much...just some coffee grounds and a few orange peels."

-o-o-o-o-

The old gentleman: May I have a large glass of prune juice, please.? The wise waiter: Is that for here, or to go?